Being a Rude Jerk, It's Awesome!

by Simon 22 Replies latest social family

  • Simon

    Maybe it's a British thing, but we tend to be polite. Too polite.

    Even if someone is inconsiderate, we apologize as though we did something wrong.

    Prime offenders? People in supermarkets, specifically Costco.

    They have nice wide isles and yet somehow, for some reason, some idiot will find a way to put their trolley sideways and keep a hand on it while reaching for something, thus blocking the entire isle.

    Or another favorite ... you're going through the entrance and someone just stops, maybe to answer their phone.

    How about you wait in a queue at a checkout for ages and when it's their turn, then they start looking for their purse.

    How many times have you thought "idiot" or muttered under your breath?

    I started using my outside voice, it's fucking awesome.

    "wow, you managed to block the entire isle, good job!"

    "here's an idea - move! Can you not walk and talk at the same time?"

    "did you not think you were going to have to pay?"

    You don't even have to talk - just crash into someone else's trolley and drive it out of the way or just push it down the isle. Stepping outside the social norm seems to leave people really puzzled.

    It's my new favorite hobby. Maybe I'm just getting old, but it's really funny.

  • JWdaughter

    I never thought of Brits as being too polite. They are usually just rude in a smug supercilious way. I never thought you were too polite specifically, and forget that you are British. You are an immigrant to Canada, right?

    I'm glad that you are having fun being rude out loud IRL to those who are rude to you. I can see that giving you hours of endless amusement.

  • Simon

    Yes, I'm an import. British Canadian. so "Sorry, eh!"

    Actually, I think age might not be an excuse. I just have a very low tolerance for stupid.

    Years ago, we're parked at the very top of the multi-story car-park in Llandudno, enjoying the sun on our face. The elevator door open and we go to get in ... but we can't, because people are in there, but not getting out. Do they not know how the magical tiny-room works?

    "oh, are we at the top?" one says, peering out.

    "Yes", I said, "hence the sky"

    I think I actually did it in the style of Basil Fawlty ("the sea? it's over there between the land and the sky")

    We do tend to be overly polite though - if we walk into an inanimate object we'll often apologize to it.

  • GrreatTeacher

    It's not Costco, but the road where I'm becoming less and less patient.

    With my new 45 minute commute in horrendous traffic I just get livid when the light turns green and the doofus in front of me is texting on their phone instead of paying attention to traffic!

    Hesitate for a second and other cars jump in front and you're sitting at the same damn light for another cycle.

    Usually, commuters are good at commuting. They know which lanes to get in, they know to keep up the pace, they know when the light turns green to go, they know how to merge smoothly.

    Then you get a shmuck who acts like they're on a Sunday drive and they jusy mess up the whole commuting machine. Then my commute stretches for an hour or more and, times 2, I'm living in my car for 2 hours a day!

    Please, if you're not a commuter, stay away from rush hour!!! You and we and everybody will get there faster, and probably have lower blood pressure too!

  • Dreamerdude

    I'm getting to be a grumpy old man, too. Sometimes it's fun to see the reaction I get when I speak my mind, especially when it has merit.

  • Simon

    I should add, I'm more comic than aggressive - but it's amazing what you can say and do it you do it with a smile and make people laugh.

    I am patient with people who genuinely need patience, I just hate people who are inconsiderate (yeah, we'll stop to chin-wag right in the entrance, look at people waiting and just carry on).

  • Simon
    With my new 45 minute commute in horrendous traffic I just get livid when the light turns green and the doofus in front of me is texting on their phone instead of paying attention to traffic!

    Yeah, I hate the people dicking around with their phone when they should be driving. Almost as bad as the ones that drive 80 when the limit is 100, but then when you get to a town and should go 60, they are still going 80 ... being "slow", not "careful" (but all the cops focus on is speed).

    I actually wind the window down and tell people to put their phone away or, if they are on the highway, wait till they're staring at their lap, pull alongside and sound my horn and watch them shit themselves.

  • GrreatTeacher

    The honk and shit; I love it!

    Will try that one out soon.

    Or maybe not. I wouldn't want to get shot.

  • Simon

    Yeah, Brits / Canadians generally tend to be less "shooty". If I was in America, I'd probably just wave and say "have a nice day !" with a sickly grin.

  • GrreatTeacher

    That's my usual m.o. which can be surprisingly infuriating to people. Waving at them like a long lost friend to that idiot behind you who's riding your ass, then slowing down like you're ready to stop and catch up with an old friend tends to drive them batty.

    It's also usually effective to just slam on the breaks when the guy behind you is riding your ass, flashing their lights for you to give way, and doing this when you are already speeding in the fast lane and there is nowhere else to go. I call that entitlement and feel like they're entitled to a break check. The nicer the car, the more sure you can be that they'll make it a point to avoid hitting you.

    But, when they finally get around you, you can count on a big old flip of the bird!

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