I was converted j.w about 15years ago but last year I got to know what sort of people they were in reality. My husband and I made the decision in five minutes.Within few days we sent a very brief letter that stated in few words that we were living the oganisation disgusted for what we so in tv on channel 9 the previous Sunday. We reach very fast that decision because we freely and voluntarily got in ,therefore with the same spirit got out. There as been other factors involve that we could not put up anymore. It would have been more a trauma to stay in than move out quietely ma assuredly. Forever happy.
Why is a trauma to move out from an organisation like the j.w ?
by arancia 10 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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refiners fire
A lot of the problem lies in the difference between the external world as the dubs have painted it and the external world in reality. A lot of dubs have little experience of life without the WT to hold their hand and tell them what to do. As well, The WT religion being laced with so much powerful and strong emotion generating propaganda and imagery, a lot of dubs find the world outside of dubdom, without those powerful stimili, hard to handle.
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shera
Glad your finding your way back out..enjoy.
Heather
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arancia
It is very interesting to see how little they can see.Sunday show is on every week,and is free of charge.I was in the same shoes ,listening the same talk,preaching,etc etc.and yet never sure I was doing the right thing.I want it to make sure of every thing sooo,I practised the thing they teached.Because I knew The world pretty well,I was not afraid of it,but I did not much the insiders to trust completly,I was not wrong.
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nobody told me
Because they (lie) tell you God is going to destroy you if you do. The longer you're around that, the harder to break free. The other lie is that you can't be happy without them. Wrong!!!!!! I will admit the transition was very difficult, but the thought of going back to a bunch of control freaks makes me crindge. Glad to be out and glad to be free!!!!!!
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talesin
Congratulations, arancia, on your choice to be free. All the best on your 'journey'.
To answer your question from the viewpoint of one raised in the bORG.
- I learned practically zero social skills, and didn't know how to interact with people.
- I never had to decide what was right and what was wrong - I was always TOLD the right/wrong thing to do. I had to learn a values system.
- The principles of judgmentalness were deeply instilled in me - it took years to learn to accept myself and others for who they are.
- Shunning - when I was DFd, I had one friend in the world (my boyfriend) and it was very hurtful to have lifelong 'friends' and family walk by me on the street without acknowledgement.
- Lack of education - even a high-school education was discouraged (which for me meant 'forbidden'), so it was a struggle to achieve any status in the workplace.
- I had believed all my life that jah was watching me every second, even KNOWING MY THOUGHTS. Guilt was a huge part of my life, and took many years to work through.
Hope that was helpful.
talesin
'free at last, free at last, thank g*d almighty, I'm free at last'
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Dimples
'free at last, free at last, thank g*d almighty, I'm free at last' - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
That is exactly how I felt when I left. It will be 4 years this December.
Dimples
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Singing Man
When you walk into a Bar right away you know what its spirit is, if its a good place or a bad place. When you want out some how the Dubs the know somehow you are no longer absorbed, so they will treat you like you have a cold they might catch. Then you will eather continue falling back or be sacred and jump back in with them out of fear of being alone again. I have seen this same power used in a Bar on people who go to the same place a lot.
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freeman
Being a JW is much the same as living behind the iron-curtain was some years ago.
You are warned never to listen to the pleadings of anyone who is part of that decadent outside world, or even listen to your own inner voice that says something is so very very wrong. Behind the iron-curtain of the Watchtower your life is complete, beyond it you are on your own. One reason that it is so traumatic to move beyond the iron-curtain of the Watchtower is because the organization is so all encompassing, so all knowing, and without you every realizing it, it is also quite totalitarian.
In fact the Dark Tower is the living embodiment of the word totalitarian. The Tower has something to say on just about every aspect of your life, the way you dress, groom your hair, spend your money, spend any free time, the type and manner of sex you have with your mate. You name the subject; there is most likely already a commentary on it from the Dark Tower.
I believe that one of the biggest attractions to this cult is that everything is so very simple; just follow the rules written and otherwise and you will be OK. Your world is laid out in such a way that many of your very basic needs are met. You have instant friends, and that means that you need never develop real relationships based on anything other then the fact that you are all in the same group. Too bad you will never know what a true friend is. But who needs true friends when you have a have a grand purpose. Just don’t leave the club or else!
At least you already know what you will be doing on the weekend and for that matter much of the week too. Yes, you will be quite busy, you have a schedule, you need to get your hours in and don’t forget about underlining your tower, very important, it shows spiritual maturity.
When reality creeps in as it inevitably does from time to time you need not fear. You have built in mental defensives and also others are there to help you adjust to the correct group-think and put you back on track. All is well, problems will be minimized for you and what can’t be glossed over will be fixed any time now as long as you just hang on a little bit more. We are so very close to the end you know.
So why is it so hard to leave, why is it so devastating? For all the reasons I talked about above and I’m sure a good many that I never even thought of. Bottom line, don’t join a cult, they are very hard to leave.
Freeman
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Gadget
- Shunning - when I was DFd, I had one friend in the world (my boyfriend) and it was very hurtful to have lifelong 'friends' and family walk by me on the street without acknowledgement.
My parents became jws when I was young, I have no recollection of anything other than being a jw. My parents made a choice to be a jw, my choice was made for me. And yet when I decide to leave vitually every person I have known in my life tells me to get lost, the y want nothing at all to do with me, even threaten to attack me if they see me in the street. Thats why it gives so much trauma when you decide to leave. And I didn't believe it to start with. Couple that with the realisation that you've been lied to and brainwashed for so many years and you see how hard it can be for some people.