by iiz2cool 16 Replies latest jw friends
Walter, I understand what you're saying. I probably would never have met alot of the great people I now call my friends but, perhaps I would've met them anyway under other circumstances. It's doubtful but not impossible. You're a sweetie Walter and I'm glad to know you.
~Aztec
I'll give a different perspective on this:
Do I like who I am? Do I love myself? Do I completely accept who I am? (Please note that this addresses us, not our behaviour).
If I can answer those questions in the affirmative, then I have to note that to change any of my past is to change who I am. Every single experience I have, whether "positive" or "negative", has shaped who I am. I may not want to repeat those experiences, but they are a part of me, and to reject a part of me is to reject myself (we are not divisible).
Again, another perspective: Does everything happen to us for a purpose? I would say no. Does everything happen for a reason? Yes, but we don't know what it is. Oftentimes it's the laws of physics:)
Events do not happen to me for me to learn from them. They are just events. I experience them and decide what they mean to me - I am responsible for that assigned meaning. If I see a little kid hit by a car, it is the height of narcissistic ego to think that that tragedy happened in order to remind me of the transitory nature of life. But if I witness this tragedy, and I do not take the moment to remind myself of the transitory nature of life, I have missed an opportunity to derive whatever positive effect that tragedy might have conveyed.
So, no, IMHO the universe is not conspiring to teach us lessons. The universe is providing lessons 24/7 - and sometimes we pay attention.
I'm glad you were too Walter - and here's a pinch & a beer for you!
Since I let myself get absorbed as an adult I only have myself to blame so I might look at some of these things differently: it could have been worse. I met my wife through the KH. We celebrated our twenty-ninth anniversary last weekend and we still like each other. I could have been my brother (never a dub) who is now on his third wife (I like her and liked number 2, but I could retire on what he's spent on lawyers). Yes, I gave up grad school when I became a dub, but every time I watch "Boston Public" I'm glad I didn't do it. I wanted to go into either an administrative or counseling track for my Masters in Education. I might now be in a job I hate with every fiber of my being.
As a co-worker said to me at the time I was leaving "Don't stress about it. Everybody gets where they are by the path they took. The important thing is what's next."
Personally I wouldn't have minded skipping the experience of being a dub. I haven't met anyone in here anyway other than online stuff. So if I had a choice, I'd pass.
<----never a JW here. But I have had my share of grief. Would I make the same decisions again, knowing what I know now? Good thing I don't have a chance to find out, because most likely, I would not have had my two strong and capable adult children, or ever met my adorable grandchild.
The way I look at it, I can't turn back the clock. Going what I went through HAS made me a stronger and more compassionate person. I can chose to celebrate what I have become, or wallow in my past. I chose to celebrate and move on.
(((((Walter)))))
you may all consider yourselves hugged/pinched/groped (according to your personal preference).
I'll feel honored to accept a hug from you!!! Yes ... being a dub all those years has shaped us into the beautiful people we are today. Being a dub has brought us to a place on our life's journey that has helped us to "choose" for ourself where our path will take us. A place of healing and growth!
I'm soooo proud of you Walter!!! Look how you've grown!!!!
Sooooo ... back at you!!! You may consider yourself hugged/pinched/groped (according to your personal preference).
ESTEE
