Don't Accept the Blame for Being Shunned

by cofty 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • cofty

    Our family and friends blame us for the fact that they shun us.

    Imagine an abusive husband who threatened his wife that if she leaves him he will hunt her down and kill her. Eventually she finds the courage to leave and he carries out his threat. In court his lawyer argues that the wife knew the consequences of leaving and so it was not his client's fault but the victim's.

    This is the twisted ethics of the cult mind.

    Don't play along.

  • KateWild

    Good OP,

    I don't accept shunning full stop. I talk to JWs whenever I see them. I am polite and friendly and if I have time to stop and chat I express my loss of faith and my reasons. Some JWs will respond and others will shun. But I certainly don't take responsibility for being Df'd and shunned.

    Kate xx

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen


    Besides, Watchtower encourages young people not to get married too young (read: before they are at least 25), but on the other hand they pressure JW into getting their kids baptized as soon as they can ring a doorbell and hand out a tract.

    How do these kids really understand the consequences of 'their' choice?
    If you're not mature enough to commit to a marriage partner for life, you're not mature enought to commit to a God or Watchtower for life!

    It may be that your parents would object because they feel that you are too young to make such an important decision. They may fear that your tastes will change as you mature and that you will soon regret your choice of marriage mate. [...]
    Marriage should be undertaken only when we are physically, mentally, and spiritually ready to take on an enduring partnership.
    Wise parents carefully teach their children a dignified view of marriage. They neither urge their children to marry for money nor pressure them to begin dating when still too young to take on adult roles and responsibilities. (1 Corinthians 7:36)
    It is a fact that your tastes will change as you mature. “When I was a babe,” writes the apostle Paul, “I used to speak as a babe, to think as a babe, to reason as a babe; but now that I have become a man, I have done away with the traits of a babe.” (1 Corinthians 13:11) Likewise, the traits in another person that appeal to you as a teenager will likely be quite different from those that will appeal to you when you are older. Thus, the Bible recommends that you wait until you are “past the bloom of youth”—the years when your sexual desire is at its peak—before you take the serious step of choosing a marriage mate.—1 Corinthians 7:36.

    The Bible does not suggest that baptism is a step to be taken only by those who are older or who have reached at least an age at which certain legal rights may be granted. We read at Proverbs 20:11: “Even a child is known by his actions, whether his behavior is pure and right.” One who is somewhat younger can realize what it means to do what is right and to be dedicated to his Creator. Thus, baptism is an important and appropriate step for a young person who has manifested considerable maturity and has made a dedication to Jehovah.Prov. 20:7.

    At the various assemblies and conventions this year, it has been a real joy to see so many who have qualified for baptism. Among them were some quite young in years. You parents are to be commended for raising your children to have an appreciation for the truth and for encouraging them to make a dedication to serve Jehovah when young.
  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen


    Same here. Some family members 'preemptively' shun me. I just continue to treat them well, and contact them whenever I feel like it is a normal thing to do.
    If they don't want that they better take steps themselves, as I won't conform to their announcement 'we have decided to limit our contact with you'.

  • jhine

    All good posts .


  • Sabin
    I will talk to nice JW's now who i know are sincere human beings that have been mind controlled. As for the ones who are not, they can kiss my golf ball arse.
  • DesirousOfChange

    Watchtower encourages young people not to get married too young (read: before they are at least 25), but on the other hand they pressure JW into getting their kids baptized as soon as they can ring a doorbell and hand out a tract.

    Image result for trap

    It's part of their plan to trap them and keep them in the cult forever.


  • Vidiot

    cofty - "Imagine an abusive husband who threatens his wife..."

    Not the worst comparison, considering how lightly the Org treats spousal abuse.

  • dubstepped
    So true. So many leave the organization in shame and with their head held low. When I reached out to my DFed brother after 14 years or so I think he still carried that shame. He is in therapy now and deals with PTSD due to it all. My wife and I walked out of our own accord and with our heads held high. Even then we still felt some blame at first for being the lone dissenters and messing up the family. Not now. Their shunning is on them. Great post Cofty.
  • Tornintwo
    I feel terrible now about the way I used to view things with twisted thinking due to mind control. When people said JWs break up families, I argued wrongly that it was the one who left who chose to destroy the family by turning their back on the one true religion. Now I realise how twisted and sick the reasoning is; you change your faith for whatever conscientious reason you may have, we will shun you, then we will blame you for causing the rift in the family. This mental abuse is particularly damaging for young people. I sincerely hope it comes back to haunt them in the ARC, and the charity commission investigation results.

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