Wow..... blech
So sad and true.
Now That We've Stopped Meetings, What Should We Expect???
by minimus 47 Replies latest jw friends
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obiwan
Well, since you were an elder... they will interrogate you for months till they find thier "truth".
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JT
PERSONALLY i always recommend leaving quietly for a number of reasons
it gives you time to build a new clientle of friends, it gives you the NEEDED TIME TO BUILD YOURSELF UP MENTALLY, and it keeps the families ties "SOMEWHAT" INTACT until you ARE READY
it will then reach the point that the Cheese and Cracker Men don't matter- the fear will be gone, and in fact you will laugh and feel sorry for the poor souls
in my exp most former jw are not ready or prepared for the backlash if they go cold turkey
if one can deal with it THEN DO IT, but to me it;s like after all these years of pain, i can do with out anymore-
then one reaches the point that IF you want to write a letter cool cause then the parts of your life will have started to fall in place-
i look at myself we faded and for us it was the best thing to do, NOW if the jw want to do something we could care less-
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undercover
I personally had two elder visits, one of which went badly. Not my fault. The one elder was a pompous ass and after years of not reacting to his bullying, I finally let loose on him. After all he was in my house. I don't take shit from nobody in my house. The second visit was a good visit with an elder who is also a friend. We discussed my "doubts" and he promised to do research and get back. Haven't heard a peep since. Either he's busy building a case against me or, as a friend, he will just let me slide on out without a fight. I haven't figured out which yet.
I've been all for laying low and fading away gradually and I think I have done a pretty good job of it. But something still bothers me at times. I'll go a while and be enjoying my new freedom and then I start to dwell on the situation all over and I feel that something is incomplete. Maybe I need some kind of closure. Maybe I need to confront people and let them know where I stand. Of course, that leads to a whole new set of problems. I'd like to stay friends with certain ones and of course keep my family ties. If I confront anyone and argue against the "truth" being the truth, I will lose that. But at the same time, I want to just lay it all on the line and let the chips fall where they will.
While I have had no problem adjusting to not having to live as a JW and deal with their schedules and routines or believe things that don't make sense, I feel like I'm in limbo, between being a JW and being completely free of their influence. So the internal struggle continues.
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Winston Smith :>D
Hey Min!
2. Elders will be round almost every week wanting to 'talk' to you.
Ignored One
Yup, that's what I'm getting now.
as Shera and you have said, N O T H I N G is the way to go if it works. Plead the 5th. Otherwise, I just outright lie and tell them what they want to believe. I've failed doing this a few times and have said nothing, thinking that would be enough. But at times they have pressed hard on me to give them an answer and I still stayed nuetral in my answers, and maybe have raised red flags.
When they asked me if I thought if the WTS was the the might jehover's F&DS, I wish I gave this answer that amac gave me:
"If they claim to be the F&DS, who am I to say otherwise? As long as they are taking the spiritual lead and what they say is in accord with God's word, then I will follow their direction."
amac
Otherwise, maybe if you have your family free from the borg, then just refuse to meet with them, or delay it indefinitely. The only reason that I am playing their game is to buy time to get my wife out. Otherwise, I'd just let them DF me tomorrow.
Best of luck,
Winston.
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unique1
You can SUCESSFULLY turn down an offer to visit you in your home or at the hall. I have been offered a sheparding call twice and turned down bothe sucessfully. The question: When would be a good time for me and bro. ___ to stop by and have a chat with you and your husband? Reply: I really don't want a visit. Their Counter Reply: Well we just want to encourage everyone we can, we all need encouragement you know. My Counter Reply: I understand and appreciate your concern for me but I really just don't want a visit. Their reply: Well it is entirely up to you.
They may offer to do the visit at the KH or at their house as well, but you can just decline. It is easy once you do it. GOOD LUCK!!
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Carmel
Tell the turkeys you would love to have their "unconditional" friendship as Jesus would have expressed but that you will not accept conditioned love. If they cannot give the former, forget the latter and dust your feet off!
carmel
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Winston Smith :>D
Good points from Amazing.
It does really come down to if you want to be DF'd, DA'd, or delay any JC decisions and just fade.
JT had some good points too. Get a good support group of friends and loved ones together for you and your family. Then when the hammer drops, [which i think it should IMHO for closure when one is ready] you couldn't care less what these cheese & cracker men do. You and your family will have a life outside of the Borg, so what do you care?
Remember when we were active JW's and started a Bible Study, and then the
victimBible student started to progress so that they were coming to meetings? What were we encouraged to do? Get many different people to sit in on the study, invite thevictimBible Study to social gatherings, have different ones talk to them at the KH.All of it was an effort for us JW's to build up a group of family and friends that loved them [a.k.a. 'love-bombing'] that the
victimBible study could fall back on when they finally had to cut off all ties with those not in the Troof.Just work the WTS indoctrination in reverse. It's a steady, slow, drawn out process, but what was done now has to be undone.
Otherwise if you don't care and all of your loved ones are free and you no longer need the peeps at the KH; then pull the six-shooters out and go out in a blaze of glory!
[think: the end scene of 'Young Guns' #1]
Bam! Pow! Ka-boom!
Winston.
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Red Witch
I plan on telling them , as Sgt. Shultz would say, "N O T H I N G "...............I plan on saying, "Sorry, but I'm not answering any questions. Period." I have been out for 25yrs. There will always be someone who will try to corner you. Recently my Dad (elder) tried to corner me and so did one of my sisters. I simply refused to discuss it. My sister just called me a coward and misc other names. My Dad got frustrated and kept trying to force my into conversation (this was over the phone) I just kept to my guns and repeated "How I feel about it all is personal, I understand how you might feel, but it's this is not up for discussion" I would then change the subject until he was worn out. The problem with those who contact you is they are trying to make sure they have a clear conscience. I think it is purely done out of their own self interest in making sure they gain "the prize". So they look good and have no loose ends for anyone else in the org to pick at. My Mother another time asked if I ever got baptised. !!??!! I was insulted they didn't remember. I just threw it back on her asking if she remembered whether I did or not, after all I would have been living in their house at the time as I would of been a minor and besides she had told me previously that I was never a "good witness" after I moved out. Once again, this just drove her to distraction and she kept talking in circles trying to get some sort of statement out of me. So, from my experience, your best bet is to say NOTHING! It does seem to drive the witnesses nuts if they cannot percieve you along with everything/everybody in black and white. Gives me a great deal of satisfaction when I see they cannot judge me. I wouldn't hide or avoid them, just be unapproachable and private. You have every right to simply walk away and have peace. It's up to you to maintain that peace. An don't say Sorry that comes across as weak and an opportunity to dig and poke more at you. Many Blessings! RedWitch
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Panda
Smile that sly "elder nice guy" smile. And tell them, " No I don't want a visit...No I don't want a visit ...No I don't want a visit...."
Don't return their phone calls. The more you arm yourself with that smile and the word NO , the more peaceful your leaving will be.
They'll especially hound you on saturday AM and during the CO's visit. So make yourself scarce, go to a movie..
Take care we all support you --- Panda