My turn to ask some questions

by Lady Lee 62 Replies latest jw friends

Lady Lee

fabulous Simon Well done
Euphemism

Thanks for answering that, Simon... it was good to read your thoughts.
bebu

I came over from a link from Freeminds.org. This board was moving along quickly and the discussions were really interesting and varied.
I lurked about 2 months, and then a few topics interested me enough to decide to sign up.
I am not a JW or an ex-JW. As y'all know by now, it is my neighbor's situation which was the catalyst for my deciding to bone up again on all the WT dogma and the counter-arguments. I was quite nervous about posting. I thought old-timers would scoff at someone who they deemed a party-crasher.
I learned something beyond intellectual debates here. I'd always thought of shunning in very light terms; surely JWs who were shunned by their families were just occasionally snubbed. Here I've been finding stories about families that will not invite their own flesh and blood to a wedding or alert them to a funeral. Accidents happen to a family member or a friend, but the shunned never are told. The disfellowshiped have no sympathy or joy shared in their own weddings or tragedies. The overripe fruit of wicked theology, dropped in my lap. It was a horrible coverup of sorts that only JWs were really aware of. A board like this is the WT's worst nightmare!
The things that keep me here include the chance to give some consolation to victims I never knew walked in our society. (I hope I will meet some of you someday.) I love reading stories about successes/breakthroughs. I love newby posts. I'm still learning a ton about JW culture. And I am surprised to realize how much your encouragement has meant to me as I look back. It's meant a LOT.
I don't know when I'll leave. It'll be at least a while after my JW neighbor exits, I believe.
I think the board is in a good place right now. (Too good! It's addicting.)
bebu
Lady Lee

Thank you Bebu
anyone else please
Tinkerbell4125

Gosh Lady Lee, that's a lot of questions! I think my first curiousity was to see if someone was feeling the same way I was feeling about leaving the org. I have found a great support system here. It's hard for others to understand exactly what it's like to leave a cult unless you've gone through it yourself.
I thank Simon for the site. It has helped me immensely.
And I thank you Lady Lee for being such a sweetie!
lovinlife

Lady Lee, I too came from Randy's link a while ago. I would "come in" and see what was new and lurked for a while. I have so many of the same reasons for coming here that many here have already expressed. I wanted to hear what others in my place had to say-that was my goal. In the process, I learned that I am not alone in how I feel...whether those feelings be happiness, rage, etc. When I started posting, I felt a part of something. The nice thing about that is when I left the dubs, I felt alone. I had no friends...literally. By coming here, it took away the loneliness somewhat. When I lost my computer, I could not come for a long time. Now that I have my new computer....I try to check in everyday. I missed it! The only thing I did not miss was the flame wars, but then, I usually just ignored them and went on to happier or more informative posts. The thing I learned here is that we all have very deep feelings about how our life was and is now. Sometimes those feelings go over the top. But I don't judge anyone anymore...I have had enough of being a judgemental person. Let everyone have their say...I don't always have to agree with them, but they have every right to vent. This site is a great place for that! (lovinlife sends a hug to Simon for caring enough to do this....)
Big Tex

