"Secret Sins"... a catalyst for change both negative and positive

by silentbuddha 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • silentbuddha

    I have been completely out for close to 5 years and I have spent alot of time with individuals who either left or are in the process of leaving. Whenever we get to talking about what made you leave or what was it that made the flip switch, the initial answer is some doctrinal teaching. In other instances it was just sorrow or a variety of other things.

    However, as you get closer to many of these individuals it was generally a secret sin they committed at the root of it all. They had a habit of watching porn and didnt want to come forward. Maybe they were over drinking but just didn't want to tell on themselves. They slowly stopped praying and THEN began to find fault. After thinking deeply about this the same thing happened to me. I had a real issue with listening to religious music that completely contradicted JW teachings. I got to the point that nothing seemed real anymore. I slowly slide into examining teachings and then things happened.

    Many people that I got close to later on realized this was the case with many of them. Some with porn and too embarrassed to tell. Alchohol and the like. THey stop praying and then start questioning. The sad part is I know 3 witnesses who committed suicide. 2 of the three had admitted to the elders that there had been secret sins being committed and they could no longer pray anymore and the embarrassment of what they had done was too much.

    THis idea of secret sin is foolish but can lead to serious consequences it seems.

  • stuckinarut2

    I disagree. Sorry to be so blunt, but I think your reasoning is flawed, and is influenced by witness residual thinking.

    The society has created that kind of thinking in witnesses.

    They have said that the only reason witnesses leave, is because THEY have done something wrong. That the BLAME lies with that PERSON. They must be spiritually weak, or a secret sinner, or something like that. (see the "return to Jehovah" brochure for example)

    The reality is MANY leave because they see the false teachings, and the high-control tactics for what they are - wrong. They see that there is no way that this one organization has the 'TRUTH' as a result of being the ' only channel God is using to communicate with humans'

    Most who leave are more moral, and more honest.

    It is precisely because we value truth, honesty,and transparency that we have left the society.

  • OneEyedJoe

    The concept of a secret sin interfering with someone's prayers always baffled me. They beat it in to you that you're always sinning in sufficient degree to be deserving of death, so why would porn or drinking be so much worse than just your usual day-to-day stuff?

    In any event, no secret sin here. It was purely my being disillusioned with the doctrine that lead to me to start researching stuff. Now, sins committed after I left is a while other story.

  • silentbuddha

    I personally do not believe in the concept of secret sin. Afterall it is apparent to me that if there was a creator of sorts he has done nothing to fully inform us how to contact him or how to really do what he wants. He never talks directly to anyone so either so a secret sin seems a bit far-fetched.

    However, with the JW mindset in which Jehovo is watching all the time the concept makes sense. After all He knows you told a lie, but somehow watching big breasted asian lesbians getting it on then going in the bathroom and beating off in a sock without telling your wife or the elders appeared to be worse somehow.

    Stuckinarut I think maybe you are under the impression that I adhere to that train of thought, but I do not any LONGER. I always considered myself to be a person of high moral standards which is why listening to songs of a certain type caused me to want to repent before JEHOBO, I then felt so guilty that I felt unworthy to even pray. That circumstance sparked a change in me that caused me to look at why I felt that way.

    There is no need to apologize for being blunt. It is a discussion board and I hope that part of the reason people come here is to express their opinions and possibly change them based on the experience of others. Pretty far-fetched I know.

  • stuckinarut2

    Thanks silentbuddha. I certainly offered my comment with full respect. (Not trying to be argumentative.)

    It is nice to be able to share our opinions freely, without it being a heated debate.

    You are correct, we all once bought into such distorted thinking as witnesses. It is liberating once "the truth sets us free"

  • silentbuddha

    I appreciate your ability to be able to respond without anger. I also like the viewpoint you put forth. My circle of exjws is quite small but there was this common strand that ran through all their experiences.

    I also prefer talking to people who don't agree with me, it helps me to expa d my world view. Thanks bro

  • Old Navy
    Old Navy

    I think Pale Emperor may be on to something. My last association with a congregation (1998-2003) was an eye-opening experience where I began to see TTATT even before I knew what it was. The numbers of young wives leaving their husbands was unbelievable. Nearly all went to the World. I now have a better understanding why.

    While it is true that many leave the Cult in a state of high morality, it seemed to me that most left the Cult during my association for reasons of "immorality." Can't really blame them...

  • silentbuddha

    Old Navy is there a link to Pale Emperors thread? I would like to see what he has to say because this issue really touches me.

    Especially since so many people I know have fallen into this trap and then slide into depression etc...

  • Old Navy
    Old Navy

    Woooops - a senior moment struck again! Was reading two topics and got confused:

    Meant to say Silent Buddha may be on to something!

    My wife is from Japan and is Soka Gakkai Buddhist.

  • stillin
    I don't think it's all one way or the other. There is certainly a correlation with secret sin and rationalizing why it isn't really so bad, but the Society has done enough to shoot itself in the foot without any help.

Share this