Questions from a non JW

by shiloh 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • shiloh
    shiloh

    I have a couple of questions that have come to mind as a result of converstations with my JW girlfriend. 1. We were talking the other day and got on the subject of Disfellowshipping and I asked her if she thought it was right. I also asked her about people who had been DF'd for something that the WT has since received "new light" on and thus, had been DF'd for something that the WT is now teaching is okay. I specifically asked if those DF'd people were let back in. Her answer was kinda vague, she said "Oh the elders are in constant contact with anyone who is DF'd and they are always checking on them to be sure they are okay.". She never really answered my question but I'm curious if her answer is correct. Do the elders keep in touch with DF'd people? I'm not implying that she's lying to me or anything but I wonder if she's been told something that isn't true. 2. She has been living in another country for the past several years and it was during this time that she became a Witness. She has expressed that she really enjoyed the social aspect of the org. in the country where she lived and that the people were really great. She's been in the States for a while now and hasn't been attending any meetings. When I asked her why not, she told me that she went once and that she felt like she was suffocating in the Kingdom Hall. Like she was drowning. She also indicated that she had gone to another meeting (in a different state) some years ago when she was visiting and had the same feeling. Her specific quote was "I felt like I was surrounded by Mormons". Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Are the congregations in other countries different? More liberal or something due to thier distance from Bethel?

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    Shiloh that comment she made about feeling like she was surrounded by Mormons was really offensive to me, Morons maybe but never Mormons....sheesh.

    Go to the links section at the bottom of JWD opening page or check out freeminds and you'll find tons of info.

    Blondie is also a whiz at producing upto date relevent info on every WT subject.

    Welcome BTW

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    The elders are supposed to visit df'd persons once a year. In practice, this rarely happens. Hell, they don't even visit their own congregation members once a year.

    As for the social aspect of the organization, she is probably right. Years ago in Canada and the U.S., the congs were much more friendly and open. However, over the years, gradually everything became banned - social events became the subject of much counsel, so they gradually became more sterile and less frequent. You can likely find a more active JW social life in areas where the work is newer, or in more ethnic or diverse areas.

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    Oh the elders are in constant contact with anyone who is DF'd and they are always checking on them to be sure they are okay.".

    to answer question 1 , hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, sorry lost it for a minute, elders can't even visit their own family, let alone df'd ones, I was out 5 years before anyone even called me, and then the only reason they called was because I was moving 2000 miles, probaly didn't want me hooking up in a new congregation.

    to answer question 2, I have heard this comment SO MANY times, how the congregations outside the USA/Canada are much more socialable, enjoyable, and not so strict on every litttle thing. So much more laid back. Like only in the USA/Canada are they so concerned about the car you drive, the job you have, attendance, hours put in, who you talk to, who you socialize with, what clothes you wear, etc. etc. etc. , who cares, probaly will be their downfall.

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk

    BTW, welcome to the board !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    I have a couple of questions that have come to mind as a result of converstations with my JW girlfriend

    not to cause a fight, but it is a big no no to date someone who is NOT a JW, one of those unwritten rules they have, would you dare ask her that question ??? Does she think that she will convert YOU when push comes to shove ??? just a thought, speaking from so many experiences.

    If she was to go to the elders and say she is going out with someone who is not a JW, sh-- will hit the roof at the Kingdom Hall. Especially in the USA/Canada.

  • shiloh
    shiloh

    RDW,

    Please forgive any formatting craziness in this post. I haven't figured that part out completely.


    "not to cause a fight, but it is a big no no to date someone who is NOT a JW, one of those unwritten rules they have, would you dare ask her that question ??? Does she think that she will convert YOU when push comes to shove ??? just a thought, speaking from so many experiences.

    If she was to go to the elders and say she is going out with someone who is not a JW, sh-- will hit the roof at the Kingdom Hall. Especially in the USA/Canada."

    Well, I guess I am actually aware of that fact but it doesn't seem to bother her at all. In fact, she doesn't seem to be bothered by alot things that I've always understood to be major no-no's to the JW's. I get the impression that she really only joined because she was lonely over there and that the social aspects of the Org were what she was attracted to. She even made the comment that she really had fun at meetings "after we were done studying bible stuff". She's only had a taste of the Org in the U.S., I guess, and the results were not what she expected. Along the way, through the socializing though, she's bought into many of the beliefs.

    When we first started dating and I found out she was a JW I started doing a fair amount of research (open mindedly too) into the doctrines and practices. I can't say that I think that the WT is God's channel after reading the things that I've read both here and in other places around the web. My first inclination has been to try and show her some of this stuff in an attempt to get her out of it but since she really isn't practicing, I haven't felt the need to really try. My own religious convictions are somewhat agnostic at the moment and so her being a JW is not a big deal to me.

    The only thing that worries me, is the blood issue. I asked her the other day if she would refuse blood if she needed it and she said "probably". She means the world to me and the thought of having to stand by and watch her die because of something like the JW's policy on blood would probably be more than I could bear. Based on her rather lax adherance to other doctrinal issues of the WT, I'm hopeful that I might be able to convince her that the blood issue, at least, is questioned (albeit no openly) by other JW's and that there might be hope of a change of heart on this particular point.

    She trusts me and I think she'll listen but I'm still concerned that she'll take a defensive and reactionary stance to anything I might say.

  • sens
    sens
    Oh the elders are in constant contact with anyone who is DF'd and they are always checking on them to be sure they are okay

    I doubt seriously its to check they are ok...and Its not constant. Im not saying she is trying to make em look good, i think she is just mislead like alot of jw's

    Go to this site, and listen to the elders in action ( Specialty tape section) :

    http://www.jwinfoline.com/Page/audio.htm

    Also too you might find heaps of answers to some questions, although some of the mp3's on there are abit 'born-againish'...I just ignore most of that, but there is some good stuff there as well.

    3 Sens 4

  • blondie
    blondie

    Blondie is going on vacation. For those without a WT-CD, I love this site:

    http://quotes.jehovahswitnesses.com/

    The elders are not in constant contact with DF'd people. After people have been DF'd a year, the elders can make a call on them "once a year" only. But most will not do this. Actually, the elders I know hate doing it. Any contact other than that must be limited and only with the elders on their original committee, e.g., a letter requesting to be reinstated.

    Otherwise, Shiloh, the blood issue is well discussed here:

    http://www.ajwrb.org/

    Happy researching.

    Blondie

  • garybuss
    garybuss



    When I quit associating the elders checked with me every week. When I was inactive and in the hospital for two weeks on two different occasions, they visited me every day and the elder's wives looked in on my wife and our four small children to be sure they were okay and brought cooked meals to her and helped her with the children. The Ministerial Servants all pitched in and mowed my lawn and took care of my business while I was sick.

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