I know this shouldn’t bother me...but

by MTSman 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • MTSman

    So I woke up this morning with nothing planned for the day. I rolled out of bed around 9am and went to local Mcky Ds to get some breakfast, and lord and behold there was a group of jdubs sitting around eating and sipping on coffee, probable counting time. Anyway, I glanced over and recognized all of them and they glanced back at me. It was a quick judgmental glance. I know the glance because I used to flash it at df’d people I he I was in. You see I’m coming up on ten years out. I just was a zealous, company man who dreamed big, talked big and did everything I was supposed to do. My family can’t understand why I’m not back and know these folks think the same. But here’s the thing, whenever I do talk to my family, only when someone is in the hospital, they fill me in on everything that everyone is doing and most of the time it’s bad shit. And the folks here at this place, this morning we’re part of a some crap that went down that had even me shaking my head, but for some reason they looked at me like I was some diseased being. It bothered me for a good minute or so but then I just ignored them and went on. Is there anyone else that gets annoyed by people who act self righteous even though they really shouldn’t?

  • jp1692

    That’s what you get for going to McDonald’s. It’s bad for your health!

    Seriously, it takes time to change our view of things and no longer be bothered by their judgmental stares.

    Have you ever read Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter?

    It’s an important read for all ex-cult members, particularly those if us that have had to deal with shunning and public shaming. No spoilers, but the way Hester Prynne, the protagonist, handles the situation with courage and dignity is really inspiring.

  • moreconfusedthanever

    I would have walked up to them with a big smile and said "good morning. bit early for the morning tea break isn't it?"

    It is very infuriating when you get treated like second class by a bunch of pretenders but you are the lucky one because you are free.

  • JakeM2012

    The arrogance is repulsive. I continue to enjoy the peace in my life without all the drama, demands of congregational works, and control over every minute of my life.

    It takes a while for your new choice in life to mature enough that those things don't bother you. Eventually, we can compartmentalize our time as witnesses into a small box and view it just like we did high school.

    We used to sing "Keep your eyes on the prize", I try to keep looking in the windshield and not the rearview mirror.

  • LongHairGal


    The Scarlet Letter was a good book that I had to read in Catholic high school. I remember the nun saying that if they still did that nowadays, there'd be a lot of little "A"s around.


    I am sorry about what you experienced in the fast food restaurant but when somebody is out of the JW religion, they are looked down upon by JWs still in - even if those JWs were guilty of the same things!

    The fact they are IN is supposed to make you think they are holier than thou.

    You should always have a pleasant and happy expression on your face when you are in a store and run into JWs. You don't have to talk to them. I hope you look prosperous. The reason I say this is because JWs want to believe that somebody who leaves is on skid row. If somebody has the grunge look along with a downcast look on their face, the Witnoids will say "ah, too bad.."

  • Crazyguy

    Is there a religion full of more self righteous people then the JWs?

  • smiddy3

    We used to sing "Keep your eyes on the prize", I try to keep looking in the windshield and not the rearview mirror

    I love that Jake
    Don`t worry MTSman time cures everything even being indoctrinated into a cult.

  • AudeSapere

    I am successfully faded for many years.

    It took a long time for me to lose the awkward feeling when encountering JWs that I used to know.

    Then one day I ran into a couple at a local restaurant. They looked really sad. And I'm not sure they saw (or recognized me). So on my way out I stopped by their table and with a smile I said 'Hi! I'm (my real name). I remember you. How are you and the kids?"

    They proceeded to tell me sad things.

    And when they asked how I was, I happily responded that I was doing really well! New career going great. Just bought new home in nice neighborhood. Keeping in touch with my family. Parents are getting older but overall doing well.

    It felt soo good to honestly present myself in a good light and focus on what is right in my life without falling into the 'whoa is me' conversation that so many JWs have.

    Ever since that encounter with the sad-looking couple, I have made it a point to look JWs in the eye and smile broadly and sincerely. And if we talk, I make sure to tell them something GOOD that is going on in my life.

    I wonder what would have happened if the OP had walked up to that table in Mickey D's and said "Hi guys! Good to see you. Have a great weekend! Bye~!!"...

  • Xanthippe
    Is there anyone else that gets annoyed by people who act self righteous even though they really shouldn’t?

    Yeah my brother did this to me at my uncle's funeral. My siblings ignored me at the crematorium but when we went back to my aunt's house I went in to the kitchen to help her of course while the JWs sat on their bums as usual. Did they expect her to feed them all on her own after her husband's funeral?

    Anyway she kept asking me to go in and ask them what they wanted to drink and then what sandwiches they wanted, then what cake. My brother, the elder, looked at me as though I'd crawled out from under a stone. He didn't want to speak to me but seeing as I'd been put in charge of food what could he do!

    He was getting angrier and angrier and redder and redder. I tell you it was all I could do not to laugh my head off. You've just got to enjoy their craziness. I thought he was going to explode! So funny!

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    MTSman - I can fully empathise with your feelings as my wife and I experienced the same self-righteous attitudes while we were still in and not woken up yet. However, since fading and researching & comparing WTBTS dogma with what the Bible really teaches, I don't feel anything but sadness for JW's who disdain those who don't conform with what their cult spouts. No JW (not even TPT of the GB) will ever make me feel slighted. I'm better than than them, because I've escaped - they're still in chains.

    Undeniable fact: J.W.'s - whether elders or publishers - will very quickly terminate any Bible discussions which highlight an org falsehood. The J.W. cult-mentality dictates that their listening/reasoning abilities switch off if they hear any such Bible proofs. Grow in stature when confronted by such mental pygmies.

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