by jc1985 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    JC1985- I'm very sorry to hear that your marriage is going down. I had that happen to me as well with my JW wife many years ago and divorced in the late 1990's. But you will live to love again another day sometime in the future. Life is like that. Changes in life bring both negative , but surprisingly enough, many positive changes as well. Like John Lennon stated, " Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans . " So true.

    As Wasanelder and others said, we are here for you as a support offering our friendship to you if you ever want to talk. Check your private mail here in awhile, I'm sending you my contact information so we can chat sometime if you'd like. Hang in there friend, we feel what you are going through and many here, including myself have gone through this. Check your PMs. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Good JW
    Good JW

    JC1985 - sorry to hear about your wife etc. It's tough when you don't know what's ahead, but before long you'll be grounded again and having a life! Honestly, I'd say the first 2-3 years properly out the org was the hardest because you're in a state of limbo - not really knowing where your "home" is and not feeling connected to anyone. Once that phase of grief is out of the way you'll be surprised at how lost and alone you once felt, and how at one time everything looked hopeless. You'll be glad to hear it's definitely not bleak, you just need to have patience in letting the story play out.

    I remember going through euphoric phases, followed by darker ones (very up and down). Nowadays I'm very happy and look forward to the future with excitement (kind of like as a kid). The thing that got to me when leaving was the social life of a JW - I generally felt pretty well connected. Initially I felt that something was missing - that interaction and belonging to something greater (not just in a friendly sense, but religiously/spiritually too). Nowadays I don't even feel that anymore; have made connections with plenty of other people (took a while to start trusting). It's like gradually coming out of a cocoon lol. One thing needs to be shed before you can go to the next stage, and often you don't know what's coming and how much it contributes to inner change. Much of the time you're learning a lot about yourself, there's a great learning curve (bigger than most have to endure).

  • somebody

    jc 1985, do you and your wife have children together?

  • jc1985

    Thanks to all for the warm welcome, the words of wisdom help a lot. To answer somebody, no we thankfully do not have children. I do not blame my wife. Our lives are going in different directions, I wish I could get her to see the truth but sadly some just have too much emotionally invested. It’s gonna be a strange next few months, it ought to be interesting.

  • FadeToBlack

    Welcome jc1985. Can I ask how old you are? I have just reached 60. My wife threatened to leave after I failed to attend the last memorial, but she is still here. Hang in there. You get thru it!

  • Ding

    Sorry to hear about your marriage.

    The WT is really adept at breaking up JW families.

  • zophar

    Love the John Lennon quote about life! Remember that song fondly, as I age myself.

    My work keeps me in touch with the public and it really helps. I was happily surprised to find an abundance of really wonderful people out there. It is a lot easier once you quit viewing them as worldly or future bird food. There is a large non-denominational church in this area and I have met a number of people that attend there. They all have been very kind even after I mention that I was "raised" as a JW. They are very involved in the community and doing good works and I really admire them for it. That alone has been very eye opening for me, a born in JW baptized in the 60's.

    Another eye opener for me was when I first started to listening to other Bible scholars and ministers. I was under the impression that all non-JW's don't read their Bible or use it in Church. Definitely not the truth.

    The thing is once you see the crack or allow that first doubt to materialize, you suddenly see a whole new world. I like Leonard Cohen's line, "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

    And the light of free thought does indeed get brighter! In fact, I believe that is the meaning of Proverbs 4:18 "But the path of the righteous is like the bright morning light that grows brighter and brighter until full daylight." -NWT.

    That Proverb is discussing the experience of a person, NOT a spirit directed organization! In that setting it is certainly true. We grow as people, opening our minds and thinking for one's self will lead to a brighter and happier life. May that be your experience JC1985. Wishing you a bright happy future starting today.

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