Paradise lost - found!

by dmouse 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • dmouse
    dmouse

    Hey, my mum was having a clear-out today and decided to throw away her old Society books (she ain't in now...yippee).

    I was helping and came across an old 'Paradise Lost - Paradise Regained' book that we used to study as a family when I was just a nipper.

    It's in remarkably good condition considering five kids used to man-handle it about 30 years ago. It wasn't a children's book really, but the simple language used, to appeal to all sorts of laymen, made it suitable for that purpose.

    Scanning through I came across loads of pictures that really brought memories flooding back, I'll post some more when I get the time.

    Somebody recently posted a thread about the JW belief that dinosaurs were about at the same time as humans. Well the picture on the inside cover shows a dinosaur (top left) wandering about the desert and people too.

    I was wondering, apart from such pictures, did the Society ever say anything about dinosaurs being destroyed in the flood IN PRINT.

    I was also wondering...do you think these old books might be worth selling on Ebay?

  • greven
    greven

    Hey dmouse!

    Yeah it is a funny book I have it myself too. It will fetch a good price on e-bay I recon.

    I don't remember anything in print on dinosaurs and the flood but they sure hinted at it. silly buggers.

    Did you notice btw the manner in which Jesus is portrayed in this book? He looks like a roman God no beard or moustace but cleanshaven. Caucasian too. This book dates from a period when facial hair was considered pagan (ahem! they were jews no?). Like Jesus would walk among the jews looking like the enemy, roman oppressors! weird!

    Greven

  • Prisca
    Prisca
    It wasn't a children's book really, but the simple language used, to appeal to all sorts of laymen, made it suitable for that purpose.

    Yep, I used to read it as a 5yr old. Some of the pics were pretty scary - a good brain-washing technique for instilling fear of Armageddon

    I remember the dinosaur, too. I think that pic is supposed to be like a time-line. If you look at all the illustrations, they show a basic history of the Bible stories.

    As for dinosaurs being destroyed in the Flood, there was an Awake article from the mid 90s that talked about it. Maybe someone with an CD might be able to find the article.

  • dmouse
    dmouse
    Did you notice btw the manner in which Jesus is portrayed in this book?

    Yeah, very ...Anglo-centric, if that's a word?

    And what's that bloke doing sniffing Jesus' butt!?

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    Prisca, was this the one you were thinking of?

    *** g75 6/8 p. 7 A Worldwide Flood—What Does It Mean to You? ***

    "All

    Flesh . . . Expired"

    According to the book of Genesis, outside the ark "all flesh that was moving upon the earth expired" during the worldwide flood. (Gen. 7:21) Is there widespread evidence of such a watery destruction of living creatures?

    ...

    An extraordinary testimony to the widespread watery destruction of animal life is the remains of the mammoths found throughout northern Siberia and into Alaska. Hundreds of thousands (some estimate as many as 5,000,000) of these creatures were rapidly buried and quick-frozen in icy muck. They are sometimes found in a near-perfect state of preservation, with undigested tropical vegetation in their stomachs and between their teeth. As to the type of catastrophe that could sweep away creatures over so widespread an area, Earth’s Most Challenging Mysteries observes:

    "There is one significant fact that is always connected with every dinosaur fossil and every mammoth fossil, and that is that every fossil is almost invariably dug out of water-laid sedimentary rock. Every fossil is either dug out of shale, which is just floodwater mud hardened into rock, or out of floodwater sand hardened into sandstone, or frozen into permafrost."

    The latest comment I could find:

    *** g90 10/22 p. 30 From Our Readers ***

    Dinosaurs

    As an archaeologist and geologist, I quite enjoyed the Awake! articles on dinosaurs. (February 8, 1990) With regard to the time of their disappearance, the articles stated that human fossils occur in rock layers well above those containing dinosaur fossils and that there are rock layers in between. In many parts of the world, these intervening rock layers, or strata, also contain fossils. Many new varieties, or kinds, of animals appear in these layers, such as elephants, saber-toothed cats, and several varieties of flightless running birds. This would strongly suggest that God was still creating new animals after the dinosaurs were gone and that the dinosaurs disappeared during the sixth creative epoch. G. S., Canada

    The

    Bible does not specify the time of either the creation or the disappearance of dinosaurs. Nevertheless, the comments of G. S. are of interest.—ED.

    I have it in the back of my mind that the WTS used to be more direct about this. I'll see what I can find.

    Craig

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere
    And what's that bloke doing sniffing Jesus' butt!?

    I think he was confusing Jesus for Hank...

    Kissing Hank's Butt
    http://www.jhuger.com/kisshankbutt.mv

    John:    		 "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."

