Question about dfed relatives

by awake!watcher 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • jp1692

    A!W, you could simply tell said busybody to mind their own business and then refuse to engage them further on the matter!

  • MacHislopp

    Hello awake!watcher and all the others,

    These below are the Society’s Governing Body directive/rules applicable – since the year 2010 – and to be followed by the BOE in all congregations worldwide.

    The material is take from the Elder’s manual entitled :

    “Shepherd the Flock of God”—1 Peter 5:2 published in 2010 (Printing edition 2012)


    Matters Related to

    Disfellowshipped and

    Disassociated Ones

    Make yearly visits on those who qualify

    Permit them to obtain personal literature at the

    Kingdom Hall

    Assist those having undue association with disfellowshipped

    or disassociated relatives

    6. If members of the congregation are known to have undue association with disfellowshipped or disassociated relatives who are not in the

    household, elders should counsel and reason with

    those members of the congregation from the Scriptures.

    Review with them information from the “God’s Love” book, pages 207-208;

    The Watchtower of April 15, 1988, pages 26-30; or the article “Display

    Christian Loyalty When a Relative Is Disfellowshipped” in the August 2002

    Our Kingdom Ministry.

    If it is clear that a Christian is violating the spirit of the disfellowshipping decree in this regard and does not respond to counsel, it may be that he would not qualify for congregation privileges, which require one to be exemplary. He would not be dealt with judicially unless there is persistent spiritual association or he openly criticizes the disfellowshipping decision.

    116 “Shepherd the Flock of God”—1 Peter 5:2


    Notice the wording, and surely the BOE will apply very scrictly. I do hope this quote might help.

    Greetings to all,

    J.C. MacHislopp

  • BluesBrother

    The key is whether they live in your home i.e. teen son or wife, or whether they don't. If part of the houseld normal family life continues but not "spiritual association "

    Back in the 80's there was a relaxing and you might find an article from then that says what you want. Any dub would say, thhat ir was old and nor copied...

  • AverageJoe1
    Yes and it’s one I use frequently to debate with PIMIs. If it is in a Watchtower then this is to be taken as Gospel (heavy sarcasm here)!

    w74 8/1 pp. 466-473 Maintaining a Balanced Viewpoint

    Toward Disfellowshipped Ones

    Par. 5: Congregational elders, as well as individual members of a congregation, therefore, ought to guard against developing an attitude approaching that which some Jewish rabbinical writers fomented toward Gentiles in viewing them as virtual enemies.

    Par. 17: Since blood and marital relationships are not dissolved by a congregational disfellowshipping action, the situation within the family circle requires special consideration.

    Par. 18: Family members can carry out these Scriptural obligations and yet not show themselves out of harmony with a congregational action disfellowshipping one of the family circle. This they do by not spiritually fellowshipping with such a one.

    Par. 21: As to disfellowshipped family members (not minor sons or daughters) living outside the home, each family must decide to what extent they will have association with such ones. This is not something that the congregational elders can decide for them. What the elders are concerned with is that “leaven” is not reintroduced into the congregation through spiritual fellowshipping with those who had to be removed as such “leaven.” Thus, if a disfellowshipped parent goes to visit a son or daughter or to see grandchildren and is allowed to enter the Christian home, this is not the concern of the elders. Such a one has a natural right to visit his blood relatives and his offspring. Similarly, when sons or daughters render honour to a parent, though disfellowshipped, by calling to see how such a one’s physical health is or what needs he or she may have, this act in itself is not a spiritual fellowshipping.

  • zeb

    74 wt on shunning.

    "Each family must decide". Such a one being parent or grand parent has a natural right to visit their blood relatives and his/her offspring."

    see 15-9-1981 for a flip flop.

  • awake!watcher

    Thanks to you all for your help. I think the most positive quote is in the sheparding book, which I can't use on this person. He is a fully indoctrinated dub who has excluded our family from his wedding because we have had contact with a dfed relative of mine. I'm done with him. You all have given excellent help and advice, thank you.

  • UnshackleTheChains
  • zeb

    1974 wt shunning.

    "Each family must decide" Such a one parent or gp has a natural right to visit their blood relatives and his/her offspring"

    then in 15th 9 1981 there came a flip flop.

    ....."excluded our family from his wedding " you are not obliged to buy them any gift then.

  • dubstepped

    If you don't shun the shunned, you can become the shunned. Happened to us because we stopped shunning after 13 years or so of faithful shunning.

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