OUR MENTAL HEALTH (page 3)

joannadandy

For most of you, how would you rate your present mental health?

Three months ago--I was pondering suicide again. Which I don't even know why because things were going so "smoothly", and I was for the most part happy.

Two months ago--I was on cloud nine. I was laughing all the time, I was sleeping great, there were daisys and sunshine bursting from butt--ok not quite, but I was pretty dern happy! I was getting some of my old confidence back.

This month--pretty craptacular. Lots of reasons for this I guess. Some more obvious than others. I seem to cry at the drop of a hat, I am totally second guessing myself, but no suicidal thoughts yet.

Ledfootdj--I think you made some great points, and if you don't mind a crackpot saying so, i.e. me, I think you have a very well balanced view of things, and a good grasp on things.

I think my present mental condition has little if anything to do with being a JW. I think I am just rolling through some rocky parts in my life. And what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Something I do have, that I didn't have when I was 16, (when I first attempted suicide) is hope. I have hope that I will finish school soon. I have hope that I will do well teaching my first classes, I have hope that eventually I find a job (despite the less than perfect job market right now), I have hope that eventually I meet someone who appreciates me. I have hope that eventually my relationship with my family will stabilize. Hope--it's not much but it's really the only thing that is keeping me sane at present. *deep breaths*

Oh yeah, another thing I have that I didn't have when I was 16 are some pretty great friends, who care about me, and remind me when I am being an idiot and need to stop being such a worry-butt.

Ray--you're such a cool guy--and by the way when we talked a couple nights ago, it felt pretty darn good. (I count you directly among the friends who talk me out of being such a ninny!)

Lady Lee--you're an inspiration. Your honesty has always been so comforting to me.

Gadget--I am very glad your stress is ebbing. I have hope that when I move out some of my family stress will also go the by wayside.

Vanant--Hang in there hun! Is there a professional you talk to at all? If not, please feel free to post any rants or worries here--I've found it to be particulary helpful. If nothing else you can always PM me. I hear where you're coming from. I was there too...and as some others have pointed out--it does get better.

Azzy--(((BIG HUGS))) You're so damn cool, you don't have time to be sad do you?

Blaid--I haven't gotten a chance to properly welcome you, so "WELCOME!" I hope you figure out your mental state, and I hope it's on the positive end of the spectrum. Glad to meet ya!

Tink--You a mess?? Again, aren't you too cool to be a mess?? Hun, it actually makes me feel better to hear you say (and everyone else who posted here similar feelings) that despite all our sometimes outward appearances of "cool" we still get down, and confused, and etc. I am sure you'll pull through it tho--you're too cool not to!

Nos--Sorry to hear things are kinda bumpy for you now. (((more hugs))) I am sure you'll be another one who will pull thru! And I am sorry I bit you in the ankle before...I didn't mean it! hee hee!

talesin

On a continuum of 0-10 where 0 v. ill and 10 is reasonably healthy, let's say, I was at zero when I left the JW, and now I'm pretty much at 9/10 most of the time.

When the 'black dog' rears its ugly head, and/or flashbacks are happening, the numbers plunge. Then I just have to work my way back up.

Pretty 'normal', if you ask me.

tal

Swan

I have been really stressed out and depressed over the summer. Something is seriously wrong. I have had anxiety, jitters, startled easily, over-emotional, crying, weak spells, fatigue, spells of dizziness, and a feeling like I'm not really here,you know, kind of like I fading away from this world. I am up all night worrying and worrying. I am a mess.

My doctor increased the dose on my Effexor and prescribed a sleep aid. The sleep aid has helped. The increase in the anti-depressant hasn't kicked in yet.

Work has been very stressful. I think my bosses are trying to get rid of me. This may be paranoia, but it may also be partly based in fact. It's hard to sort out what's real and imagined. I have run out of sick leave and vacation, so had to apply for FMLA to protect my job during intermittent unpaid leave.

I feel so vulnerable sometimes, like a child unable to even to defend myself. I can't concentrate. I can't think at times.

I try to escape on the computer playing games, but as I am playing my worries keep repeating over and over. The same with housework, but at least I feel I accomplished something. Reading is good, but sometimes I can't read because I just can't make the words make any sense. TV is a okay, but my mind wanders back to my problems during the reruns and commercials. I had to limit this board almost entirely. The flame wars were getting to be too much for me to handle emotionally.

I have been thinking of suicide a lot. My counselor and husband made me promise not to, but sometimes it is very tempting when I see nothing but despair. I have struggled with the thoughts and found reasons not too. My little dog Coco would miss me so much, and I her. My damn family would say, "See there what happens to people who leave the Organization (not God, the Organization)!" I would miss the Return of the King. Funny, it's sometimes it's just those little things you have to hold onto to keep you going.

Tammy

joannadandy

Put me in Coco's camp...I'd miss you too hun!

Happythoughts

What is this a JW moan and groan session? At least the JW's don't teach that you burn in hell for your sins-NOW that is something to smile about

tinkerbell82

What is this a JW moan and groan session?

oh....my....god.....

i just cracked up for ten minuted reading this post. thanks happythoughts, i mustve burned a trillion calories from the laughing jag that sent me on.

too funny.

Piph

I've kind of been at an all-time-low for the past few months...although the last couple of weeks I've been feeling a little better. I think after the stress of the wedding and moving and all the changes...finally being able to settle in with my husband (yay, that's fun to say) and relax, no more meetings to go to, and start a part time job instead of working full time will make a big difference. I hope.

If not, to a counselor I shall go.

RAYZORBLADE

Always interesting to go back and read the replies posted on a thread like this one.

I'm always impressed with how many of you, have really 'rose above' and have healed substantially.

Of course, we all heal at different rates, and for a wide variety of reasons.

But the good thing, and I don't think this is any revelation: this site has plenty to offer.

At least you know, for the most part, people KNOW what you're talking about and can relate.

(((Joannadandy))) to my Minnesota gal, anytime...

Leddfootdja, it was a pleasure to meet you in person a few weeks ago. You've been through plenty, that's for sure, but you have proven: there is a life beyond the WTS. I hope Uncle Don keeps tellin' the folks how 'well' you're doing.

Everyone else, you serve as an inspiration to many, not only to everyone here, but those lurking.

Thanks for posting.

ESTEE

OUR MENTAL HEALTH

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