Leaving it all behind.
I haven't been on an exJW site for months and months. I frankly am way past the point where I define myself as an exJW, I am who I am and it doesn't have really anything to do with the way I was raised or spent a considerable portion of my life, I also refuse to be bound by Witness requirements as to leaving, contact with Witnesses, or some kind of responsibility to whack people who seem perfectly happy as Witnesses over the head with 'the Truth about the Truth'. I have recently run in to a few people that seems to simply obsess with their lives as Witnesses and why they left and in some cases the way they were treated or mistreated, or the need to "do" something. To me, that would mean in some sense that they are still controlling me. I am not criticizing the way anyone chooses to get through life but I wonder if this kind of focus is good over time, though perfectly understandable in the initial stages of departure. Would it be better to simply leave it all behind and get on with your life? I probably won't see responses to this post because it's unlikely I'll show up here again for another year but I thought this might be food for thought for some.
Congrats! You were able to make it past the stage where you no longer even identify as "EXJW". I think that many of us have that goal; to be able to see ourselves as just another, regular person, without thinking of ourselves as "EXJW". Easier for some than others, but I think most of us have that goal. If we're here, it's obviously because we are not "there" yet. But congrats to you, since you've made it to that point. Hopefully, we see you there soon.
Hmmmm. Pretty black-and-white comments in this negative little OP that are undoubtedly well-founded in some cases but reduce a complex issue to a few judgemental asides. Oh that we were all as enlightened as Jazzbo!
Funny how judgemental word-smuggling occurs in Jazzbo's OP:
You say these people "obsess with their lives as Witnesses..." [emphasis added] whilst another view could be some exJWs have a concern about the impact of JW organization and try to make sense of it by expressing their views on it and hoping it helps others feel less isolated and alone. It's called sense-making and support - very human needs.
You posit yourself as in some way better - although you do not come right out and say so (heavily implied though).
I do understand some of your conclusions: Good point: If our day is consumed with 'the need to do something' about the injustice of JW organization, it could be construed as JW organization 'still controlling us'. But that too sounds like an unempathically negative judgement.
Fact is, in all walks of life, people are impacted by negative experiences and some of those people cope by dedicating their lives to trying to rectify that negativity and ensure support is available for anyone else going through the same difficulties.
Look at how battered women got together a couple of decades ago and through sheer effort and toil started women's refuges, or how sexually abused children grew up and started their own support services for other abused children. Would anyone dare say that these women and children are "still controlled" by their old experiences? Is it fair to reduce it to this - or is much, much more involved?.
Why should speaking out and expecting better of a religious organization be dismissed as still being controlled by that organization? Isn't speaking out and putting into practice supports and accurate information actually the very opposite: Empowerment by facing one's demons? That takes courage and confidence
Not once did Jazzbo's OP reflect upon the fact that there are many helpful ways of responding to life's adversities.Good for you, Jazzbo that you have moved on in your life. But why the need to turn up every so often and drop judgemental asides about people who choose to respond differently?
BTW, I'm not expecting anything of you at all - except: Stand back and look at the wider picture and ease up on the judgement.
If reaching out to others is not for you, well and good. If getting on in your life means you expunge from it any remnants of your JW experience, fantastic. Not everyone can do that (e.g., those with JW spouses, children, parents, relatives, etc).
But please don't drop a negative OP and then, once you've spat your tacks, say, "I probably won't see responses to this post because it's unlikely I'll show up here again for another year..." Whoop-de-shit, man. Why bother with an OP in the first place?
From every angle I can think of, your closing sentence is breath-taking in its hubris: You cannot even be bothered to hear what others think of your judgemental OP.
Yes, you are criticizing and if you have "moved on" so successfully why bother to come back after "months and months" to bitch about the "few people" you "ran into" recently who "obsess" with their lives as witnesses? What do want a medal?
If nothing else, I read some funny shit on here. I also sometimes learn something new, although I am coming from quite a low base - my formal education ended when I was 14.
One day I will grow up big and strong, like Jazzbo.
I'm here on and off for 10 years and 13 days, and I so enjoy interacting with forum members.
I still remember my first post and the responses I received.
Three of the responders still post; everytime I see their avatar or username, I get a good feeling.
THAT is what keeps me coming back.
Also, I got my sister and my daughter involved with the JW's, so I need to keep up with WT shenanigans.
I got past the exJW identity shortly after my d'f. Unfortunately, I live in a large apartment complex which is populated by JWs including inactive/d'f. Whenever I see one, which is all the time, I sometimes regress to both my JW persona and/or the exJW self for a short while.
hello I'm posting to let you know that I am over posting here.
if you are still posting... well I feel sorry for you but I don't judge you.
Or calling someone on the phone to tell them you won't be calling them?