Unrequited Love

by compound complex 10 Replies latest members private

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  compound complex

  Greetings:

  Perhaps you have loved someone who didn't love you in return. Yes, that person may have liked you very much but not "loved" you in that special sense. I read (not having considered this before) that the so-called rejector can also suffer emotionally when he or she expresses no romantic interest in the suitor. I'm not writing about a crass rebuff from the pursued who is just annoyed with all the unwanted attention. It's the guy or gal whose friendliness is misinterpreted and realizes something has to be said -- NOW!

  Is there anything you'd like to add regarding the dual aspect of two people's suffering?

  Thanks.
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  sparrowdown

  I always got on better with males rather than females even at school always had male besties. As I got older and my boobs got bigger this natural non-flirty rapport was misinterpreted I have backed away from friendships with men for this reason. It always saddened me to have to do so. Sad for the loss of a friend and sad for their pain.

  Alas, now I fear friendship with men is impossible unless the guy is gay. I wish it wasn't like that but it is.

  I do remember having a secret crush on a male friend's brother once and never said a word about it. It was exquisitely painful and euphoric all at the same time - bittersweet as they say.
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  compound complex

  Thank you, sparrowdown, for your story, one I can relate to, although I'm male. Your words below are perfect:

  It was exquisitely painful and euphoric all at the same time - bittersweet as they say.
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  jookbeard

  these two were the best
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  compound complex

  Thanks, jookbeard, for letting us know about Ted and Ralph.

  The brief summary I just read of The Fast Show tells me this is both a humorous and touching program. Love shows itself in many forms and cuts across all social barriers.
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  jookbeard

  I wondered what part of the world you are from CC, Ted and Ralph was an excellent set of characters and really quite touching, The Fast Show was great!
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  Diogenesister

  My best friend commited suicide partly because of this. I'm sorry I can't talk about it. It kills me and I think about him every day.
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  compound complex

  Thank you again, jookbeard, for posting.

  I'm from California and love shows that originate in the U.K. I went to Netflix, but they don't list The Fast Show. I'm a binge-viewer when it come to great TV shows.

  My condolences, Diogenesister:

  I will message you as soon as I am able, if that's all right (not wishing to worsen your pain). What you're dealing with can become unbearable. The pain cuts both ways, for the rejected as well as for the one pursued, who feels guilt and remorse.

  Blessings and peace.
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  compound complex

  . . . this natural non-flirty rapport was misinterpreted I have backed away from friendships with men for this reason. It always saddened me to have to do so. Sad for the loss of a friend and sad for their pain. -- sparrowdown

  Thank you, sparrowdown; I'm just now rereading what you and others have helpfully posted. What you have written is helping me now. Not everyone knows how to reply to such question, perhaps because they haven't ever been overwhelmed by undue attention. They brush it off. They deal with it. They ignore it.

  Wish I knew how to cope with the pain caused to others.

  Thanks again.
  
  
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  just fine

  I have had this happen to me but it has brought me to where I am now. While it sucked at the time, I learned something about myself and what I wanted in a relationship.

  I would thank the guy who dumped me more than 20 years ago for breaking off the relationship because if we had stayed together none of the amazing things that have happened to me would have happened. I wouldn’t have the fantastic husband I have or moved away, went to school, found my way, if he hadn’t dumped me.

  As a side note, one of my best friends (outside of my husband), is male. We have been friends for 15 years, and there is zero romantic atttaction. I think males and females can be just friends in certain circumstances.