HEY! 2001 CONVENTION POINTS

by Amazing 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    The following is a recent JW advertisement about their upcoming Conventions. It can be found on the JW-media.org site under recent news. I will quote them in italics and then make my own observations.

    JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES OFFICE OF PUBLIC INFORMATION
    For Immediate Release May 18, 2001

    Bible teaching and education take center stage at three-day conventions of Jehovah's Witnesses

    Okay so far – I guess.

    Every person on the face of the earth should have a right to an education.

    Sounds good, but do they really mean what they say?

    Jehovah's Witnesses will highlight opportunities for a unique education to all who attend the "Teachers of God's Word" District Conventions that begin today in the United States and work their way through cities around the globe. From May through September, Jehovah's Witnesses will hold 189 district conventions in 62 cities throughout the United States.

    Ah Ha! Get that! Unique Education! Anything like their unique teachings?

    Prominently and repeatedly emphasized in the scheduled program are themes involving teachers, teaching, learning and education. The nearly 1.5 million who attended the conventions held in the United States last year included people of all races and age groups, from infants to the elderly.

    They sound good, but I smell a unique rat about to emerge!

    The Witnesses plan to use a number of program parts to illustrate that learning from God's Word offers a unique and beneficial opportunity.

    Ahhhh ... unique opportunity from God’s Word.

    The process culminates with the satisfaction individuals gain when they share what they have learned with other people.

    Selling (er, I mean giving away) magazines.

    On Friday, the opening day of each convention, the keynote address delivered at 11:50 a.m. invites everyone to participate in that learning process: "Jesus was not interested in conferring the key of knowledge upon an elite group of Scripture scholars. He told his disciples: 'What I tell you in the darkness, say in the light; and what you hear whispered, preach from the housetops.' Jesus ardently desired to share the knowledge of God with as many people as possible. To him, knowledge of the Scriptures was to be shared, not hidden away."

    But ... only as the Society tells you what the Scriptures mean. And what they mean is a hidden secret that only the Society can figure out and impart to JWs. Of course, all the things not disclosed to JWs are not mentioned, such as deceptive practices of Elders, shielding child molesters, etc.

    Saturday morning's program will include the baptism and ordination at 11:50 a.m.

    Okay, typical for JWs. But, I find the use of ordination a throw-back to the late 1960s. They dropped this from the early 1970s until sometime later. Now they are ordained again. I must have missed something since the early 1990s.

    A highlight on Sunday morning will be a reenactment of a Bible account featuring a cast of costumed actors.

    Cool. But After 25 years with the Big-O, I found the whole thing to be one big costumed act. But, I must say that the Dramas were always the most fun, even if they were poor lip-sinkers. I used to bring binoculars at the really big Conventions cause somehow I always ended up far behind center field, you know, where Babe Ruth like to hit them.

    Sunday afternoon the featured lecture "Who Are Teaching All Nations the Truth?" will be delivered in each location by a qualified, experienced minister.

    Good question Watch Tower Society. Surely, your organization is not doing this, so who is? And yes, please, for a change, have an experienced, educated, trained, and qualified minister and not the usual brain-dead idiots transformed by your mind-numbed robot factory in New York.

    It will be followed by closing comments that will bring the three-day accelerated Bible education program to its completion.

    The last time we heard about accelerated Bible education programs was back when the Truth Book was released. It was designed to cut down the time to convert a student to just 6 months. Why? Because Armageddon was so close, expected by 1975. We had so much work to do in such a short time! Could it be that the end is now close again, and you need to speed up the work?

    Worldwide, Jehovah's Witnesses number over 6 million and preach their message of hope in 235 lands and islands of the sea. Their administrative center is located in Brooklyn, New York.

    Administrative Center?! Oh come on Watch Tower Society, you make it sound like the world headquarters is nothing but a minor function of your religion, when in truth it is THE center of all life on earth for you.

    It is Simply Amazing

  • slipnslidemaster
    slipnslidemaster

    I remember as a kid that I always looked forward to the dramas.

    The recreation of bible events were always my favorites. Then they started switching more and more to the "modern times" dramas. I realize now looking back, that I started to dread even the dramas when I went towards the end.

    Of course, bringing a thermos full of booze help liven things up again!!

    Slipnslideius Masterus: Strength and Honor ...

