Are faders like me just cowards? Should I show my face? (page 2)

Overrated

I would say I'm under-cover. If I can create enough mayhem and chaos as possible in secret to wake up as any people as possible without getting caught.

Rocketman123

Critical thinkers (faders) are not cowards, they hold more integrity and intelligence most of the time.

The WTS/JWS is now a notable and accepted fraud perpetrated by a small group of corrupt religious charlatans.

Good reason to leave this organization if your ask me and not only from a biblical viewpoint.

pistolpete

Are faders like me just cowards?

Why would you be a coward?

If you leave the WT -----There is no God to appease!

If you stay in the WT ----There is no God to please!

But you only have one life to live-----and for most that life is less than 100 years.

So live it as you wish.

The goal is not to be a hero or a coward, but to survive as long as possible in peace and a with some measure of happiness.

Because after it’s over, will we really care if we were viewed as cowards or heroes?

Leaving life with a smile should be the goal

The Bethelite

I DAed myself but everyone's situation is different. No matter how you choose to get away from them, each course of action has it's pluses and minuses.

Very few of us had any real choices getting into their organization. You have a few options/choices on how to leave it.

Good Luck

Pete Zahut

There is no good way to leave the JW's and that's how you know it's a Cult or at the very least, Cult-like.

Fading isn't cowardly, it takes just as much courage to face the fears JW's have imposed on you but doing so takes away or at least limits their power over you and the havoc they can wreak on you life.

Fading takes strength in the form of "self control" because you don't get to have your say...no immediate gratification because you don't get to blow everyone who has deceived you, out of the water the way you'd probably like to. You don't get to share what you've learned, with your friends and loved ones. Instead, you have the difficult task of keeping things to yourself...biding your time for the sake of damage control.

I lost both my Father who was studying with JW's and my Elder Father in Law (48) because of the JW lies regarding blood transfusion. I faded and rather than tell everyone I know about what happened, I've bided my time and have been able to make a bigger impact by subtly pointing my family and loved ones to information that has opened their eyes without causing them to run in the opposite direction.

mynameislame

I would say just fade. Every once in a while you run into an old JW friend and it's still nice to catch up.

Making a statement about leaving isn't going to change anyone's mind.

If you need closure address the people you need closure with.

Phizzy

I chose to fade, as I have close family that are enmeshed heavily in the Cult, and unlikely to leave, why force them to have to shun me ? That was my thinking when I left all those years ago.

But, I determined that I would not be forever looking over my shoulder in fear of them, that was no kind of freedom. So, I started to Vote, to donate blood, and to smoke cigars, all of which could have resulted in some kind of action. But, if it happened, so be it, it would not have been of my direct choosing.

I am now effectively DA'd , though I don't know if there has been an official announcement. I was told that I had " crossed a line", I did not enquire what that "line" was, I don't think it was any of the above things, I think it was more my outspoken activism on Social Media, where I pull no punches against the Org. why should I ? I have never posted anything untrue !

So I don't think I have in any way been a coward by fading, and I did achieve a good number of years " under the radar", whatever happens now does not worry me, my JW family are really DA'd by me now, I do not want to associate with them, because they choose to belong to a horrible Cult.

Simon

No, you don't owe anyone anything, certainly nothing to any bunch of militant activists who undoubtedly want to create martyrs for their cause.

Everyone should do what is best for them and their family, with no concern for voices on the internet.

StephaneLaliberte

As I have faded, my core family (wife and kids) are no longer under the full control of watchtower. I say full control as there are small things that still impact my core family: We cannot publicly celebrate Christmas, Halloween and birthdays. We still do, but we don’t do it in a manner that would be seen by JWs. We also don’t say anything negative about cults and the JWs on social media or in the vicinity of JWs ears.

Living with these hurdles has allowed us to keep a decent relationship with our JWs family (parents, relatives, and their JW friends). For instance, we can share meals with them and have conversations. To ensure that these relationships are based on respect, we’ve had a unique conversation with them years ago on “why we left”. They heard our reasons and never asked about it again. On our part, we never talked about these either and never criticize their belief since. On the contrary, we know their religion makes them happy and so, are willing to help when needed. This works as our relationship is based on love and respect.

Now, are we cowards for taking the path we've have chosen? By revealing our position to our family, we’ve taken very real and sizable risks in our lives. We’ve lost all our friends and several family members in the process. We also risked disfellowshipping should our family had chosen to report us. So, are we any less courageous for not facing our enemy and telling them straight what we truly believe?

Here is an example that will help put things in perspective:

During the Nazi regime, the JWs take great pride in the fact that they would not salute Hitler and face persecution head on. For those who did, we can say they were remarkably courageous. But what about those who saluted Hitler, lied about their beliefs, and blew up train tracks at night? Were they not courageous as well? Didn’t their actions have a greater impact on the Nazi regime than the martyrs willingly giving themselves up?

Same goes for the faders. Many will leave the WT, lie about why, and in the “evening”, write on apostate sites such as this one, contributing to the “resistance”.

Not willingly making yourself and your family martyrs doesn’t make you any less courageous, it simply makes you an astute enemy.

jwundubbed

What is cowardly about not giving them power over you? Revoking their power actually takes courage. You aren't slinking away. You are choosing your way out. The way that works best for you. Allowing them to guilt you into doing what isn't right for you would be the cowardly way.

When people define heroism they say it is doing something even though you are scared. You are clearly scared and yet you taking action in your own way, anyway. That is what courage is. Don't let a cult tell you what is courageous and what is cowardly. They don't know one from the other.

Are faders like me just cowards? Should I show my face?

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