CJx there is another side to this situation.
In my case my wife and I left. Basically we faded away and happened to move twice and lost all contact with our JW friends. That was not a problem........ our family was..... especially my side. Our Moms and our sisters did not shun us it wasn't required back then.
So the other side of the coin is that whenever we visited that 800 pound gorilla was always sitting in the living room with us, at the dining table.
We wouldn't let it crawl into bed with us lol but there was always a fresh WT and Awake next to the bed. I could smell them and despised the circle reasoning.
Our families interests centered around 'the friends'...new lite, assemblies and so forth.
The End was always coming.
We couldn't leave our son unattended as we had no trust in them making the decision to allow blood if he was in a serious accident. Nor would they respect our request not to bring him to meetings or study the Bible JW style.
The mistake we made was to try to stay close to our family......... to try to be a family.
Every visit could become toxic.
CJ Your Dad had no reason to shun you....... it wasn't even required by the WTBTS.
But now I have no relationship with him because of that.
He was a drunk, abusive and an adulterer. He choose to be that way. The odds are you would not have tolerated him around your family or exposed your friends to a person like that.
He's the one that lost out.......... you have your own family. But yes we know that it still hurts.
I'll end on a brighter note....you've just found your lost tribe......... hang around and get reacquainted.