  • Scorpion
    Scorpion

    A thermos full of booze, I wish I had thought of that. I am sure the Judge had a few thermos full of booze with him when he gave his discourses. Why can't the R&F have one with them?

  • slipnslidemaster
    slipnslidemaster

    We used to get pleasently wrecked sitting up high in the stadium or go out at lunch and come back to the assembly buzzed.

    This was especially true when we were underage.

    Slipnslideius Masterus: Strength and Honor ...

  • larc
    larc

    The timing of your post is verily and truely, meat in due season. I was just about ask the starting time of the up coming momentous assemblies. If I attend it will be my third visit in 30 years (I hope I'm not over doing it.) I think I will bring along a large coffee - half and half - half coffee, half bourbon. In keeping true to my own religion (self worship), I will not shave my beard to fit in. If anyone will engage me in conversation, I think I will tell them that I am a free lance writer, which is kinda sorta true, but not really. I will have to pretend that I am an investigative reporter sent by you folks to get a report. Otherwise, I won't last more than fifteen minutes into the first talk.

  • tergiversator
    tergiversator

    slipnslidemaster,

    I have to agree with you about those modern day dramas... ugh! The worst part is how all of the dramas nowadays are framed around a modern setting - there is nothing worse than some Bethelite's conception of how "normal" witness families interact than watching them all sit around their incongruous sofas out on center plate, exaggeratedly mouthing phrases like "Gee, Tim, what do you think about that?" "Golly, I never thought of that before, Dad!". The tie-ins were the worst: "You know, son, your problem with being picked on at school reminds me of the story of Elijah and the bears..."

    Am I glad I don't have to see another one ever again.

    -T., who spent her last District Convention sketching the seats in the stadium, daydreaming, and enviously watching the birds swooping and diving and generally looking like they were enjoying themselves altogether too much on those beautiful summer days...

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    G'day all,

    All this reminds me that it'll soon be District Convention time in the land of Oz.

    Now for those who can make the Superdome, how about a meeting at Armageddon Cafe?

    Cheers,

    ozzie

    Freedom is not having to wear a tie.

  • LadyBug
    LadyBug

    SM

    This brought back "fond" memories

    I remember as a kid that I always looked forward to the dramas.

    The recreation of bible events were always my favorites. Then they started switching
    more and more to the "modern times" dramas.

    Dramas were the highlight of my assemblies too until the "modern day" ones. How I hated them, but I figured they were just getting lazy. The platforms weren't as elaborate, there was no more cooking, eventually not having food available at all.

    I remember my brother and his mate used to sit away from the crowd and watch the games on a portable TV. I used to think how unspirtual. Now I look back and realise how he was actually doing himself a favor. Saving himself from becoming more braindead than necessary.

    BugEyes Wife

  • Free2Bme
    Free2Bme

    The main thing I remember about the conventions was the amount of sleeping going on!!!
    Bearing in mind the bum-numbing seating and cold and drizzle (UK of course) I don't know how we got comfy enough for snoozing but it was pretty much the done thing especially going through the Watchtower.
    I had to laugh at the mention of drink. I can remember my pal's mum whipping out a small bottle of pop at regular intervals during the meetings and assemblies. I just thought she was excessively thirsty till eventually my friend admitted her mum's Sprite was neat vodka!!
    And why do the uk assemblies always coincide with Wimbledon (or do they still) cause that's another irritation I remember.Mmmm I suppose it would have been inappropriate to ask them to slip in the odd comment on the men's finals?
    But what were the most important concerns when eagerly looking forward to the conventions?
    Er...How much can I afford to spend on new clothes/hairdos/bags/accessories because you cannot be seen in the same outfit twice?
    Er...How often dare I get out of my seat during the program to try and catch the eye of that dishy brother a few rows behind?
    Er...I wonder if someone's sorting out a night out after the program and I hope Brother Right turns up...
    Not very spiritual really was I but I was single and desperate in those days and had a one-track mind!!

    Seriously though I will be interested to hear about any new thoughts and how they are going to keep JW's stirred up about Armageddon without the Generation argument and in view of the subtle steering away from the 7000 year stuff .In fact their new policy of skating around all the important issues leaves me wondering what exactly they dare talk about anymore!!

    Free

  • LadyBug
    LadyBug

    Another thing that I really "enjoyed" at conventions was being late so we missed out on the super spiritual family "inspiring" us all with the daily text. Ugh I shudder at the memory.

    BugEyes Wife

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