by Cold Steel 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Cold Steel
    Cold Steel

    The Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses, known for its aggressive worldwide proselytizing efforts, stunned many of its 12-million members by declaring war this week on a Los Angeles denim and designer jeans organization that goes by the name “True Religion.”

    “As members of Jehovah's one true religious faith we have no business of associating with any organization that claims to be Jehovah's true religion!” a letter from the GB states. It was dated July 20.

    In its opening salvo, the seven-member GB directed believers to not “shop at, buy, nor even wear” True Religion's products.

    “There's really nothing surprising about our actions,” said GB member Mark Sanderson. “We don't sell jeans and they shouldn't be into religion.”

    But True Religion CEO John Ermatinger doesn't agree.

    “We're not into religion at all. It's simply a marketing name, like Kleenex, or Xerox. Where do the Jehovah's Witnesses get off criticizing us?”

    Sanderson says registered companies should stick to the businesses they were created to serve. “We've been around for more than a century,” Sanderson said, “and though we haven't actually heard from Jehovah, we're pretty sure if he were here that he'd disapprove of what this clothing outlet is doing. I've never told any of the other guys this before, but when we meet, I can feel Jehovah is there with us, invisibly of course. No one can see him. Sometimes when we're together as a group of Twelve...er, seven, I'll hear someone cough, and I'll look behind me and no one will be there. Very odd. I'll say, ‘Hey, did you guys hear that?' and they'll like say, ‘yeah.'”

    “Look, we have nothing to do with religion,” Ermatinger iterated, hitting his fist gently against the table with each word. “Sometimes these guys, they come in here with their wives, clutching their Watchtowers and we ask them if we can help them. They just look at each other and then look away. They don't say a word. It's very creepy!”

    “Well,” Sanderson said, “Creepy is as creepy does! But where does Ermatinger get off with this True Religion stuff? What if we called ourselves the Watchtower Jeans and Denim Society? What would he say?”

    “I'd say, go ahead,” Ermatinger said. “Besides, what do they have to do with religion? They're a frickin' publishing company! And besides, they use cheap paper and ink! We have to wash our hands every time we pick up the literature they leave around here. If we don't our hands smell and we break out in a rash.”

    The Jehovah's Witnesses have said it will sure the new store if its owners attempt to use the term, “The Truth.”

  • Tallon

    WTBTS is nothing more than a publishing company.

    PS; is there a link to an original article for this interview?

  • ttdtt

    This is a joke, right?

  • scratchme1010

    ttdtt, read again:

    The Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses, known for its aggressive worldwide proselytizing efforts, stunned many of its 12-million members...

    Only their members are stunned, the rest to the 7,520,316,068 people in the planet can't care less.

  • sparrowdown

    No chance of this store getting confused with JWs as the name is True Religion. If it were called The Only True Religion on the other hand, well, that could be a bit awkward for JWs as the other "only true religion." But since the only people who recognize JWs as the unofficial "true religion" are the JWs themselves I cannot see a trademark issue. Lol.

  • Finkelstein

    Good satire, ironically there is nothing true about religion.

  • _Morpheus

    Rotflmao... well done cold steel 😂😂😂😂

  • Finkelstein

    The self proclaiming identity by the WTS. of their organization as being only true religion is indicative to its own self supporting marketing strategy.

    The WTS heads have been quite cunning in promoting itself.

    That's why most JWS speak of one being in the truth and identify themselves as such.

    Are they in the truth, is he or she in the truth ?

    Mental indoctrination goes deep as well intentional brainwashing.

  • FedUpJW

    I feel sorry for people who are so gullible that they cannot recognize satire or humor when they read it.

    This "news" was hilarious.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut
    • At least when True Religion makes "adjustments" they make sense and you get a product that fits better.

    • The Watchtower must be a major stock holder in Guess? Jeans since that's pretty much how they came up with their teachings.

    • His disciples asked, Lord how will we be able to identify the True Religion? And the Lord said, durable materials, uniform stitching and attention to detail.

    • There was a sister in my Congregation who used to wear Guess? Jeans and when I'd see the Guess? label on her back pocket, my guess was always somewhere between 250 - 260 lbs.

    • JW's have been banned from purchasing Guess? Jeans because they believe they have all the answers and question marks make them uneasy.

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