my heart hurts.

by flower 54 Replies latest jw experiences

  • flower
    flower

    well i have been feeling a bit like crap lately.

    work has been very stressful and my attempts to make new friends outside of the jw's have been mostly futile. the people i work with are immature and are more interested in the latest office gossip and whose doing what than anything else. i dont fit in there as i think my experience as an exjw has made much less shallow and childish than they are and less interested in stupidity than they are. i dont care about meddling in someone elses business and spreading it around the office. it seems you cant make friends there if you choose to stay neutral of the back stabbing and gossiping and personally i just dont want to be involved in that kind of behavior.

    so i join a writing group thinking that perhaps i can make friends in a group of people who share a similar interest. unfortunately, they are not so intersted in being friends at all. they are only interested in staring at and ignoring me. I am not the kind of person that usually is part of their community as it seems. living in a well to do neighborhood isnt all its cracked up to be it seems. i've shared my experiences and tried to strike up conversations but mostly i get one word answers and lack of interest. It makes me feel like crap to try being friends with someone who doesnt want anything to do with me.

    So I dont really know what else to do . Except I know that I cant continue on alone. I miss my family and the friends I had back in my home town. I start to wonder if there is any way they will have a little heart and take me back.

    So I make the mistake of calling my sister. I tell her that I am sad to the point that I dont know what to do. I would be ok if I just had someone to talk to about life every once in a while. Just one friend to vent to when I have a bad day at work or to share kid stories. I would like to just talk like we used to and maybe exchange stories about our kids who are about the same age. I promise I will never say anything against the jw religion or say anything that she would consider wrong. I am in tears when she tells me she cannot talk to me and doesnt want me to call again...EVER. I can hear my little nephew in the background and I wonder what he looks like these days. I havent seen him since my grandma died a year ago.

    Sometimes it seems impossible that my life can truly be this lonely. I really dont understand it. I am not that bad a person. I have made some mistakes but I have also done a lot of good,at least I think so. It seems like no matter what I am doomed to an existance such as I have had for most of my life. That of being alone. I dont believe in God for the most part. But at times like this I have to wonder if I have truly pissed God off from a very young age and have been doomed to live out this existance as a punishment.

    If I passed away today there would be very few people at my funeral if any. I have wanted for ten years to change that and yet the fact remains... No one cares.

    I just had to vent. I know it doesnt matter but heck no one else I know would even hear this out. :(

    flower

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    (((((flower)))))

    You know you can email me any time hon [email protected]

  • myself
    myself

    (((((((((flower)))))))))))

    My heart aches, knowing what you are going thru. The worse part is that your sister is so brainwashed that it is causing the loss of what should be a wonderful relationship. I wish we lived closer so I could be right there with you RIGHT NOW. Flower, I do care, and your pain reaches out. I don't know how to lessen what you are feeling right now, but I wish I could be there just the same.

    Karla

  • ApagaLaLuz
    ApagaLaLuz

    Ahhhh..... Flower. Keep your head up sweetie. I have been there REALLY. Just give it time.

    p.s. I sure would miss ya

    *muah*

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    I feel your pain...

    It's so hard to get tossed out there and try to make "new" friends. I found myself so many times getting so envious of people who had friends since they were in middle school...and I had to start all over again. It's so hard!

    Honestly, if I didn't have Eyegirl, Scootergirl, and Not_Interested to hang out with on the weekends I'd have gone crazy.

    Flower you never have to worry about not having someone to talk to as long as you post here...we'll all listen, and I am sure if you were comfortable and passed your phone number to some select friends (at your discrestion of course) you'd have quite a few people to vent to over the phone who would love to hear from you...

    Baby steps...

  • gumby
    gumby
    Sometimes it seems impossible that my life can truly be this lonely. I really dont understand it. I am not that bad a person. I have made some mistakes but I have also done a lot of good,at least I think so. It seems like no matter what I am doomed to an existance such as I have had for most of my life. That of being alone

    Flower,

    All who have long time family and friends who are dubs....and those dubs shun them......feel as you feel. It hurts. I too long for old friends and miss their company. I however have not found it hard to find good people to hang with as they are all around. I am extroverted but do not know about you. Are you outgoing, friendly, possitive? Or....are you depressed? I don't remember if you said you had SAD ( seasonal effective disorder) or not........but "tis the season" for it if you do.

    I hope you can get over some of these problems

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Gumby

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    I wish you had been with us last weekend, Flower. You would know you are not alone. I am so sorry you are having a rough time.

  • darkuncle29
    darkuncle29

    FWIW I am sorry that you are lonely.


    After I faded and left work and moved 200+ miles away, I was mostly lonely too. I do have family near, but we all need a break from each other so that we can still love one another.


    I would reccomend using this time you have for finding who you are. Instead of looking for others to be friends with and meet your needs, look within and discover what qualities you like/love about yourself. Be your own friend.


    Go do something completely new to you. Go with the intent of gaining experience and learning simple lessons. Take Tai Chi or martial arts training. Try Yoga. Meditation. Remember the whole point is to do the activity for you, and not nessesarily who you will meet.


    Once you are aware and able to fullfill your own emotional needs, meeting people happens without your trying. I worked in a grocery store for ten years. I've met so many interesting people that way that I would not have met any other way.


    I am a complete stranger, and mean no disrespect. I could be totally out of line.

    .....brain fart...just blew my thought frame....

    anyway, take care of you. Try to think like a child and explore who you are and the world.

    Find yourself first, and others will find you.

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    Great advice Darkuncle!

  • shamus
    shamus

    Flower,

    I know that you've been having a rough time for a while now... this time of year is the worst, with little sunshine and little to do. I, too, find myself bored and lonely.

    Some people are just not nice. You can tell right away; that group you were at, that is. Don't go back. They are just different people!

    You can email me anytime, too,

    [email protected]

    If you just want to chat, or wahtever... I am pretty bad on the phone, as Razorblade found out, LOL! (I have yet to call him!) but, believe it or not, behind the sarcasm and dumb remarks sometimes is someone just like you, just like everyone.

    And yes, you would have felt like a million bucks if you were able to get down to Florida and meet everyone... I have never heard a bad comment about anyone yet! People here are very friendly in Real life too!

    Brian.

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