by kitties_and_horses_oh_my! 36 Replies latest jw friends
he doesn't need to be emotionally tormented any more. 10 months is a long time for someone going through something like this.
How do you know he is being emotionally "tormented?" Someone going through something like what? Going to the meetings? I see nothing unbearable with that.
A suicidal teen needs to be protected at all costs. Making a report at with the local children's agency should buy the kid time until he is a consenting adult, and also protect the "worldly" family supporting him from false accusation.
Eevery teenager feels agnst and frustration at being close to being your own person, but not quite! He probably also feels fear of losing his home and support base, much like myself, but that's where men are made or boys go home. It aint easy leaving home so young, but he would be the first nor the last to buy the ticket and take that ride. I wish him the best. As far as mental or emotional abuse....JWs have never been the best at dealing with teenagers and their raging feelings..."ah acting up?" "time for an elder's visit!"...this is probably what he is feeling the most...plus throw in the JW guilt and lingering fear and you got a mess! I'm hoping he can find a place to reside till he's 18, but I would imagine that most courts would say that at his age he has the right to not be a JW and grant him adult status. Good thoughts from the texas branch.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
How do you know he is being emotionally "tormented?" Someone going through something like what? Going to the meetings? I see nothing unbearable with that.
amac, it's not just going to the meetings. It's something that has to be dealt with in every day life. If a child chooses to be worldly rather than be in the truth, his parents will look down on him for the rest of his life, and since he's been attending meetings, he knows this. Then you get all the shit at the meetings, "We missed you on Sunday! Where were you?", "When are you going to get baptized?".
Then you get the encouragers, "Want to come out with me on field service Saturday?". Then, when the encouragers get a "no" answer, they go to the parents, and of course the parents do the "encouraging" because they have the power. They can take threaten and take away all the child's material posessions, or kick him out of the house if he doesn't "obey his mother & father".
Trust me, words can hurt more than you think. Words can damage a person's self-esteem and their own self-worth. If he's been wanting out of the truth for quite some time and he's not getting out, it will take a toll on him emotionally. He probably wants to date, hang out with his worldly friends after school, but he can't or his parents will take action against him. It's not a picnic, trust me.
Trust me, words can hurt more than you think. Words can damage a person's self-esteem and their own self-worth. If he's been wanting out of the truth for quite some time and he's not getting out, it will take a toll on him emotionally. He probably wants to date, hang out with his worldly friends after school, but he can't or his parents will take action against him. It's not a picnic, trust me.
I understand all of this. But how far do you go? Should we set up homes for all JW kids who want to leave their family? Do we actively help a kid who is running away just because he is a JW, even though we are not familiar with the details? If that is the case, then half the world's children are in danger as JWs are far from the only ones that impose their imperfect ideas on their children to their detriment.
Helping someone who is suicidial is one thing. Helping them leave their family because you don't like their parents religion is another. Every set of parents do things that are detrimental to their children, whether they mean to or not. I don't think it's the place of others to intervene unless there are physical dangers involved.
Helping someone who is suicidial is one thing. Helping them leave their family because you don't like their parents religion is another.
This is where you and me think quite differently amac. I wouldn't doubt if all the pressure of the religion is causing him to be suicidal. I was very much the same way when I was 17, however it sounds as if it's gone further with him than it did with me. I'm a very strong believer of one's emotional being. For him, the scars are all on the inside, not on the outside.
Depending on what country he is in..
In the United States and in most states there is a law that allows a child to be emancipated, It requires a court hearing and there are certain things he will have to do before going to court. Also he is 17 years of age, in most states after14 years of age the child can determine on his own where he wants to live. There is not much the parents can do at this age he is almost 18 and if he told the authorities that he did not want to go back home they cannot do much about it....
I also get this feeling that he may not really be suicidal, I think it may be a toll he is using in order to gain some of his own self control if you understand what I mean by that. It maybe that he is using that as a pity tool to get away or get help to get away...
I wouldn't doubt if all the pressure of the religion is causing him to be suicidal.
That's fine as an opinion, but that's all it is. Who knows if he really is suicidal? Just because I receive a second hand remark that someone is suicidal does not mean I'm going to assume that he truly is and his parents and their religion are the cause and that I should help him "escape" this terrible oppressive environment. That is why I originally stated that I have mixed feelings about helping split up a family that I know nothing about.
On a side note, I know all about emotional scars. As far as I'm concerned, they're the same as flesh scars, they're always going to be there and no amount of rubbing it, looking at it, examining it, going to the doctors so he can look at it, is going to change the scar. Might as well move on and live with it.
Thanks everyone... we will respond when we have more information. For the record, the problems are not due to the parents forcing the teen to simply go to meetings or do other dub tasks. It is much more than that. They are emotionally manipulative (to a very high degree), extremely controlling, verbally abusive (telling the teen he is basically worthless), etc.
I will get back to you with more info... you've all been very helpful and we both appreciate your comments!!