· When you first came here what did you expect? I first pulled this site up in January/February (I can?t remember for sure) 2002.
· What were you looking for? I was tired of seeing Nina and the kids go to meetings and I was desperate for some insight. I thought surely someone else somewhere had a similar situation or at least some advice on what to do.
· Did you find it and if so how? I lurked here for several months before screwing up my courage to post. Nina posted before I did, by a day, but I found it to be kind of scary.
· Where there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? If so where? I found this site through Tim Campbell?s site. I posted there for several months before I came here. Freeminds was also a great site, but all my questions were answered here. I used to live in the archives and read just about everything Maximus posted and a number of threads by Farkel and AlanF. It was shocking to read the truth about The Truth.
· How did you feel coming here at first? Scared stiff. I just knew Jehovah was watching and I was cursed to hell forever.
· How long did you read before signing up and posting? I think around 6 months or so.
· What made you feel safe enough to post that first time? Safe? No, didn?t feel that, but I took a deep breath and just dived in. Fortunately no one paid any attention to me or what I wrote for 5 or 6 months. Or so I thought until I went to my first Apostafest. There I found out that most everyone recognized my user name and (God forbid!) they had actually read and remembered things I wrote.
· If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay? That was one reason I was so nervous posting. For months I lived in fear that I would forget to put a comma correctly, or missepell a word or even worse, make an inaccurate statement. But after my first run-in with Farkel, I was okay. I realized that it?s okay to state your opinion, but the problem folks here have is when that opinion gets stated as a fact. For example, I?ve posted many times my belief in God, Christianity, etc. but I?ve been very careful to frame the post as what I believe, rather than ?I know for a fact ?? I?ve been challenged on what I believe, but it?s always been a discussion, not a flame. Big difference. Honestly I think there were more flame threads and probably more intense flames threads in July 2002 (when I first posted) than today.
If you have been here for a while now
· How do you feel over-all about this website? I like the direction Simon has it headed in. I don?t think it?s unreasonable to ask for common courtesy. I don?t hear him as forbidding disagreement, but I do hear him asking that those disagreement be handled in a respectful, mature fashion. That was rarely the case here in July 2002. If someone takes a contrary position, and wants to has it out, that?s one thing, but I don?t see the need for endless arguments, just for the sake of arguing or for making personal attacks on another person.
· Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning? Nope. I?m over Jehovah?s Witnesses, I?m more centered about spirituality and myself than I have been in years.
· Have you thought of leaving? If yes then why stay? What keeps you coming back? I thought of leaving when Jennie was attacked, but that lasted only as long as I was angry. I?ve not talked about it much here, but I have a very bad temper (ask Nina). I?ve worked on it over the years but I?ve got a long way to go. As for staying, I do feel a debt to Simon and to this site for all I?ve received here, and so I hang around to provide help where I can, and a listening ear when I cannot.
Valis
When you first came here what did you expect? I didn't know what to expect.

What were you looking for? A listening ear before I blew my stack.

Did you find it and if so how? Yes, just jumped in and got the feel and the rest is history.

If you were looking for information how did you look for it -
ask a question?
wander through the threads?
use the search utility?
other?

Where there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? If so where? Nope

How did you feel coming here at first? A bit odd considering I hadn't had much to do w/JWland for a long while.

How long did you read before signing up and posting? About half an hour...*LOL*

What made you feel safe enough to post that first time? Nothing to lose.

If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay? Sass is not necessarily a bad thing.
If you have been here for a while now
How do you feel over-all about this website? I think it is a good thing.
Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning? No. I have since resolved the big issue w/my parents and the way they were acting towards my kids.
How has the board changed? Lots of new people registering at a much faster rate.
How does this affect you? Gives me a further opportunity to meet people in VT and RT.
Have you thought of leaving? If yes then why stay? What keeps you coming back? Sometimes yes...I have the odd occassion to remember not so pleasant things, or perhaps getting more pissed off by some cretinous user than is good for me. I stick around because of all the kick ass people I have met and am glad to call friends. From one end of the continent/world to the other I know if I was out of sorts I could probably make a call and have a helping hand not too far away at all. It is a comforting thing to me and lets me know that my descision to make this board and the people on it an extension of myself was a good thing.
What do you see as the main goal for this board? Getting people to understand that JWland is not the be all and end all that they pretend to be and that yes indeed, there is meaningful life after being a Jehovahs Witness.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
seven006

When you first came here what did you expect?
- I first came here a couple of times when Simon was still a JW and this was more of a pro JW site. I read a few posts, shook my head and didn't come back for a long time. I had heard on another site where I was a mod, that this site had been given some new light and the truth was setting many free and pissing a lot of others off. I also heard that my old buddy Alan was making some noise hear so I signed on. I expected to see him twisting current JW's into knots. He was. I got what I asked for, all was well with the universe.
What were you looking for?-Alan and Janet Jackson
Did you find it and if so how?
-Yes, I found Alan within a day. Sill hoping Janet Jackson shows up.
If you were looking for information how did you look for it -
ask a question?
-I wasn't looking for information, I was looking for Alan and Janet. I found Alan pouring sand down You Know (Roberts) pants and making a total nuisance in the sandbox. I couldn't resist getting to know one of the anointed up close and personal so I joined in. I miss Robert. Does anyone know what happened to him? Did he eventually die and go to heaven?
wander through the threads?
Yep

