JW Grandparent Drama

by What Now? 16 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jambon1

    I've said it before on here and I really wish people would do it. It's time people reverse shunned these absolutely vile, toxic people.

    Theres no way I would allow my children into a situation where my mother doesn't speak to me yet has contact with the kids. No way. What would this teach your children about relationships? What lesson would it teach your mother about how she treats you?

    Reverse shunning drives Witnesses crazy. They hate it. It disempowers their ridiculous power/guilt trip.

    Give them nothing. They're frankly not worthy of you.

    "No natural affection" - fulfilled by Jehovah's Witnesses.

  • pale.emperor

    Similar situation with me. My family are shunning me but cry and moan that they never see my daughter. They too are playing the victim "the whole family is suffering because of what you've done" etc

    Unfortunately, my ex takes my daughter to visit every couple of weeks. I tell her not to but she does it behind by back anyway (no backbone).

  • sparrowdown

    In any situation other than "religious rights" this type of "family" behavior would be called out for what it is - petty, passive aggressive and disgracefully using religion as a weapon.

  • DesirousOfChange

    My wife and I read over the letter you posted here that you sent to your mother and sisters two years ago. It was extremely well thought out, very articulate, and relatively tactful. If this didn't "move their hearts", nothing will. We have no idea what more could you say than what was in that letter.

    It reminds me of the "signs" of the "last days" in @ Tim 3:3 where men would have "no natural affection". Surely, they are fulfilling this prophecy.

    Good luck! Doc

  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    What would you be teaching your children if you allowed their father to be disrespected.....by FAMILY.......over petty high control behavior.

    It hurts. It sucks. You are in the right here. Why not write another letter. If nothing else, you know she will read it and not respond. But she cant un-read your words.

  • Heartsafire

    On writing your mother a letter: I think that it would be a good idea to let her know very clearly in writing that you respect her and want her to be part of your children's lives, but she must reciprocate that respect. This is a civil, reasonable, and fair expectation of anyone.

    Perhaps she does not have to agree with your decision to leave the JWs, but if she wants to be in your children's lives she must not "shun" you particularly in front of your own children due to her disagreement. Rather, she needs to contribute to the welfare of your children and unity of your family by respecting you as their parent and mother.

    I know you aren't particularly concerned about her teaching the children JW things when they are with her, and maybe this is because you are willing to overlook more than you normally would for the sake of their relationship. But, at some point your children will be old enough to understand JW teachings such as birthdays are evil and Armageddon, etc. These teachings could affect your children. I don't know about you, but I certainly wouldn't want to impose that propaganda on anyone much less young, impressionable minds. It may be worth asking your mother to bond with your children in ways other than religious--or at least refrain from certain teachings that you believe could be damaging.

    Hopefully she would read a letter if you wrote one, but I wouldnt rely on her doing so. She may read it and refuse to comply. In this case, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Do all in your power to surround your children with good people who share your values and respect you. In my case, I joined a local church group for a time and made a lot of friends. I don't attend the church, and most of them don't either, but at least I have a great support group! Much better than anything I had at the KH.

    You and your children deserve much better than what your family has shown.

    I apologize this is such a long post.

    Edit: as for a biblical appeal, I would not divulge any scriptural basis on your demand for respect. First of all, no one needs a scripture to agree that shunning a parent in their children's presence is disrespectful. To ask someone to treat you humanely is not an unreasonable request and does not require scriptural backing. Secondly, JWs are conditioned to only look to the FDS for interpretation of scripture so anyone-particularly a DF'd person-who quotes the Bible will be seen as misinterpreting scripture. I could go on, but I'm stopping here.

  • mrquik

    There's a difference between family & blood relatives. I have a number of blood relatives, including a daughter, sisters & brothers who I don't consider family. As they were told by the cult, the cult is now their family. So be it, but expect me to cut all ties as well. I have others who are not blood relatives whom I view as family. People who care about me & will stand with me. These have become more than enough especially considering they aren't blood relatives. People who love & care for you are family; that's the bottom line.

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