I am so annoyed right now I could just spit.
First, some background info: My brother's mother-in-law (a JW) seems to feel as though she has some special connection to my gramma because they have both lost their husbands. She's a good 10 - 15 years younger than Gramma; and, truth be told, Gramma doesn't especially like her. My gramma is NOT a JW. She is a strong member of the United Church. A couple of years ago, this woman (I'll call her Betty) was talking to my gramma, just shortly after the death of my grandfather. Gramma expressed her beliefs that she would see my grandfather in heaven; and Betty immediately exclaimed, "Oh, but you won't!" My grandmother was so upset; but would never be so tactless as Betty had been, and so did not tell Betty, as she should have, to go straight to hell and not pass go. Since then, Betty takes every opportunity that she sees my gramma (which, I admit, isn't that often) to share the "good news of the kingdom" with Gramma...much to my gramma's tremendous discomfort. My parents & grandparents came to an agreement many years ago that they would not bother each other with their religious beliefs, an arrangement that both parties honoured and it has worked well. Apparently the arrangement doesn't extend to Betty.
My siblings had an anniversary party for my parents recently; and my gramma was naturally invited. (Wondering whether I was invited? LOL I wasn't.) Betty was there, and latched on to my grandmother & didn't let go. My gramma finally had to say, "Well, my beliefs are different. I'm going to get some food." And had to physically walk away from her to get rid of her!! ARRGGHH!!!
When Betty first made the comment a couple of years ago about Gramma not seeing her husband in heaven, I was tempted to write her a letter. As I had never known her to be a thoughtless person, though, I decided to bite my tongue. Now, I've had enough. Here's the letter I'm sending her:
I am writing to you today concerning your behaviour toward my grandmother, Xxxxx Xxxxxxx. I know you have seen her several times in the past couple of years, and I am told that you have taken these opportunities to "witness" to her and share "the good news of the kingdom".
I realize that you believe you are offering comfort or hope to her when you witness to her. In reality, you are deeply offending her and making her tremendously uncomfortable. It is terribly disrespectful to her that you keep barraging her with your JW beliefs, although she has made it clear that she does not share those beliefs. I am thinking, in particular, about an incident several years ago when you bluntly told her that she would not see her husband again in heaven. How dare you presume to foist your beliefs on her and hurt her feelings in such a manner!
My parents and grandparents long ago came to an understanding to agree to disagree, and not discuss doctrinal differences. Imagine what your reaction would be if my grandmother tactlessly blasted you with United Church doctrine each time you met! You would quickly end the conversation, and not be drawn into doctrinal discussions with someone of different beliefs. Please extend the same courtesy to her that you expect for yourself.
My grandmother has expressed her deep discomfort (and, frankly, utter exasperation) at the way you continue to pester her with JW doctrine. I have never known you to be a thoughtless person, and so I hope that you will accept this in the spirit in which it is intended, as a plea on my grandmother?s behalf that she would never make herself. Please respect that she does not share your beliefs, and leave her alone.