Just wondering if there ever been a brother that got DFD and then was shunned by his wife and his at home kids and he's just said , if your going to treat me like this screw it and walked away from all his responsibilities as a provider etc? It must be hard for those that are DFD to continue to support those that shun him? Again anyone hear of such a case?
Ever heard of a brother being DFD and just walking away from family support?
by Crazyguy 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Slidin Fast
Yep, my dad, He just walked away and I never saw him for about 35 years until my brothers and I found out he was in hospital just before he died.
I don't think it was cynical in his case. He just accepted he was in the wrong and kinda believed in the df status and chose not to try and contact us, his family. The WT still have a hold over people even when they discard them.
He did the right thing by our mum though and something for us kids. It was growing up without a dad in our lives however that sucked. It still does all these years later.
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stillin
It seems like there would be deeper problems than his being DF'd. His family is under no cult obligation to shun him. Some wives' only means of persuasion (husbands too) is to give their mate the cold shoulder. Maybe for a short time it helps one to have time to think about what is going on in their marriage. After so long, though, it's just plain unhealthy. So walking away from it is a logical sequence.
I guess that's better than violence. The cult isn't to blame for everything.
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stan livedeath
happened to me.
i resigned from the cult. i stayed with my born in wife--we had 3 kids ( girl--boy--boy ). after 13 years of marriage i had an affaire--and my wife divorced me as fast as she could. she took my home and business in settlement.
i had regular access to my kids for a few years--then one day my oldest ( daughter ) said she didnt want to see me anymore. i carried on seeing my 2 boys---but it got more and more strained and it was obvious they didnt want to be with me. i sought professional advice--talked to their school teachers---and decided to keep away for a while.
a few years later i wrote to them--to try to start some sort of dialog going..all i got was one reply--from my youngest ( son )--saying he couldnt meet me as it was against his religion. ive not seen him now in 30+years.
years later--i found out my older son had got d/f'd. i found him through facebook.
long story short---we are now very close--hes 41 now . his mother totally shuns him.
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exjwlemming
I separated from my JW wife and ultimately divorced her. During the separation, my one adult daughter (20-22 YO and a JW) would have nothing to do with me. She never answered texts or phone calls. Doing something together was never going to happen. My other minor child (not bapt) was required to spend time with me, but her heart was not in it. Once she became an adult, she stopped seeing me all together...."upholding jah's standards." She had turned against me. My ex got practically everything, materially, in the divorce and maintenence for the rest of her life so she can preach more! After my re-marriage, I only hear from them in a medical or financial crisis. Of course, I'm always there for them and hoping that they wake up, like me, one day.
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eyeuse2badub
If a man leaves his wife, it's sad but 'sh*t happens' all the time. Not supporting your own kids is a different matter all together. Even if your kids shun you at first because you're df'ed or divorced, I truly believe that if a man continues to support his kids, they will soon see the light and the harmful folly in the wtbts's shunning policy. It may take a while for kids who have been heavily indoctrinated by wtbts sh*t to come around, but I think they will eventually because, in most cases, blood is thicker than wt sh*t!
just saying!
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jp1692
EU2BaD: I truly believe that if a man continues to support his kids, they will soon see the light and the harmful folly in the wtbts's shunning policy. It may take a while for kids who have been heavily indoctrinated by wtbts sh*t to come around, but I think they will eventually because, in most cases, blood is thicker than wt sh*t!
You are wrong. I wish you were right, but you are not.
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mentalclarity
This sounds like a terrible idea- depending on the age of the children the parent would be legally responsible and could even face jail time if they don't comply with child support,etc.
I was actually wondering if anyone has heard of a df'd parent bringing accusations of "parent alienation" against their JW ex spouse because it sounds to me if you are telling your kid their dad is going to die in armageddon and to shun him you might have a strong case.
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Saename
After reading stan livedeath's and exjwlemming's posts, I am greatly saddened and disappointed at seeing such sexism against men being practised. How can a court of law rationally justify giving the wife the material possessions of the husband when he is the victim? Both stan livedeath and exjwlemming were treated like trash by their families and eventually also lost their material possessions because of divorce. While I usually detest affairs and cheating in general, I cannot help but sympathise with stan livedeath. How could he have been expected not to cheat when he was being treated this way? How can anyone be so biased against men, women, or anyone when the facts stare straight in one's face? As a person who tries to think logically as much as I can, and as a person who has trained himself to make the fewest number of unjustified assumptions possible, these cases seem to me like primary examples of infantile stupidity. One cannot help but agree with Richard Dawkins's assessment that religion is a delusion.
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stan livedeath
in response to saenames comments about me----with hindsight i realised my wife--a born-in---was just looking for an opportunity to get rid of me...and i obliged by giving her grounds for a scrptural divorce. but our marriage had been a sham for the last few years--for various reasons.