As an elder or MS, how did you NOT see it, or did you just fake it ???

by run dont walk 14 Replies latest social entertainment

  • willyloman

    Good question! Despite what Dimples said, above, it's not about money. Being an elder costs you money, in fact, because you're on display at all times and you have to "take the lead" in expending your energy and resources. There is some psychological "pay" in that you hold a position of authority and many look up to you because of it. As one brother said, if you're going to do this, you might as well be an elder; at least that way, you get something tangible out of it while you're alive.

    I used to think that, too, but lately I haven't been getting anything out of it except a guilty conscience for having to verbally support what I now perceive to be a lot of crap. I've been hanging in because of some misguided belief that I can help others by being a buffer between the publishers and the hardline elders who rule most congregations. However, I am beginning to see the futility in that.

    The answer to your question, how did you not see it?, is that I DID see it, but I explained it away. You do that, you know, if you are immersed in something and can't see the forest for the trees. Eventually for most elders, I believe, the explanations stop holding water but by then there are family and business/financial obligations that make it difficult or impossible to slip away. It's at that point, to deal with the rest of your question, that some elders begin to "fake it."

    That's where I am now but I don't like doing it, so I plan to stop pretty soon.

    Meanwhile, I hope you won't judge me harshly. I did some things I'm ashamed of, in retrospect, but I suppose we all have. I did the best I could and I always tried to be more of a comfort than a nuisance.

  • minimus

    You simply ignore things and HOPE that you just don't understand. Maybe "the Slave" knows something we don't. Eventually, it becomes too obvious and undeniable. Everything clicks. The unfairness of things, the false prophecies, the lack of genuine love......and you just can't ignore it anymore. When elders and servants are appointed, it is a moment of pride for these men and their families. There might be a special honor that one is accorded. But as the novelty wears off, you can't play make believe any longer. So you resign.

  • stillajwexelder

    perfectly said minimus -- exactly how I felt

  • frenchbabyface

    because they like the POWER they have. I also believe even though they deny it....that they are getting money for what they do.
    Some how, some way....they are getting PAID!!!
    the POWER they have : I still do remember the look in their eyes giving stupid counsels and having poor people just like kids in front of them … That was so disgusting … FOR THE TRUE EVIL ONCES : GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS … RUN AWAY ! FAITHFULL ONCES … SHUT YOUR EARS !

    privileges means lots of ways to get paid (no money needed)

    For the faithfull Elders onces : it’s all about Jehovah will provide or will take care or wathever (whatever you say against Elders and different stuff ... always the same old answer ... don't care about that ... Just think about Jéhovah)

    And I definitely did like the way they were treating my mother (alone with 5 kids working from 9 PM to 7 AM) how could she following the rules and attempting all the meetings needs ! they still was talking hard to her in front of everyone eyes who was like … Wooooo she’s bbbbbbbab ! But didn’t think a minute to give a hand !

    I myself always wonder how comes that nice and kind brothers never became Elders, and that most of the
    weirdos became elders very fast … For Example one of my brother in law is one, and have been an elder after only 5 years (time before baptised included) never have been married before, Never have been a father, no psychology study at all What kind of counsels can this guy give to anyone

  • Withoutwings

    At the congregation I went to it was all about the power. The Elders there felt a sick need to control the congregation and look down their noses at the people who weren't as wealthy as them. It's funny because at my old Hall all of the elders were wealthy. They weren't wealthy by making money off of the religion. They made thier money in other ways. For example one of them was a stock broker and embezzled a lot of peoples money. He is out of jail and has a position in the hall. All the while he and the rest of his family - all the men being elders harshly pass judgement on everyone else while their children are sneaking out of the house, doing drugs, having sex, etc and don't even get a slap on the wrist. It's really sad.

    My friend was disfellowshipped for about a year and she came back. They made her study with the above mentioned Elder's wife who talked down to her like she was an insignifgant peon. Many times she would be lecturing my friend while her husband was passed out drunk in the living room, their son was having sex with his girlfriend and the daughter was out with the neighbors. And that's they way most of the Elders were.

    Most of the ministerial servants were teenage and twenty something boys leading double lives which everyone knew about, and yet nothing was done.

    And when I left to go to a new hall...which ultimately led to me just giving up, I asked the elders I was meeting with to take an interest in my brothers or they were going to lose them. They never did. One brother still goes because he lives at home with mom and she makes him. He hates it. The other brother had enough when he was 16 and told my mom he was gay, at which point she through him out of the house. He then turned to drugs and a slew of bad relationships with older men. He's doing ok, but it was bad for a while. The one elder at the congregation who wasn't corrupt asked three different people to study with my brother that still lives at home. None of them would do it. There's nothing wrong with my brother...they just didn't want to.

    any insight?

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