Thought we could all share a few of our favorites...here's one I'm fond of....
"Chaps my grits" is a Southern colloquialism, referring
to.....well, I guess you better know what grits is
first....grits refers to your butt....how do I know
that?...grits resemble sand before they're cooked
and too many grits too frequently over a long period of
time will make my butt resemble two bags full of sand.....
AND grit is indicative of one's presence and chutzpah, stamina or determination, so-to-speak...you only hafta *see* a pot full of cold grits to realize how....solid....they become..
Now to chap one's grits is to give one's "grits" a red hot case of somethin' like "jock itch"...which will make you walk funny...kinda like you got a red hot poker stuck
up yer butt....this is a good substitute for
that which you need to make your spine ramrod straight
and anybody knows that a good case of something like
"jock itch" that won't go away can eventually make you
go ballistic, but even if you *do* walk funny
because of the "jock itch" thang, you'll walk upright,
with dignity and hopefully aim that ballistic attitude
in the right direction.....unless you don't have much
"grits" in your sandbags....in which case, you better
not let your alligator mouth overload yer humminbird behind.....
Frannie B
