Good strategy?

by Olig 12 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Olig

    So obviously the best way to leave properly is fading, that's a given I would have thought?

    However I'm in a situation where I'm not sure what to do... I've just left home, nobody bar my parents / gparents know my address. At my parents request they asked if I would switch my cards over to the closer kingdom hall. I text my 'favourite' elder and asked for this, however never received a reply in over 3 weeks. I've just changed my number.

    I've not been to a single meeting in over 2 months now, not put any reports in, nothing. And have so far had no repercussions? My mum hasn't said anything that anyone's said to them. I said she could say I moved out to people, but not my address.

    Would I be wise to go to a couple meetings now and then? Or just carry on cold turkey as nobody knows my address or new number. I'll be honest not sure if I'll fit in my suit...


  • cofty

    Don't go. If an elder takes an interest in looking out for you they have power over you again. You are currently in the perfect position. Do nothing. Think up a good excuse in case your mum starts asking questions. Good luck.

  • Biahi

    In 1983, I moved 30 miles away, no cell phones then. Stopped cold turkey when I moved. Months later (must have been the circuit overseers visit), my dad called and said the elders wanted to talk to me. I told him in no uncertain terms if he gave them my number, I would tell them to go F**k themselves. He was an elder too, he told them to leave me alone. They did. End of story. Semi shunned by some (not close) relatives, not shunned by anyone who matters.

  • stillin

    How do you know that your card hasn't been sent to the new KH? They don't send it to you. They are often very slow about doing this. Sometimes they compose a little run-down about what kind of person they think you are, just to give the new BoE some "insight" about you.

  • Olig

    Thanks for the advice, I'll just wait and see if mum says owt to me, she still thinks I'm going to this other congregation. I agreed I'd "try it" for a period of time before I committed to leave. It's coming towards the end of this time, so when it's ended I'll have a word and see if anything has been said in my old cong

  • tiki

    Why fuss over a piece of heavy stock paper that has absolutely no significance in the grand scheme of things.....enjoy your new found freedom.

  • truth_b_known

    I moved to another state. Had my publisher card mailed to the new congregation secretary. I attended maybe 2 meetings. I had a visit or two from and elder w/ the circuit overseer to "encourage" me to attended the meeting on Sunday. That was it.

    The new congregation was busting at the seams. I think there was 1 English and 2 Spanish congregations using the same Kingdom Hall. This is the fasted growing area in the United States. I am sure it was impossible for the elders to keep up with everything going on.

    Don't rock the boat. If no one is reaching out to you, let it go and get on with your life.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    When off the radar, stay off the radar. Don't talk about it and don't poke the hive by attending.

  • Giordano

    Olig it is in your long term interest to succeed in exiting the JW world in a peaceful manner especially with close family members intact....if possible.

    By way of review............ your steps out have been impressive. You have moved and kept your contact information private.......... at least for a time. The longer your away from the JW 'norm' the stronger you will become.

    Always mention, if questioned, or volunteer when proper, that you are in constant daily prayer with Jehovah and his son Jesus and at this time you feel spiritually nurtured. However should you need help you would contact an Elder.

    Present a confident exterior but not egocentric. Your not a know it all.......... on the contrary, you are learning every day, that you need a relationship with Jehovah (Yes....... It's theocratic warfare).

    Above all do not share the truth about the truth you have learned.......just about all JW's and just about anyone who believes in a high control religion can and will suffer from cognitive dissonance. This is what brings out the anger, disappointment, confusion......... a whole bunch of negative reactions from believers towards you.

    ' Cognitive dissonance refers to a situation involving conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviors'.

    Your family & close friends, who are believers, can not entertain two different point of views about their beliefs.

    Unless your parents or other relatives start to wake up they will not be receptive to your version of their 'truth'. The fear of an apostate is greater then the fear about JW pedophiles, Elders who sin and congregants who commit serious crimes. They can all be forgiven if repentant........the apostate can not.

    Should a situation come about that you are compelled to discuss what has stumbled you........ the JW sexual child abuse issue is that issue. It has been documented by news reports from non apostate sites.

    The information was explored by the Australian Royal Commission or ARC. That the JW organization has been mishandling their pedophile problem for decades.

    Under oath: Governing Body member Geoffrey Jackson......... fundamentally lied.

    The 'Fall guy' on this forum provided us with a Highlight reel of Brother Jackson's style of truth speak:

    You may have to copy and past this address.

    Best of........


  • Incognigo Montoya
    Incognigo Montoya

    I will offer a peice of advice aside from what you're asking. If you haven't already, seek out friends. Form some relationships with individuals who share a common interest. A huge help in your psychological and physical transition away from your JW upbringing.

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