Allow me to re-introduce myself

by neworleanslady 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • neworleanslady

    I haven’t been on here in years, had an old account but don’t remember the username or even the email to which it was attached. Life, man. Anywho, 13 years out (that feels wild), born in, fourth generation, elder’s daughter, baptized at ten, partially homeschooled (but apparently not enough lol), former convention stage performer/pioneer/foreign language congregation member, etc. Ran away from home in the dark of night when I was told I’d be disciplined for applying to university. JW family is still deeply committed to their cult (no surprise there). I’m coming up on the ten year anniversary of my cousin’s shunning induced suicide. It’s got me in my feelings a bit, an increasingly rare occurrence. Oh, funny but also pitiful story: my brother got married (I wasn’t invited but my child was - little did they know, we were living abroad). Turns out, he and his wife had actually been married and secretly living together for months. My dad made the officiant (some distant cousin I’d never met or heard of) announce that they were already married during the ceremony. My brother, fyi, was 40-something at the time. When my only non-JW sibling told me, I cried for my brother. I mean f*** him for having the nerve to shun me while semi-breaking rules. But also, how humiliating. If I’d have been there I’d have knocked the officiant upside the head with the microphone, maybe our dad too. The gall of these people. This, my friends, is why I can’t be no witness. I just don’t have the disposition for it. I don’t stomach poison well. Whatever part of me was ‘rightly disposed’ has evaporated. God bless ‘em.

  • Diogenesister

    No..Sorry, Not having that.

    YOU are the "rightly disposed" one. (It doesn't add 'to be a Jehovah's witness' at the end!) What is it with these people?!! Imagine so carelessly trying to ruin someone's big day like that. His own father! Nuts when you really think about it!

    I'm very sorry about your cousin😞It's funny, although most negative feelings wane over time, when it comes to death - especially a tragic young death - the pain increases, imho. I think because it starts to hit hard, as your own life experiences pile up, just how much your loved one has missed. Just how much they've been denied. It's just something I've noticed. The older apostates get, the angrier they get about "JW Suicides", even when Watchtower barely enters their thoughts anymore, let alone their lives.

    Anyway....rant away! We're here to listen❤️

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad sound like one hell of a survivor to go girl!

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    We're here for you. Tell us anything.

  • Biahi

    Welcome back! So sorry about your cousin. Are you in New Orleans now? Love the food there. Also, the famous hurricanes at Pat O’Briens 🍹

  • WingCommander

    Welcome back!

    What I'd like to know is.......what happened next? What University did you escape to? What was your major? Are you married, successful, etc?

    Your family sounds like control freaks.....which the JW produces many of.

  • wannaexit

    Welcome back

  • neworleanslady
    Thanks for the warm welcome, everybody!
    @wingcommander went to Loyola in New Orleans (cause I wasn’t planning on leaving my family/the religion; had I known I’d have gone out of state), majored in English literature and Spanish (which I already spoke bc I was in a Spanish congregation and had “served where the need is great” abroad in a Spanish-speaking country for several years - thanks, borg! lol). Not married - still working on that whole emotional intimacy and trust and abandonment issues thing, but I hope to be one day (took me a decade to even see the value in having a family). I am an award-winning, internationally-published art critic, literary non-fiction writer (aka essayist), and playwright. Which is to say I get paid to do the thing I left to pursue, not without supplementation from contractual jobs I take on through my consulting business (communications consulting for arts nonprofits, museums, and individual artists). I feel good about where I’m at and how my artistic practice (and overall character) is developing. I’d share links to my writing but also am not entirely sure about being non-anonymous on here just yet.
    @biahi yep, back here now! My son and I had lived abroad for a few years but I needed to take care of some things back home.
  • TonusOH

    neworleanslady: I’d share links to my writing but also am not entirely sure about being non-anonymous on here just yet.

    I can't fault you for that. Glad to hear things have worked out well, even with the JW baggage that we end up carrying after we leave.

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