My mom and sisters have not had any contact with my family for the past year and a half.
We even recently announced a new pregnancy and none of them acknowledged it or called to say congratulations or anything.
This past week my non-witness grandfather passed away and I had thought that for the sake of his death and funeral, it being "necessary family business" that they would at least be civil in front of our other family. All of them still ignored me, my sisters didn't even speak to my children at all - to be honest I don't think my kids even knew who they were. For the sake of my grandmother I made a small attempt at the end of the day to say goodbye to my mother and she kind of just brushed past me and said goodbye without really looking at me.
Anyways my grandmother told me later that my mom spoke to her and said "I love my daughter and I love my grandchildren and I'm so upset that she won't allow me to see them". To be honest I was quite floored and annoyed really ... because I have never once said that my mother is not allowed to see her grandchildren. I'm not sure what she expects - that I'm going to allow someone to disrespect me and not have anything to do with me, not look me in the eye or acknowledge me in any way but still say "here take my children"? We have made it clear that we still want to be a family and get together, but our family is a package deal. I'm not going to have this twisted relationship where I drop my children off at her front door and leave so she can play the grandmother. What about when the new baby comes? Does she expect me to sit in another room so she can have her visit, and have someone bring the baby back and forth for me to feed them so she doesn't have to deal with me?
It's not even really that I'm worried that she will preach to the kids while they are there, but I feel like anyone that wants to be in my children's life needs to at least be civil with me at the very least. I also don't want my children to see this and think it's a normal way for a parent child relationship to be.
Is this unreasonable? She only sees herself as the victim in this situation and I feel like it would be impossible for her to understand my point of view.
Have any of you had this experience where you have allowed your JW families to continue to see your children?
I'm thinking of writing her one last letter (i've written two in the past which have so far gone unanswered), just to reach out one last time and try to get her to understand my point of view - do any of you have some suggestions about what I might say? How about some "scriptural advice" that I can use to appeal to her?
Thanks all for your input!