The JW?s Time Wasting Guide to Field Service
Techniques for maximizing your field service numbers
while minimizing unpleasantness
The door rub - Many times, a Witness will avoid ringing the doorbell, for the ostensible reason of not disturbing persons who may be sleeping. A knock is preferable - the softer the better. Some timid persons will actually pretend to knock, while not making a sound. This serves the triple role of preventing actual contact with the person inside, preserving the call as a not-at-home, which can be worked later, and counting time.
The early call - A favorite technique is for a Witness to stop and make a door to door call, even just a not-at-home, while on their way to their meeting for field service. This allows them to start the meter, drive for a while, go to a short meeting, drive for a while longer, and then begin work, with the meter running all the while. Making that one early call can easily add an extra hour of countable time for every person in the car group.
The service pace - If you have ever observed Jehovah?s Witnesses in their door to door work, you may notice that they seem to walk very slowly. Quite often you will see them just sitting in their cars or standing on street corners in small groups. This is called the ?service pace?. In normal life, these people move at the same speed as everyone else, but while the meter is running, they look like they are walking up their wedding aisle.
The coffee break - In every morning of service, there must come a donut. Witnesses are allowed to take a coffee break of 15 minutes, while still counting time. So, they usually choose a coffee shop that is as far as possible from where they are working. After all, travel time counts, too. If you ever see a large group of persons wearing suits from the 1940?s and having coffee on a Saturday morning, you can be sure that they are Witnesses. When the world ends and JW?s take over, the world will be devoid of educated professionals, but, by God, there will be jolly good lunches.
The public lunch - Closely related to "the coffee break", the public lunch affords yet another opportunity to count time while satisfying bodily functions. Here is how it works: A group of Witnesses goes for lunch. While eating, one of them places a magazine on the table in plain view of passers by. This constitutes "giving a Witness", thereby enabling the time meter to continue running. In many ways, it is similar to "the wooden Indian" (see below). Some persons have attempted to put a Watchtower in the back window of their car, and count time whenever they drive, but that's just silly.
The literature tip - A commonly used technique during Watchtower conventions is "the literature tip". Occasionally, when JW's are attending a convention or other function, a group of them will eat in a restaurant together. And, when you get this much brain power in one place, it is only a matter of time before someone will come up with the idea of leaving a book or a pair of magazines for the waitress, instead of a tip. Their reasoning is: The message of eternal life is far more valuable than money. This has given rise to a proverb of the food industry: "When Jehovah's Witnesses come to town, they bring the ten commandments and a ten dollar bill - and they don't break either one."
The not-at-home shuffle - Once a territory has been worked, the Witnesses must return to call on the not-at-homes. This takes more time than regular territory, because the calls are spaced wider apart. Often, territories will have only a few calls left. So, large amounts of time are spent driving between calls and territories. Many times, lazy Witnesses will specifically design their day to maximize travel time.
The wooden Indian - You have probably seen Witnesses standing on busy streets, holding a small display of Watchtowers and Awakes. In most cases, they will stand completely mute, expecting someone to actually approach them and ask for a magazine. This is called ?street corner work?. It is ideal for those rare Witnesses who are so terrified of human contact that even public degradation is preferable.
The empty house call - Most Jehovah?s Witnesses go from door to door on Saturday or weekday mornings. This is the least likely time to get people at home. Once it has been established that a certain home is always empty at a particular time, you can be assured that that is when the Witnesses will call.
