Helping your Spouse wake up

by HappyBlessedFree 20 Replies latest jw experiences

  • HappyBlessedFree

    Has anyone had success in helping your spouse to wake up? If so what did you do.

    I’m thinking of showing my husband JWfacts. He is starting to do his own research using Wikipedia and google. It’s been about 3 months that we both have stopped attending meetings, but he still fully believes!

  • Ficklemagpie

    I stopped going to meetings in 2014 my hubbie still very much In. I made all the excuses like, migraine, ill, depression etc but he realised that something was wrong so I told him "I'm not going back and the reason which is the cover ups of child abusers and elders not cooperating with the police. Then after that I just slowly drip fed info or asked him to explain an issue that I pretended to not understand. A year later he left the org. So the slowly slowly method worked for me.

  • StarTrekAngel

    This is a repost from another similar OP.

    Glad to hear you are taking such approach. Some of us were hit with a ton of bricks upon waking up, which meant we did not think so clearly. We just took the ton of brick and showed it to our loved ones while we pointed the finger at the GB and the org. In my case it was rough but eventually it worked. Is not without injuries but we survived.

    Now for the part where I preach what I have not practiced. If your husband is so ready to do the research, sit down and do it with him. Do your research privately as well and always stay one step ahead. This place is a great resource for that. Use this to ask the right questions to steer him in the right direction. Make sure you communicate an attitude of sincere curiosity and not one of aggression towards the org. Remember that any attacks towards the org are perceived as an attack on God. JW facts may still be too raw for him but you can use JWfacts to make a collection of articles that can be studied from the watchtower directly.

    I did exactly the opposite and lived in hell for close to 3 years.

  • Ding

    StarTrekAngel makes a very good point.

    Help him do the research he wants to do rather than pushing on him all the research you think he ought to be doing.

    Don't come across as having it all figured out and inundating him with evidence.

    If you attack the organization, he's likely to jump to its defense and you'll become the enemy.

    Nudges in the right direction are fine as long as he sees you as helping him rather than taking over.

    I should add that this isn't a matter of gender.

    My advice to him would be the same if your situations were reversed.

    It's a matter of not triggering the persecution mindset the WT instills in JWs.

  • Bugbear

    Good luck.

    I have spent 15 years trying to to that, still no success, but she feels quite lonesome some times...

  • StarTrekAngel

    Sorry to hear Bugbear... there are some cases in which nothing will work. People attach to these groups for emotional reasons, not logical. Defeating emotion with logic is a very hard task. Those of us who value truth and transparency, did not leave because they preach the wrong religion. We left because they were not truthful and they were not transparent. I don't care if this was about God or aliens. If I joined a group about aliens I would be fine as long as they would never insist aliens are real without evidence. If they chose to twist the truth just for the sake of attracting members, then the issue with me would have nothing to do with the existence of aliens, it would have to be about a lack of transparency.

    You have to find out what attracts them to it. Easier said than done.

  • Queequeg

    The "slow drip" method worked for my wife.

    Also, it worked for my parents.

    It's getting close to a decade since we walked away from Watchtower world.

  • Old Navy
    Old Navy

    Some come to believe that the policies of membership and its modern Love of Money are wrong yet cannot ascertain whether their so-called Bible based beliefs are in error.

    A site that was very helpful in my case was this one:

    L. Ray Smith - Exposing Those Who Contradict

    His explanations of things related to the End and Armageddon, the Lake of Fire, prophecies, that the whole World will ultimately be "saved" and more very positive revelations really opened my eyes.

    His page is not a religion or a following or a group of any sort; just sensible interpretations of the Bible message.

    The Watchtower Cult is terribly wrong with their fear mongering and extreme control as we all know.

    Freedom from fear is an amazing relief and healer of the mind.

  • TheListener

    My wife is still in and probably always will be. Partly social and partly to spite me, maybe.

  • HappyBlessedFree

    Thank you all for the time you take to help me. Even if you don’t have the answer just knowing you all care enough to say something means so much!

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