use the search utility?
- nope
other?
-nope
Where there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? If so where?
-Well, Alan told me to check out H2o, I did and it was a bit too childish for my liking. Janet wasn't there either.
How did you feel coming here at first?
-I felt fairly good. My neck was a little soar from sleeping all night with my head cocked to the side. Someday I wish they'd make a couch designed for guys who may have had a few too many the night before and left their jammies and pillows at home. Them damn couch pillows are way to big.
How long did you read before signing up and posting?
- I think it was about an hour...maybe an hour and ten minutes, I don't remember. My head was still a bit foggy. I haven't drank tequila shooters since.
What made you feel safe enough to post that first time?
-My spell checker had not gone out with me the night before so I knew it would save me from looking like a total illiterate. I also had all the doors locked and had used new fresh scented Zest soap to shower with and had that Zestfully clean feeling. My hair wasn't completely dry yet but I figured what the hell and I started to post.
If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay?
- Flame wars? I didn't see no flame wars. A few misunderstandings and some colorful words being tossed around but I didn't see any flames. Later on a few months down the road I saw some nasty things being said back and forth but it seems that it was all coming from the same people who were doing the same thing on H2o. I'm not sure but I think they have all moved on to another board and made up for a few days. Either way I think they secretly love one another and where one goes, the rest go. Tough love can be a beautiful thing to see in action.
If you have been here for a while now
How do you feel over-all about this website?
-Well, to be honest, Simon really pisses me off some times. Just like when I have to buy an upgrade to one of my graphics programs those dammed code heads keep moving all the buttons and changing how everything works. You have to relearn how every thing works after spending six months figuring out the last "easier to use" improvements they made. Then I feel like and idiot not knowing how to post a pic and some new teeny bopper makes a post to me with all those stupid little smiley faces and bent over butt flashing icons telling me how to do it. Code writers are like women, you cant live with'em, and you can only fit four of them into the trunk of a Lincoln Continental.
Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning?
-Nope. I found Alan but if any of you here are really Janet Jackson or even better, Sandra Bullock using a stupid little board name to try and hide who you really are, please PM Onacruse and tell him. It will definitely get back to me. The damn guy calls me almost every day. Then his wife Biker Babe ties to say something in the back ground and I have to keep telling him to tell her to shut up and not try and get involved when men are talking. Then she tells me to (pretend there is a cuss word here) off, and she makes him a sandwitch and he hangs up.
How has the board changed?
The buttons...all the damn buttons keep changing!
How does this affect you?
I cuss now. Iv never cussed before in my life. Honest.
Have you thought of leaving?
-I have, several times, but since I don't post one of those "Im out'ta here forever, everyone tell me how much you're going to miss me" threads, no one notices. Which is good because then I don't have to post one of those "I changed my mind, everyone welcome me back" threads two days to two weeks later. People crack me up.
If yes then why stay?
The slight possibility that Janet Jackson will show up to talk bout how the JW's messed her big brother up enough to make him climb trees and collect zoo animals. And the outside chance she will think I'm the one and only and have sex with me.
What keeps you coming back?-Same reason as above
What do you see as the main goal for this board?
-improving my really shitty typing skills and giving me something to read while my 3D program renders my illustrations.
Dave
waiting
I've not read this thread entirely - I stopped at Simon's comment:
When I first posted here it was boring as hell and everything echoed ... then waiting and some others arrived and I've struggled to get a word in since. Only kidding waiting -simon
humph. I'll bet. men. (hush, uzzah)
As to LL's questions......ok.
When you first came here what did you expect? first forum participation - expected nothing.
What were you looking for? calmer waters than H20.
Did you find it and if so how? yep.
If you were looking for information how did you look for it -
ask a question?
wander through the threads?
use the search utility?
other? we chatted, argued, laughed, cried - became friends.
Where there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? H20 & info sites.
How did you feel coming here at first? jw.
How long did you read before signing up and posting? 5 minutes.
What made you feel safe enough to post that first time? personal ignorance & small place.
If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay? I was in the middle of the flames - I had to stay, eh?
If you have been here for a while now
How do you feel over-all about this website? 90 "over-all" (nobody's perfect, Simon)
Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning? kinda.
How has the board changed? Huge. Not catering to jw's in particular. It changes with the posters & mods & Simon's reactions to the foregoing.
How does this affect you? Miss the coffee & Krispy Kremes.
Have you thought of leaving? Yep. If yes then why stay? Where most info & people found. What keeps you coming back? Why, you, Lee.
What do you see as the main goal for this board? Would depend on Simon's main goal, now wouldn't it............and how it fits with our own goals.

My turn to ask some questions

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