Taking the Step

by beardfreedom 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Onager

    "I feel like I am cutting anchor and drifting on an unknown current,"

    It's important to understand that you have been conditioned to feel this way. Your model of reality has been twisted. An impression has been planted into your mind that inside the JW organisation is safe and outside is bad.

    It is a lie.

    You have accepted the lie, just as so many other intelligent people have, not because of a failing on your part. It's not because you're dumb! Smarter people than you and I are Scientologists, for example, believing things that are even more at odds with reality.

    If a person is isolated, as JW's are, then a filter can be introduced between that person and reality. Everything they perceive is processed through the filter. I was out walking with a friend once and I pointed at a hillside and said "look at all those beautiful bluebells" to which he replied "What are you talking about? There's nothing there." He was wearing glasses with blue tinted lenses and he actually couldn't see the flowers! (True story).

    It has become my personal mission since leaving the JW's to remove all the filters and get as accurate a model of reality as I can. One thing that I can say is that it's not easy but, in my opinion, it makes life worth living.

  • Darkknight757

    Rip the bandaid and go. It's the best decision the wife and I made. Yea we lost family and yes we lost (conditional) friends but you will make more. Further you will see that the people of "the world" will take you in and show you a love that the J-dumbs never could or did.

    As the Nike ad goes, "Just Do It!!"

  • Drifting Away
    Drifting Away

    Welcome Beardfreedom. I am also in the same boat as you, Been inactive for about 7 months now. It is still and adjustment and will def, take time. I plan on celebrating my first Christmas this year,(very small celebration), in fact I am listening to Christmas music as I type this haha..Anyway, Me and my wife have had many crying nights, praying for answers, and we have still not been to a meeting, so I am guessing we are doing the right thing. I feel great , dont feel guilty about anything anymore. I Just want to be a good person and do something positive on this earth, and not knock on peoples doors on saturday mornings, and fake that I am a happy person (when I was in).I am def. happier now. I have family still in which is why I did not DA myself. But now that I plan on celebrating birthdays and holidays, It may just be a matter of time, before the noseys start calling me or stopping by, ready to pounce like a wolf. But again, welcome, and feel free to ask questions..

  • naazira

    Welcome and thanks for posting! 👍☺

  • freemindfade

    It does get easier, and getting to find some real friends in this community is a huge help

  • longgone

    I was born in as well and just left recently, I I haven't gone to a meeting since early Spring. I have to say at times it was hard. Barely though, maybe 2% of the time. That's only because of my in family, I received some excellent suggestions about how to fade successfully here. I'm fairly confident that all will be well in that area if I'm careful.

    I've never been truly happy until leaving the mind control the GB excels at. I am now! My daughter said "It's like life is blossoming for you Mom!"

    I always thought it was my fault , now I know for a fact it was the cult. It's a joyless life they impose on people. I feel so light for many reasons, especially because the FOG is something of the past. The life you will choose, not the WTS, is amazing!

  • steve2

    Growing up and taking hold of the normal demands and responsibilities of adulthood is not easy for anyone, JW or not. It's just that some aspects of taking hold of personal responsibility are alien to those raised in a group that damns thinking for oneself and casts as "selfish" and "bad" doing so.

    The day they kicked me out of the kingdom hall all these many years ago, was the day I realized I needed to grow up and take responsibility for my life. It was like a painful new birth and there were days when it would have just been easier to submit to the organization's authority. But, over the years, those days have become fewer and fewer.

    Yes, I can still feel a sudden surge of powerful emotion when I catch a glimpse of some JW I knew from way back - or I think I see them out door-knocking (which seems to happen less and less!), but that is normal: You cannot leave a tightly controlled and judgemental group and there be no trace.

    Growing up and taking responsibility is incredibly hard but the alternative is far, far worse.

  • ssn587

    When I left I just walked out of a meeting and have never gone back, and have never missed it, nor have I missed the supposed "friends" there. They the elders anyway never came by except the COBE one time. I had been out mentally for years prior only staying to support the wife, after her passing, I attended two meetings then bam I was gone. My daughter who never bought the bs was very happy about it. Best thing I could have done.

  • Absolutesbeginners

    Good luck !!

    Close the umbrella !! i love this image , everything is inside !!

  • Vidiot

    beardfreedom - "...the things i have learned here have gradually helped to open my eyes..."

    Happens that way for a lot of us.

    Others, just coming here for confirmation.

    Either is fine.

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