Is disassociating worth the hassle?

by HereIgo 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    I think by DA yourself you are only empowering this J Dub cult. I do not look at this cult as having any authority over me, so if all is going OK without them then just live your life and be happy.

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    Good way of putting it NewYork.

  • _Morpheus

    The answer to the original post is easy...

    obviously no.

    Unless the answer is yes.

    The beautiful thing about leaving the bonds of slavery is that we are free to choose what course of action makes the most sense to us and to us alone. It dosent matter what the org think or members of the congregation think or even anyone else on this forum. If it means something to you to DA then its worth every ounce of effort, worth every penny of ink or byte of data to send the email. Or not if you dont want to be bothered with it all.

  • dozy

    A couple of years an elder contacted me out of the blue asking a few awkward questions ( which I batted away ) about whether I still believed it was Jehovah's organisation blah blah then basically asked me if I wanted to DA myself so that he could "tidy up the paperwork" and that the congregation would "understand my status". I told him I knew where he was going but reluctantly had to decline his generous offer!

    I understand some wanting "closure" and DAing themselves but it does break any contact & essentially it is the same as DFing so if you have any friend or relatives still in & want some kind of contact then it isn't advisable as they will then be obliged to shun you. What is the point after 6 years? There would be an announcement "so-and-so is no longer a JW" and half the congregation would wonder who on earth it was. I'd be inclined just to forget it.

  • DesirousOfChange

    There would be an announcement "so-and-so is no longer a JW" and half the congregation would wonder who on earth it was.

    And most would assume that you had been "caught" by the Elders in some kind of debased "sin" (thanks to the Holy Spirit finally revealing it).

  • dubstepped

    The answer to your question is in your question itself. DAing is a way to end the hassle. If you've faded and can be anyone you want to be without hassle, enjoy. For us, we knew that wasn't the case. Had we celebrated holidays openly, taken a tranfusion, etc. at some point we would be hassled for sure.

    Fading isn't some magic way of not playing their game unless you're one of the few that can do so without hassle. If you read on here very long you see people that face tremendous hassle but turn around and recommend fading. Most think they can save family. It is rare that it happens and they stay in the toxic environment for some time.

    Disassociating ends the game. You can be whoever or whatever you want without fear of hassle. Then they truly have no power over you. You are truly free. There's a price to be paid, but freedom is never free. We have never been happier since DAing last year.

    So it depends on you and the level of hassle you currently endure or are willing to put up with. Whatever you do, do it for you, not for a fantasy of what you can do for or to others. Going out with a bang changes nobody's mind, and neither does staying in thinking you can save others. Again, it happens, but is rare. It's more common that people live their lives for others and end up miserable.

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