People of misery

by Elsewhere 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Euphemism

    This subject line now has two songs competing in my head...

    My friend of misery...


    I'm a man of constant sorrow...

    Seriously... I was thinking along the same lines as Lady Lee. In particular, many people who suffer emotional abuse have an ingrained belief that they are not worthy of good things, or of success. And so they will subconsciously sabotage themselves.

    Obviously, that is not the case with all abuse sufferers. But many, even if they are succesful in life, have to struggle to overcome such feelings.

  • Silverleaf

    This is an interesting topic. I've wondered about this myself. I have friends, relatives, neighbors who fall into this category. Every day for them brings another problem, they pay off one bill and three more drop into their laps, they get the car fixed and the fridge goes on the fritz, the go to the doc for a minor illness and end up having an allergic reaction to the medication he gives them, the pharmacy loses their insurance information, the car breaks down on the way home and they left their cell phone at the doctor's office... etc, etc. These aren't people with addictions or problems with the law, just regular everyday people who can't seem to ever catch a break, and I've often wondered is it just bad luck? I've never considered myself a "lucky" person, but compared to them, I live on Easy Street. Why?

    I've often wondered if maybe it's a bit of a self-fulfilling situation. If you expect everything to go wrong and live your life with the attitude, "What's going to go wrong next?" something always will. Or could it be they subconsciously sabotage themselves because if everything went well and they got their lives under control, they'd have nothing to sustain them because they actually live on the stress?

    Very good questions. Actually I think Lady Lee's post sums up the answers pretty well.


  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I agree there are some people that you think this isn't addictive behavior - the car, the fridge, the tree falls on the house. These kinds of things can't be seen as a problem that the person themselves cause.

    But they seem to be less able to deal with them and more in need to letting everyone know. Everything is a disaster for them.

  • StinkyPantz

    I am used to pain. . it's almost comforting. .

  • Ravyn

    the only health problem I ever had to deal with (so far) was the Lupus and its tributaries. The only hardship I had to deal with was being a JW. And the only family dysfunction was a schizo father who was a JW. I am a fairly happy and positive person. But I married a wonderful man who was taught from childhood not to trust anyone but his loser family. I swear he would have been better off being raised by wolves. And since we have been married "our" credit has gone downhill to critical and he has one traffic ticket after another and one job after another and it is all because he was born unlucky--has nothing to do with him! He is so locked into that mindset that it becomes an ego struggle for me to make things better for us. I want to buy him a book on Life 101. He just does not have a clue and he does not realize how lucky he really is---because if it all depended on his skill level he would be in jail right now. I love him dearly, but he has literally cost me thousands of dollars and wasted years of life.

    He is just now realizing it. And regretting it. But he still feels powerless and helpless to change. How do you teach a 37 year old man what you learned at age 8? I can't even remember some of the stuff he does not know... and I don't want to destroy his pride and manhood.

    I am open to suggestions. But yes I do believe some people are unlucky and some people THINK they are.


  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Yea SP that is part of the problem. We as humans are comfortable with what we know. It takes great courage to step out into the unknown.

    But sometimes. the unknown is actually safer and better for us - we just don't know it yet

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