Wow... There More Closet Faders Than I Thought

by pale.emperor 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pale.emperor

    Yep, im still fading. I know it's gonna be a long and meticulous process but so far it's going well. Isnt it funny how when you stop reading the material and stop thinking yourself of being unworthy all the time - eventually you get happier and happier each day and see the world around you the way it is? Yeah, its not perfect but it never has been.

    Anyway, last week i walk walking to the shops with my brother in law, he's 10 years younger than me. He's not long got married and out of the blue told me he's deliberately reducing his ministry input. The reason being that surely it's not right to go door to door when you feel no joy in it. Surely Jehovah would rather send a zealous person to an interested door? I told him that i haven't been on the ministry in 7 months and that im probably listed as inactive by now. I'm no longer called upon to give prayers, no privileges in the hall anymore but i still do demos. (Im gonna take myself off the school too in a few weeks).

    The conversation we had was a long one, but in short he relayed some things he didnt feel right about in the borg. With some well thought out reasoning too. But at the same time he does still believe it to be the closest thing to truth out there. I can relate to an extent.

    I told him some things im thinking. How this is almost a new religion compared to the one my dad joined in 1973. That if my dad were alive today and was presented with the current version of the revelation book he'd call it apostasy because the version he read was - supposed to be - the correct interpretation of Revelation. Also told him that the world is a terrible place - but then if you want wars, death, rape, destruction, tyrants etc you'll find it all throughout history. This is nothing new.

    Nothing i said was dangerous enough to fear an elder pulling me aside and wanting a quiet word. And anyway im not afraid to voice my "doubts" to "concerned" elders. After all, im an imperfect human who is "thirsting for truth".

    But what surprised me the most is that he told me of a very active couple we know who've left. No disassociated but stopped going entirely. Apparently they're not comfortable with the direction the borg is going and have concerns with the backtracking, deletions and distortions in the literature. This is a couple that you'd see on convention demos, interviews etc - the kind you'd see in the DVD's telling us how Jehovah has blessed them. They're not DF'ed or disassociated, i dont know why because wouldn't their voicing of such things be considered apostasy?

    There seems to be lots of people who - one on one - will tell you they're having doubts but go along anyway because "it's the closest thing we have to truth" or "if i leave, i'd lose my family". Im in the last group myself.

    A few years ago a load of young ones from my circuit went to Australia for a year - out of the 12 that went only 1 came back a witness. Without the influence of their parents watchful eyes they grabbed their opportunity to leave with both hands.

    Kind of reminds me of North Korea. "Everything is fine. We're all happy here. :) " - as soon as they're out - RUN!!!!

  • stuckinarut2

    Great thread!

    Still, tread carefully.

    Even the best planned fade can be blown by one person ratting you out earlier than you wish...

    But yes, once we allow ourselves to let go of the control the society has over us, the clearer life becomes!

  • snugglebunny

    A brilliant thread on the art of fading here:

  • GrownMidget

    I can relate to "still the truth" part. It was months, if not years long process. As you said; I'm also happier and more "normal" than I ever was while being inside.

    Probably everyone goes through the questioning of the truth and then either decide to go back or stay out. All the best to you!

  • KateWild

    You sound like you're taking the right steps. Hope you stop the school soon. Keep us informed.

    Kate xx

  • Heaven
    The ever changing doctrines of Botchtower are proof they do not have the truth. Period. And that leads to the next revelation that they are not being directed by God. Which really makes them just one more 'Christian' religion out of many with nothing really to offer except the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). I personally don't find this to be anywhere near the closest thing to the truth. On the contrary, it is far from it.
  • DesirousOfChange

    But at the same time he does still believe it to be the closest thing to truth out there. I can relate to an extent.

    That's right! There's less manure (read: bullshit) in it than in all the other religions!

    Image result for a little bit of poison in a glass of water

    But, it's the closest thing to "The Truth".


  • xjwsrock

    There is a "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water" stage for everyone probably during the wake up process.

    Eventually though, you see fully there is no baby. Just dirty water.

    Just another scam where the people at the top don't pay any bills.

  • Magnum
    Thanks for relating that. It gives me hope that more will wake up and the the waters of the org will dry up. Interesting about the formerly very active couple.
  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    i wonder how many "younger" ones are stuck in the cult--even though they have no interest in it--simply to please controlling overbearing parents ?

    for example--my born in ex wife and i had 3 kids--all grown and married with kids of their own. my oldest--and youngest--are still in--and have shunned me totally for many years. my middle one--son age 40 is out--and is totally shunned by his mother---but has a close relationship with me now.

    but--even when she ( my ex ) dies--she will still be controlling them.......if they quit the cult after she dies--then they wont get to see her resurrected into the brave new world.

    oh--in case you hadnt guessed--i hate the watchtower.cult.

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