Had an enlightening discussion with my 20 something, baptised, awake son. He said he feels abandoned by the religion, and yet trapped at the same time. I had never thought about it that way before, but can totally understand where he is coming from. My heart goes out to him, and all the other born is, who now have to try to sort all if this out, face the prospect of losing grandparents and other family members, and find a mate who can be empathetic to their situation. My love to all of you who are going through similar situations.
Abandoned by JW and yet trapped
by awake!watcher 11 Replies latest jw friends
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jhine
Well clearly you are there for your son and understand his feelings . So at least he knows that he has one person in his corner .
Can he fade quietly with your help ?
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awake!watcher
Yes, he knows we are here for him. We're fading quietly with him. I was struck by his statement about feeling trapped and abandoned. He lost his dad when young, I'm remarried to a wonderful fading man who views him as a son. We will guide him through this.
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Diogenesister
You sound like a lovely mum, actually a lovely couple. I always stress about my kids getting shunned by grandparents etc As much as it destroys me that my mother shuns Me, people always tell me that, as much as I worry for my kids, of course it doesn't affect them so much because they are a generation apart, and we are their buffet from "the outrageous fortune of life's slings and arrows ( and shunners)" - as you are your sons.
What I'm saying is although it's a difficult journey for him, no doubt about that, you cannot do more than you are in helping him steer a course. Even worrying about others like him! On a practical side note getting him involved in helping others makes outside connections/friendships and takes the focus off his own worries! Maybe something like volunteering for a cult hotline or similar that takes his own negative experience and moulds it into something positive( may help with the finding an empathetic mate bit too!).
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berrygerry
To understand why we all feel so messed up, take a look here (share with your son):
http://www.exitingthejwcult.com/p/if-you-are-going-to-see-mental-health.html
Bonnie's book is a MUST-READ for recovery. (Should be read more than once.)
http://www.amazon.com/EXiting-JW-Cult-Handbook-Witnesses/dp/1508477132
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ToesUp
It is a form of bullying and WT knows that this bullying works. People return due to family and friends and not Jehovah. The more exposure, in the media and on the internet, the more it will get out to the public that this is a dangerous and abusive cult.
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Finkelstein
I think intelligent and honest people are starting to awaken to the fact the WTS/JWS is a pretentious commercialized fraud which was built up by corrupt devious men with men running their own publishing house and self empowering themselves in the process.
That's freedom of religion in America folks. take it or leave it.
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LisaRose
Isolation is a tactic of all cults. First they isolate you from anyone not in the cult, which they do by demonizing all other religions and anyone not a JW. Then they manipulate you to stay in the religion by using the threat of shunning, which is very powerful because it involves everyone you know. Social isolation is very detrimental to a person, which is why shunning is so effective.
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Linda
I understand that term being abandoned and trapped. That's how I feel these days. I really want to leave and have a strategy in mind or else fade. But one thing for sure, being with the dubs makes one feel like we are being pushed out the door not walking out on our own. Thank God your son has someone who believes in him and is standing by him. Good for you guys.
I will let you know how it all goes in the next week or so.
Hugs to you
Linda
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Nathan Natas
Your son has come to a crossroads in his life.
He can decide, "This crap stops HERE and it stops NOW. My future and the future of my children will not be dictated by a fear-mongering mind-control cult," or he can choose to be a pussy.
Pick up some cat food on the way home tonite.