My new life...

by Jaidubdub 3 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Jaidubdub

    Hi all, this site helped me wake up and a BIG thank you to all who participated. Just want to give you all an update of how things have changed (for the better). Pls excuse the long post...

    I was a born in 3rd generation (on my mums side). I experienced a lot of unfair and harsh treatment from the elders and so-called spiritual jw's for many years which did not sit well with me, I knew there was something wrong with this religion. I wanted out but wasn't sure how I will go about making a life outside of this cult as all my friends were jw's. I pictured a very lonely life very few friends and no social life. I was also a carer for my mum for 15 years while managing to work f/time with no help from anyone. Due to this burden I was not able to marry (who would be willing to take that on). My mums health deteriorated to the point that I had no choice but to put her into a home (wheelchair bound and unable to get in or out of her chair). It broke my heart. One of my siblings is d'fd which was heatbreaking for my mum and caused a lot of disconnection within the family (my father is not in our life). Its the main reason I never physically left as I didn't want to cause her anymore heartbreak (my dad was abusive and an alcoholic - they divorced when I was a teenager but we still had major issues with him till he passed quite a few years ago). After she went into care, things went down hill for me and I pulled away from most of my friends just trying to deal with things. I was suicidal (again). A year later, I had reconnected with an old school friend, and at her birthday dinner, I met with another old school friend and she included me in her social life. She has become like family to me now, and her family (immediate & extended) have also taken me in (they have family overseas who are jw's and experienced shunning when the son was d/fd). I have met many people out in the 'world' and now have a very busy social life. As photo's appeared of me out partying on social media, my so-called jw friends turn their back on me. But I have gained many more accepting beautiful friends. I did all the things we were not allowed to do: getting drunk, smoking, birthdays, Christmas, dating 'worldly' guys, sex etc. The freedom to do what you want without judgement was exhilerating and times a little over whelming. I am in a really good place now and loving my new life. I bumped into so many ex-jw's I grew up with and it was heartbreaking to hear what they all went through after they left. These ones have now become some of my closest friends. My life couldn't better and I am living MY LIFE the way I WANT TO. I am finally happy. Again, thanks to all those on here as you all helped me when I was in a very dark place.

  • eyeuse2badub

    I can sort of understand your situation. Many of us here have been "pretend" witnesses for the sake of our elderly parents. I'm still faking it a bit so as not to hurt my 92 year old super jw mother in law. I've never felt more alive now that I've finally resolved that it was all a hoax and that I was a captive.

    Freedom has a sweet taste indeed!

    just saying!

  • Diogenesister

    Thats one of the most heart warming posts I've read in a long time! I'm so glad for you! I'm very sorry about your mother. It sounds like 'the best life ever' turned out to be awful for her. I'm so very very sorry. By the way I'm sure there would have been many men willing to have the pleasure of marrying you and having your dear mother as a mother-in-law - wheelchair bound or not. Don't put yourself down!! Personality is more important than circumstance!

    Are you in touch with your DF sibling now, too?

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut
    I did all the things we were not allowed to do: getting drunk, smoking, birthdays, Christmas, dating 'worldly' guys, sex etc. The freedom to do what you want without judgement was exhilerating and times a little over whelming

    Glad to hear things are working out. Don’t be one of those XJWs who throw the baby out with the bath water and foolishly ruin their lives by behaving like naughty rebellious children. Some of the things you learned as a JW where a protection and are a benefit so use them to your advantage. I don’t understand what the big draw is in smoking and getting drunk when everyone knows the damage these things do. We’ve all seen what often happens to those who have been raised to wrongly believe that every non JW is a foul mouthed low life, living in complete debauchery and they go out and start experimenting with all the things they’ve heard about. Glad things are going well so far but they can change very quickly if you become pregnant, pick up a disease or an addiction. Be smart...prove them all wrong....Don’t become another X JW train wreck who went for the low and common things in life. It’s a great feeling when you run into an old JW friend and they marvel at how well you look, how fit and well dressed you are and how well you are doing.

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