New Divorce Rules ???

by jazbug 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • jazbug
    jazbug

    A friend of mine is getting a divorce because her husband is questioning the WTS...he's sick of the cover-ups...in light of a new elder abuse case here. She says she can't lie with someone who is going to talk against the WTS..So I asked her how she could get a divorce for those reasons. Evidentally, the CO came to talk to her and because she can't get govt. help if she's married, he told her it would be ok for her to get the divorce and she shouldn't think she is doing anything wrong.

    I've only been out a year....so where did this rule/principle come from?

    jazbug

  • shamus
    shamus

    I have no idea... sounds about par for the dubs, though.

  • jazbug
    jazbug

    OOPS...typo...that should have been LIVE not LIE...but technically it could be the same thing...

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    sounds like another one of those rules that some hear about and others don't. I had a man pushing me to the brink of suicide if he could have purposely and even lied about being able to have sex (no we behaved and didn't test it out). But the elders told me not 8 months ago that I couldn't divorce him. I couldn't even separate. I could have received an anullment in the laws of the land but we can't honor that. And tell me this, I am willing to bet that IF some parents found out their kids got married but yet had not had sex, ran to the elders, some cong would say go get an anullment. There has not been a consumation of the marriage. So then and anullment would be oK? but I marry a guy who can't and it isn't recognized. (yes I am bitter and this was my eye opener to get out) Not to mention because he did not yet have a green card he couldn't work and was bleeding me dry financially. I was almost evicted twice due to lack of funds.

    So like I said.. bet this is a rule someone said was ok for her but not necessarily a unified one coming from the WTBS.

    ok I'll stop rambling. But if finances are enough for her and the fact he questions the society, boy that burns. It's ok though. If they had been more understanding, maybe I'd still be blind. In the long run I think I am better off.

  • Panda
    Panda

    I hate the WTS because of stuff like this. I think the WTS should be held responsible for ruining peoples lives.

    {{{{SNS}}}}}: I am so sorry for your nightmare w/ the elders, and your non-marriage.

  • simplesally
    simplesally

    The CO is probably having her claim that she is a victim of Extreme Spiritual Endangerment. She can be separated but should not qualify for divorce. And if she divorces she cannot remarry.

  • woodland
    woodland

    My understanding of it is, and always has been, that couples can get divorced on many grounds, such as abuse (as long as they can cope with the back chatting that will follow from within the congregation), but it is only if one commits adultery that they can re-marry.

    I also know that many elders and congregations have different rules? it depends on how lax your congregation and body of elders are!

  • blondie
    blondie

    Woodland, that is how divorce for nonscriptural grounds, extreme abuse, financial nonsupport of the family, and spiritual endangerment, is handled in this area. The JW individual can divorce the mate for these but cannot remarry unless their ex-spouse commits fornication/adultery. How long do you think that ex-spouse is going to choose celibacy? But I have seen JW couples separated and live apart for years.

    I think this is another example of the hypocrisy of the WTS. Rarely, is a woman encouraged to divorce her husband on grounds of extreme abuse yet as soon as he has a religious opinion different than hers, people are saying 'get a divorce' to protect yourself. Obviously, it is safer spiritually to be beaten to death by a husband, than to risk not being a WTS member any more.

    Blondie

  • Perry
    Perry

    The old "Extreme Spiritual Endangerment" trick.

    Oh, how they love to bust up families....let me count the ways.

  • JT
    JT
    I think this is another example of the hypocrisy of the WTS. Rarely, is a woman encouraged to divorce her husband on grounds of extreme abuse yet as soon as he has a religious opinion different than hers, people are saying 'get a divorce' to protect yourself. Obviously, it is safer spiritually to be beaten to death by a husband, than to risk not being a WTS member any more.

    YOU ARE CORRECT and the reason is simple , they feel that she can WIN HIM OVER if the issue is abuse and they can site examples of sisters who took ass beatings for years and now he is a Elder or CO smile

    but if he questions the org, turns his back on jah, org, and goes to the DARK SIDE satan-

    he poses too much of a risk-

    as Perry pointed out BASICALLy THEY would perfer the sister to be hit side the head with a FIST THAN STRONG ARGUMENTS about why the wt ain'[t what it claims to be

    YOU GOT TO LOVE IT

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