Arguments

by iiz2cool 12 Replies latest social relationships

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  iiz2cool

  Suppose you and your significant other have a disagreement, dispute, arguement. Different people have different ways of resolving disputes. What works best for you?

  1. We discuss the issue calmly and rationally and arrive at a mutually acceptable solution.

  2. We yell at each other and hurl insults. Whoever has the best lungs and loudest voice wins.

  3. I tend to remain silent and bow to the will of my significant other.

  4. We resolve the situation in bed.

  5. I am sole and absolute dictator in our relationship, and I make all decisions.

  6. Other.
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  Vivamus

  The last major argument I had ended in me being silent, him ranting, me giving in (and boy, did I give in, but I might have been wrong in the first place, so it was right for me to give in). Me sulking afterwards .... then, me getting sarcastic over it, him ranting again .... then, after much time, me still mocking to sulk over it, he jabbing over it.

  My gawd, time to grow up, eh?

  -

  Blue Bubblegum Girl
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  jgnat

  6. Other.

  I try and separate the feelings from the issue. If my feelings have been hurt, I use word pictures and examples (i.e. sports, food, cars) to help him understand the impact of the offence. If things get too heated, I might leave the negotiating for another day when we are both calmer. If he thinks he is going to lose the argument, he tries to deny, deflect or defer. Deflecting and denying just ticks me off. Once he crosses that line, his only salvation is a swift and sincere apology.

  Deferring works well for both of us, as long as we don't forget to deal with it before the "issue" comes up again.

  Making up is also a lot of fun.
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  joannadandy

  6. Humor
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  tinkerbell82

  i used to always go for 3...sickening, huh? except this last argument, where i picked option six...get the hell outta dodge
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  RAYZORBLADE

  I tend to go for the Number 1 solution.

  Problem is, for some: options 2 through 100, are what they use.

  I usually hand them a mirror so they argue and rant at themselves.

  I have been in relationships, have had disagreements, but when someone goes off: I walk away, I refuse to participate in an arguement: been there, done that.

  No need of participating in Adult Day Care. I can't stand watching adults throwing tantrums. Ugh!
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  frenchbabyface

  Ok ... If I do remember well one methode was never enough
  It was like we have go througt several step before we get over it

  Usually :

  when it was about bab faith (cause it that I can't stand in any way) in order

  2* (when is was acting like no no no) - 6 (ask him to forget about me for a while and think about it or sarcastic humor) - 1and the reason why we stood 11 years together without leaving together was because I guess we finally always end up with 4 when he was able to agree that it was bad faith (I mean you can't go back on something that you did wrong, I just wanted him to acknolegde and admit the fact that I have been hurted or that what he have done was not acceptable)
  
  When I was the one who messed up in order

  1(I apologize very quickly - I hate to be wrong) - 6 (sarcastic humor but on myself) - 4

  ----

  * About 2 : I was the one who got the best lungs LOL (I guess not anymore though I smoke too much)
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  JH

  6. Other.

  Stay single.
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  BeautifulGarbage

  All of the above, plus a few others.

  (What can I say? I've been married a long time )
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  arrowstar

  Number 1...I'm happy to say

  I'm here to tell you it makes all the difference in the world. My ex and I would shout and rant and raise hell. But nothing was ever resolved and we were doomed to repeat it.

  Lisa