Shunning vs. Silent Treatment

by raven 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • raven

    I was thinking this morning in context with the shunning practice- which we all know is a degrading and abusive routine carried out among all brainwashed JW's to those who have sinned/left the org etc.. So with that in mind, how does shunning differ from the silent treatment to JW's? Both are similar in definition..

    Silent Treatment. : an act of completely ignoring a person or thing by resort to silence especially as a means of expressing contempt or disapproval.

    Shun, Shunning: persistently avoid, ignore, or reject (someone or something) through antipathy or caution.

    Based on JW teachings which I stupidly accepted back when I was asleep and under mind control, I didn't give it two thoughts on how both acts are related.. I do remember an article in a WT which spoke of how the silent treatment is a harsh and abusive form of discipline, but then they twist it back and claim that shunning is a loving provision? What a bunch of hypocrisy. I've attached a link to the silent treatment article on JW . org[search_id]=8db69cee-457d-4f37-89f4-5d73c33b6cff&insight[search_result_index]=0

    I have grown to hate this organization more and more each day.. Just my 2 cents.

  • flipper

    RAVEN- Very good thread. I agree with you there is no difference in shunning and giving the " silent " treatment. And WT leaders are so hypocritical that they'll condemn the " silent treatment " in an Awake article concerning men and women or couples giving each other the " silent treatment " saying it's wrong- but WT leaders don't condemn themselves doing the same thing and teaching JW's the same thing in shunning non believers or ex-JW's. Very hypocritical. WT leaders NEVER admit to fault and they NEVER take responsibility for wrong views- because in their minds they consider themselves" legends". God's chosen leaders to keep " the flock " in order and under control.

    And by the way- you are a very smart woman. You were never " stupid " - you and me and others were just deceived and fooled by an unscrupulous , dishonest organization run by criminals intent on using us for their own financial needs and purposes." How can we blame ourselves when we know they told us lies , when people we're supposed to trust bring this big surprise ? " I put these words in quotes as they are words from one of my new songs titled " Mirage in your Mind " on a new album I'm making . LOL. But think about it- it's really THEIR fault they deceived us - what were we to do ? They betrayed our trust and lied to us- and that can happen to anybody in this life- it doesn't determine if we are " stupid " or " smart ". We actually are VERY smart for having escaped and gotten out of the cult. Give yourself a pat on the back and give yourself credit for escaping while you are still young- at least you didn't spend 40 to 50 years in it like some of us did before we woke up !

    Feel good about yourself. Part of WT leaders deceiving us was to rob us of our self esteem and put ourselves down. Now that we are free of them there's no longer any need to do this. It takes time but gradually we rebuild our love for ourselves as WT robbed us of that and told us to consider ourselves a " lesser one ". take care my friend and please know that we are here for you and always on your side, O.K. ? Peace out, your buddy, Flipper

  • raven


    Hey there my good friend, thank you for replying on this thread post. I always appreciate your thoughts! I 100% agree with you here. WT leaders force beliefs on practices and doctrines that what will benefit them, just blows my mind that people in this cooperation don't see the obvious faults and lies, if this was supposedly "God's Organization" we would not see these under the table deals, hidden child sex abuse, and most of all joe schmo men running the whole show claiming to be the chosen ones.. Ridiculous. As for the shunning & silent treatments, they are totally the same practice but JW's will come up with some sort of justification as to why it's OK to shun/give a silent treatment ( same thing lets be honest ) to someone.. Pernicious. Just don't get why they would give a definition as being good and loving to shunning and evil and harsh to silent treatment.. So so dumb.

    Looking forward to hearing more about the album Flip. Tell Mrs. Flipper I said hello!

  • Tallon

    I agree. The Org can spin it anyway they like however, shunning and 'giving the cold shoulder' are one and the same.

  • Xanthippe

    Yeah Raven it's an ancient practice, shun, exclude, octracise. Ostracise comes from the practice in Ancient Greece of writing a person's name on a pot sherd, an ostracon, and counting up the votes to decide to exile an unpopular citizen from Athens for five or ten years.

    People separated from their community in ancient times could die. It's still a punishment for those seen as not worthy to be included in a family or community. A primitive practice from a primitive time.

  • raven


    Great point. I am sure there isn't much that will stop it now in present day especially in organizations such as the JW's.. Sad

  • yodastar

    For years my brother has put up the label of being disfellowshipped /excommunicated ( same difference ) but then they have to make them selves different from the rest of religions and use their own label that still means shunning. Its a disgraceful way to control and yet in the teaching of the cult this person is meant to be treated as a 'man of the nations' but there arrogance cannot even let them do this.

    The difference of being 'bought' up with the cult is the indoctrination gets into your very cells vs the brainwashing that affects newcomers. Same thing but worse when your informative years of your brain growth are filled with the promises of illusion.

    Its sad but in reality we did not have the mental strength to know better. Yes it takes time to believe we are 'enough' but the truth is we are. ( Not their version of the brilliant marketing campaign the 'truth')!! Its 20 years since I stepped into their church, totally at ease within that but my family still feels like I'm missing out, very sad really but we are sooo Enough. Just keep on believing in your own goodness Raven

  • stuckinarut2

    Great thread!

    Excellent observation. Yes, to ignore or shun someone is an immature act. The society even had that cartoon drawing video on its web-site for teenagers that showed young ones at school ignoring someone. They labelled that as "bullying"!

    So, WHY cant they see that they as a society practice "bullying" in order to manipulate ones into submission and obedience?

  • La Capra
    La Capra

    In the context of this religion, shunning and the silent treatment are sometimes the same thing, but a dub in good standing could be given the silent treatment by another dub over anything and everything, for personal reasons, then shunning and the silent treatment are two different things.

    To me, avoiding someone and not talking to them when you see them because you are pissed off at them is the definition of the silent treatment. Avoiding someone and not talking to them when you see them because they are a"sinner" (to encourage repentance and avoid "bad association" TM) is shunning.

    The silent treatment isn't always immature, sometimes it's self preservation if it's the bully themself you are ignoring.

  • prologos

    The fact that the silent treatment exist in the congregations is proof that the ideals of Christian teachings have zero effect on these members and their overseers.

Share this