    Mary:    		 Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's butt with us."

    Me:    		 "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His butt?"

    John:    		 "If you kiss Hank's butt, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the snot out of you."

    Me:    		 "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"

    John:    		 "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His butt."

    Me:    		 "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."

    Mary:    		 "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the butt?"

    Me:    		 "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."

    John:    		 "Then come kiss Hank's butt with us."

    Me:    		 "Do you kiss Hank's butt often?"

    Mary:    		 "Oh yes, all the time..."

    Me:    		 "And has He given you a million dollars?"

    John:    		 "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."

    Me:    		 "So why don't you just leave town now?"

    Mary:    		 "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the snot out of you."

    Me:    		 "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's butt, left town, and got the million dollars?"

    John:    		 "My mother kissed Hank's butt for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."

    Me:    		 "Haven't you talked to her since then?"

    John:    		 "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."

    Me:    		 "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"

    Mary:    		 "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."

    Me:    		 "What's that got to do with Hank?"

    John:    		 "Hank has certain 'connections.'"

    Me:    		 "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."

    John:    		 "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's butt He'll kick the snot of you."

    Me:    		 "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."

    Mary:    		 "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."

    Me:    		 "Then how do you kiss His butt?"

    John:    		 "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His butt. Other times we kiss Karl's butt, and he passes it on."

    Me:    		 "Who's Karl?"

    Mary:    		 "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's butt. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."

    Me:    		 "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His butt, and that Hank would reward you?"

    John:

    "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

    From the desk of Karl

    1. Kiss Hank's butt and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
    2. Use alcohol in moderation.
    3. Kick the snot out of people who aren't like you.
    4. Eat right.
    5. Hank dictated this list Himself.
    6. The moon is made of green cheese.
    7. Everything Hank says is right.
    8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
    9. Don't use alcohol.
    10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
    11. Kiss Hank's butt or He'll kick the snot out of you.

    Me:    		 "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."

    Mary:    		 "Hank didn't have any paper."

    Me:    		 "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."

    John:    		 "Of course, Hank dictated it."

    Me:    		 "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"

    Mary:    		 "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."

    Me:    		 "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the snot out of people just because they're different?"

    Mary:    		 "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."

    Me:    		 "How do you figure that?"

    Mary:    		 "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"

    Me:    		 "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."

    John:    		 "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."

    Me:    		 "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."

    John:    		 "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."

    Me:    		 "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."

    Mary:    		 "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."

    Me:    		 "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."

    John:    		 "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"

    Me:    		 "We do?"

    Mary:    		 "Of course we do, Item 7 says so."

    Me:    		 "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"

    John:    		 "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."

    Me:    		 "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"

    Mary:    		 She blushes.

    John:    		 "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."

    Me:    		 "What if I don't have a bun?"

    John:    		 "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."

    Me:    		 "No relish? No Mustard?"

    Mary:    		 She looks positively stricken.

    John:    		 He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"

    Me:    		 "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"

    Mary:    		 Sticks her fingers in her ears."I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."

    John:    		 "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."

    Me:    		 "It's good! I eat it all the time."

    Mary:    		 She faints.

    John:    		 He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the snot out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's butt for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."

    With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.
  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    I find it hard to believe that G.S. is an authentic archeologist and geologist, based on his stupid statements about God creating animals.

    By the way, Jesus' complexion seems to be rather paper-colored to me. Was he transparent?

  • dmouse
    dmouse
    Some of the pics were pretty scary - a good brain-washing technique for instilling fear

    There aren't that many pics, but the theme is fairly consistant - piss off the God of the JWs and you're toast!

    and of course the now infamous:

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    dmouse:

    I was wondering, apart from such pictures, did the Society ever say anything about dinosaurs being destroyed in the flood IN PRINT.

    Check the Aid book, under Flood. It mentions there that the dinosaurs died out, at the latest, at the time of the flood.

    Elsewhere:

    ROTFLMAO!!!!! That story is hilarious!!! Where did you find it?????

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    OK I followed the link, duh. I thought the story was aimed at JWs, actually it is aimed at any religion. The author also has some variations for specific religions. Here is the dub one:

    Jehovah's Witnesses - Everybody in town should kiss Hank's ass, but only 144 are going to get a million dollars after Hank burns the town down, which we think will be Real Soon Now. Then he'll kick the shit out of anyone who didn't kiss his ass, and send the rest to a nicer, newer town. Here, have a pamphlet; it describes what we think we mean. We'll be back tomorrow to tell you why everyone else is kissing Hank's ass wrong.

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