Elder Kid Behaviour An Issue? 22/10/2003 Awake!
by Stephanus 54 Replies latest jw friends
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Stephanus
Here are some highlights from the article:
"My father is a well-known elder in a congregation of Jehovahs Witnesses. I respect him, but at times I have resented the fact that everywhere I go I am known just as Bill's son."-Larry.
"Because my father is a prominent elder, I felt everyone had high expectations of me, and it was very difficult for me just to be myself" -Alexander.
As you get older it is only normal for you to desire some independence-to be able to establish your own name, or reputation. At your birth your parents chose a name for you that appealed to them. Now, as you develop as an adolescent, you want the chance to choose your own name"-that is, to make a reputation for yourself. King Solomon wrote: "A [good] name is to be chosen rather than abundant riches; favor is better than even silver and gold." (Proverbs 22: 1) Even while you are young, you will probably want to begin to establish your own identity. Living in Their Shadow Like Larry and Alexander, some youths feel that they live in the shadow of their parents' name or achievements. Perhaps their parents are prominent in the community because of their jobs or education. Or it may be that they are well-known in the Christian congregation. If either is true of your parents, you may sometimes feel that you live under a spotlight and that everything you do is under constant scrutiny. You may resent the pressure you feel to behave in certain ways simply because of who your parents are.
Ivan's father, for example, serves as an elder in a local congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses. Ivan says: "Because my father was widely known and respected, I always felt I had to be an example at school and at home. I felt that I was used as a benchmark by other parents for how they expected their children to act. While flattering, this put me under great pressure to perform in front of others. As a result, I sometimes lacked modesty and failed to recognize personality flaws in myself." Alexander says: I felt that I was being watched all the time and that if 1 made a mistake, fingers were always that if I made a mistake, fingers were always ready to point at me." Larry, quoted in the introduction, tried to avoid the spotlight of attention by hiding his family name. He says: "When I met new people at social gatherings, I would say, 'Hi, my name is Larry,' and stop there-not mentioning my surname. When possible, I would even sign forms with just my first name. I was afraid people would treat me differently if they knew who my father was. I wanted to be treated as normal by my peers."
Of course, it is only reasonable that others might have high expectations of you if your father serves as a Christian elder or a ministerial servant. After all, men in such appointed positions should be "presiding in a fine manner over children and their own households." (1 Timothy 15,12) No wonder, then, that people expect you to be exemplary! But is that entirely a bad thing? Not when you consider that the Christian youth Timothy, while perhaps still a teenager, was chosen by Paul to travel with him and to share in vital ministerial work. (1 Thessalonians 11-3) So you should strive to be an example, whether your father is an appointed elder or not.
Rebellion a Poor Choice
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stillajwexelder
Notice how they're all studying the Watchtower?????!!!!!!!!! Not a Bible to be seen.
Quite an accurate pic really.--
---Where are the Bibles? (that is why you hear many answers prefaced: "The paragraph says," "The magazine says," "The slave says," "The Society says," but rarely, "The Bible says"
This is all so true - we just do not see it when we are in - only when we come out of the Borg
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Pistoff
Perhaps their parents are prominent in the community because of their jobs or education.
???!!! What elder or their wife is known for their education??? Lack of it maybe; in our hall, the PO was a hayseed; you just cringed through his talks because he slaughtered the language. Another "elder" ( if you knew him, you would understand the quotes) was the worst speaker on the face of the earth. To be the son of either of these two would have been frightening.
More likely, being the son or daughter of an elder meant that the FATHER HIMSELF put you through hell as much as the cong.
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Stephanus
I was wondering when someone would notice the education reference. As you say, since when is education seen as something to look up to in the Dubs? Perhaps it's an attempt to disguise an article purely about elders' families for the benefit of outsiders who might stumble across it. However, outsiders would tend to be in the same boat (the parental shadow thing, I mean) because of political, entertainment or business connections, among others. Since the Tower tends to discourage at least two of these categories, a Dub who was educated before conversion is presented as the other type of Dub who might be seen in a good light (perhaps a doctor or accountant). So we have another Dub lie masquerading as truth - that they encourage education and revere it!