Strict Implementation & Compliance

by Minae 13 Replies latest social relationships

  • Minae

    Are JWs strict in implementing and complying on their RULES for dating / relationship / marriage?

    What happened when one does not abide by the rules?

  • smiddy3

    Yes they are strict on all of the above ,and if you break the rules the best that can happen is that you will have to appear before there judicial committee and be counselled and the worst that can happen is that you will be disfellowshipped and then shunned by all of your JW friends and also your family.

    Which in hindsight could be a good thing because it might make you wake up to the fact that the JW religion is an American man made cult religion .

  • Tameria2001

    Yes, they have very strict rules. When I was dating my husband, before we were married it was a very stressful time in my life. If a JW breaks the rules they will face some form of punishment, from reproof to being kicked out of the religion, which would lead to being shunned by everyone that is a member of that religion, including family members.

    These are a few of those rules

    A couple must have a chaperone, and never be by themselves. No touching, other than hand holding, they even frown on hugs. No sex before a couple is actually married, and they even have rules about what is allowed and not allowed after you are married, or at least it was when I was still a member.

    This leads to some serious issues because quite a few of their young members get married just so they can have sex. Because of this, a couple doesn't get married because this is the person they want to be with for life but can find themselves not compatible. As a JW you are not allowed to remarry unless the other person has admitted to adultery.

  • Biahi

    When did this chaperoning thing start, I never had to do that, I left for good in 1983.

  • Giordano

    Minae you can review those rules here:

    Scroll down to Reasons to be Disfellowshiped:

    I believe there are over 30 heading's with additional rules attached so closer then 100 reason's you can be shunned.

  • Maria Nieves
    Maria Nieves

    Minae, I have read all of your posts as soon as you posted them.

    I am aware of your current situation. Most likely, the father of your unborn child would be disfellowshipped if his congregation were to know that he got you pregnant. His behavior would be viewed as sin. What’s even worse is that he has shown no remorse in regards and has moved on with his life. He is not repentant which is grounds for disfellowship.

    However, I believe that his behavior towards you has nothing to do with the Jehovah Witness religion. He chose not to accept responsibility for his unborn child and I believe that he would have displayed the same behavior even if he was not a Jehovah Witness.

  • blondie

    Minae, I would add that unless he confesses to the jw elders that he is the father or you get a paternity test done on this jw guy, it is his word against your word. If you have to apply for assistance, many government organizations require a paternity test before they find him liable for paying that support.

    I hope things work out better for you.

    Love, Blondie

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    Totally agree with Blondie. Also since you are not jw, the eldumbs will be leaning to believe every word (even lies) the father of your unborn child says coz he is a jw. He is one rung up the ladder than you so they will belive any BS that he spews. Also they have to keep the reputation of the organization clean too (cover-up, lies all inclusive to achieve this ). When it comes to his word ahainst your word; JW's tend to believe one of their own. Truth does not count.Sorry!

    My heart goes out to you , I am ever so sorry for you. Hope things work out well for you and your unborn child .


  • Minae

    Thanks for your responses. My family doesn't want me to be in contact with him anymore so I cut it off months ago.

    He even threatened to take our child away from me.

    I just really want everyone to know how an asshole he is, so he won't be as proud as he is now... Acting like a good man, when he's a total jerk.

  • blondie

    Minae, I will add that the biological father has some rights per the government regarding custody. I would check into what those are in your area and get your family ready to face the possibility he might sue for custody. jws are told that their minor children's eternal future rests on the actions of their parent a baptized jw...eternal destruction at Armageddon. One parent baptized jw and not df'd or da'd, still by the time Armageddon comes, live through Armageddon. jw parents are also told to teach (mind control) their children that the only thing for the child to do is get baptized as a jw whether the jw parent is the custodial parent or not.

    I speak from experience. My father was not a jw, my mother was a jw. Created all kinds of problems. If you can get sole custody of your child, think strongly about it if it possible to get.

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