by Jesika 41 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
(((((((Jes))))))))
You not only went through that horrible time as a 14-year old, you have to face the pain again now and go through it - but when you get to the other side this time you'll feel healing, not shame. No, you sure didn't deserve it, and you're a mighty brave gal to turn your abuse into a way of trying to help others. You have a good therapist.
Acsot (sitting here in your cheering section applauding you wildly)
(((Jesika))) I can't even begin to imagine a childhood like yours. Don't know what else to say except that you are in my thoughts.
(((((((((((jes))))))))))))) Dede and I are here for you.
Jesika,
I am so glad you posted, many of us here have been concerned for you hon!!!
I hope I am not out of bounds with my following comments, but I just need to say it.
When I read your original thread "my story" and I came to the part about your father forcing you to undress and beating you, I really lossed it. I literally threw up, I was so upset. I thought (and still do) that this was sado-masachism and he was using this dicipline as an open way to sexually abuse you.
When you posted last time, I went back and read your story again, and lights went off. This (I think) was one of the reasons you felt like an "object". You were trained at an early age to be a sexually object and a subject of gratification for people to use.
I am so glad you have made this connection. It is probobly the single most explaination of why you feel/behave in ways that you never understood! I am so happy you have learned this. I pray for the day you find your healing, I care for you very much.
Congratulations on your revelation, and thankyou for sharing it with us here.
Love,
Dee
{{{{{Jesika}}}}} I know from personal experience that spanking can constitute sexual abuse. In my own case, it was painful to come to that realization, but it was also a relief, because I could accept the wrongness of what was done to me. I agree with everyone else... it is truly brave of you to face these things. My thoughts are with you.
Jes, haven't communicated with you in a while. Though this thread isn't the best of circumstances, I've always respected your openness.
I wish you well.
- Cliff
(((Jes)))
Hi Jes, once again you floored me with your openess and courage. (((((((Jes))))))))
Thank you all for your support.
I guess the reason I am so open with issues like this is cause I would like to help someone who hasn't been in counseling before.
I learned a long time ago in counseling that it wasn't my fault, so that part I have finally come to grip with after years of telling myself it wasn't my fault.
What seems so obvious to some-- is in the dark to others. Like me not seeing this as sexual abuse, but it was.
LW.....No honey you were not out of line in your comment, Thank you.
Cliff.......Nice to know I am missed when I am not here.
I don't have the time right now to personally address everyone right now....but want to say thank you ALL very much.
Love,
Jes
PS. Thank you to the mod who moved this thread for me.
btt.
I hope that lurking witnesses who were subject to the same abuse takes note.
