Did Hugs from Brothers freak you out???

by orangefatcat 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • orangefatcat

    On many occasions at the KH brothers are seen hugging sisters and I wondered how that would make you feel and would you tell your husband about it? On several occasions I knew of this married sister who was constantly approached by a married elder and he would hug this sister to the point it made her feel uncomfortable. Upon speaking to her about it on many an occasion I said to her if you feel uncomfortable then it he is in the wrong. As an elder he had no right to make her feel that way. During meetings he would make gaga eyes at her and I told her that this elder who was married by the way, was making sexual advances to her. At first she was angry with me for making such remarks but then he started calling her from his place of employment during the day. I told her that no happy married elder would call another married sister if he didn't have strong feelings for her. As time progressed she still was in denial and one day I asked her one simple question, and I would be willing to drop this whole matter. I said why does this elder call you everyday from his office when he knows your husband is at work and would your husband be angry and upset if he found out about this? She pondered for a while and said your right, I guess what he is doing is wrong, I told her your damn right this is wrong. This elder needs some strong talking to and so I asked her if she wanted me to ask her husband what he felt. She begged me not to. I didn't because at some point she really felt that his hugs really ment more to him then to her and that i was right. She must have at some point discussed the matter with her mother and the mother called the husband of my friend and said something needs correcting and fast. The next thing I found out that this brother and family moved to the USA. I often wonder if the elders wife had found out how would she feel about this sister as she was cute and she was a little on the heavy side.. I know she would be crushed. Its just as well that this elder went away to the States but then he started calling her again during business hours. I told her just don't answer when it displays on the telephone and he will get the message or I will tell your husband and the congregation elders. She knew I would too. Because this sister was my sister and I was trying to safe her from making a crave mistake. I love'd her very much. Oh but what the WTS has caused between us I lost my sister to them. She hasn't spoke with me for nearly four years. Will she remember how I saved her...??????

    How would you feel if this happened to you and I suppose it could be the other way arround. Give me your feelings on the matter.

    Love orangefatcat

  • little witch
    little witch

    You told your sister that you would betray her to the elders, and you don't understand why she would be pissed off at you? Do I understand you correctly?

  • Xena

    I prefer to give people advise if they ask me for it and them let them make their own choices...right or wrong.

    As for being freaked out by hugs from brothers....well...I am not a real "huggy" type of person so it wasn't much of a problem for me.

  • wednesday


    i have read a lot of your posts, and the style of writing seems different here. Who is this really?

    agree, u threaten to betray your sis and u are surprised at her reaction?

  • SanFranciscoJim

    Not at all...in fact, there were a couple of brothers I wish I'd gotten more hugs from!

  • Mulan

    There was one older brother, in another congregation, who was my brother's father in law. He was so sweet and nice, but very distant. I tried to hug him, in a daughterly way, and he was so formal and didn't receive it well. That bothered me more than the ones who hugged easily.

    I am a huggy person, so it didn't bother me, usually, when the brothers would hug me. There were a few lecherous ones, I avoided.

  • orangefatcat

    the last thing i would ever do is to betray my sister, because i loved her with all my heart and still do. All I wanted her to see for herself that if she wasn't careful she would end up in a situation that could turn out to be very harmful to her and her family and if that isn't love than I don't know what else to say. Surely my sister needed a little more guidance and I believe that I was the one to help her. She is my baby sister. Would you not do the same?

    my sister is the one who betrays me because she is under obligation to love the WTS and its mother organizaton more than me. she has left the natural laws of life and nature. Being brainwashed by MEN is leaving the natural ways of nature and love.

    How much power can an organization have over any individual? Only that which the person allows.



  • Euphemism

    LOL @ Jim!

    If anything, from what I've seen, a lot of congs tended to be too uptight about hugging between male and female friends. I thought that attitude was ridiculous.

    But of course, I'm not talking about a case where a guy is actually hitting on a girl, like fatcat is descriging... that's something different altogether.

  • little witch
    little witch

    OFC you poor lost soul....

    You are not a savior. You are not moral police. You have sacrificed your relationship with your dear sister for the very "men" you profess to abhor....

    Love is where we find it...Love doesnt follow rules...Your sisters romantic/sexuality is of no concern to you.

    You are her sister, not her overseer.....Get a grip on yourself

    Edited to add, You need to concentrate on your own life. Get some booty for yourself, you will feel better!

  • Beans

    Terry, I am happy to say I never got one!

Share this