Now That We've Stopped Meetings, What Should We Expect??? (page 5)

blondie

I look pretty much the same since I stopped going, no nose ring or tattoo. But my husband has grown a beard too, min. He gets looks from the bros/sis. It is a sure sign to some that you have gone over to the other side. One brother pointed out to him that if he went to the meeting that the brothers would be talking to him about that beard. My hubbie said, then if I want to go to the meetings I have to shave the beard off? The brother started sputtering, no, no, we want you to be at the meeting.

What a bunch of dorks!

Blondie

Special K

Hey minimus

Glad to hear you have gradually made the mental break from the J.W.'s and your wife, TOO!! Wonderful!!

How you choose to leave now will be a decision that both your wife and yourself have to discuss in some depth.

Writing down or discussing together the pro's of each way of leaving is good.

If you still have extended family in the JW religion can also be a factor.

But please do it the way it is best for you and your wife. J.W.'s are always taught to think about others first and Jehovah first.

This is one time you have to think of you first and of course your wife as well.

Good for you, minimus.. all your posts, and topics makes me think you are a wise and intelligent man and that probably inside you already might know how you might wish to exit this religion.

Thanks for all your support to us here and it's nice to know that we can now be of some support to you in your decisions on this.

and I really enjoy your thought provoking topics.

sincerely

Special K

minimus

My wife's best friend talked to her this morning and hung up hysterically crying after my wife told her she didn't "feel qualified" to study with anyone again. Her friend knows she's not going to meetings now and started bawling her eyes out. We're going to have to talk to her this weekend.

minimus

This weekend there were 2 messages left by 2 sisters, telling us how we are very much "missed", and one said, "We miss your smiling faces".......No telephone messages from elders yet.

drwtsn32

minimus: It took two or three months before we heard from the elders after we suddenly stopped going. Actually one did call a few weeks after we stopped, but only to ask for our service time.

It took only a few weeks for untrue rumors that we had been DF'd for apostasy to spread hundreds of miles away.

It has been almost a year now, and we have only been visited once by the elders. We had two other couples stop by to see how we were doing. The rest apparently could either care less or are afraid of us.

It didn't really bug me that the elders took so long to contact us; I don't want to talk to them anyway!

minimus

Here's the kicker. I have one elder friend that comes by my work, chit chats, and makes arrangements to socialize with me and my wife. He and his wife are committed to going to my daughter's wedding. But he "never goes there" when it comes time to ask me direct questions about our plans as JW's.

xandra360

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to add my experience. I wasn't living at home when I decided to stop going to meetings. Once I'd made the decision though on going back home, I told one elder who was a good friend of mine and explained my reasons for doing it. At the time I thought it would be a temporary thing for about a year or so to sort my head out. Its been almost 4 years now and I've no intention of returning. Anyway, he was really good about it, and thanked me for telling me, even commenting that I wasn't obligated to give any reason as its a personal choice. In my case, I had been suffering from depression for several years and my meeting attendance was very erratic anyway so maybe he was kinder to me because of that.

Anyway, if I meet JWs now, I always tell them straight up if they ask me that I no longer attend meetings. I don't see why I should have to hide or be embarrassed about making an informed choice. Deciding to leave a religion that you sincerely thought was the truth and have devoted most of your life to is never an easy decision and anyone who really knew me in home congregation knew what type of person I am and that I would only undertake the decision after giving it serious consideration.

I've found that my close friends who are still JW have remained close (two in particular). I think they live in hope that I'll change my mind, but they both know I'm much happier now than I was when I was in the Borg. My oldest friend, who is an elder's wife, did say that I wouldn't be allowed to visit her anymore, which really hurt at the time. But I just finished reading Crisis of Conscience today and it has done a lot to help me sever my emotional ties with that religion.

I think you should do whatever you feel able to do. Eventually you'll get to a point when you're ready to make a clean break. Don't force things, you're taking a big step and should give yourself all the suppport you need, even if it must come from people still in the Borg. You'll be able to separate from them when the time is right.

All the best,

xandra360

minimus

xandra, WELCOME!.....Thankfully most of my friends are "normal", that is, they aren't JW's. My wife had a couple of very close friends that are active Witnesses. They seem to have kept away from her lately. No regular phone calls every day, no weekly seeing each other...It's more sporadic. But the good thing is she's getting back with her family.

Now That We've Stopped Meetings, What Should We Expect???

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