I'm a very positive person who always try to focus on the good side of things.
However, my fading is becoming increasingly painful and I'm starting being shunned by some I thought were friends. I'm missing some meetings so the rumour is spreading to neighbouring congregations where I'm known that I'm not as spiritual as I used to be. Elders want to have a shepherding meeting with me. Last meeting one of them was asking me personal questions like if I'm getting along with bad associations or if I'm hidding something.
At the same time, things outside the Org are not going exactly as I had planned. I'm doing job interviews to move from where I live and I'm being asked many times why I got my degree so late. Got some feedback from one of the companies I was interested and told me I was not selected because of my age (almost 30) and not having enough experience despite having done it well in the process.
Regarding meeting new people, I find it so hard. I keep trying to go to different activities but I'm starting to feel a bit alone recently. Yesterday I went to have dinner with some brothers but that feeling of loneliness was even greater, sitting there and having to listen to JW conversations about how fast the Ends is approaching or how incredible the JW.ORG videos are.
I hadn't experienced that feeling until now but it's quite depressing to look back in your life, when you were in your 20s and wasting so much time instead of doing something useful for your future.
I guess I just needed to rant about it.