My story is as follows. I've been friends with a guy for round 1,5 years. Always thought he is just your standard Chrsitian as that is what he stated to me when the talk arised. Either way I knew nothing about JWs until a month ago when my mate told me over another discussion that he was a JW so I was like ok, but finding it strange it as it was not mentioned 1,5 years ago.. But then I did some intensive research and was just pretty shocked at what I read.
To add some depth, we both live in a different country and work together. He initiated the friendship and is a pretty decent dude for the most part. As such I started to disclose my normal lifestyle like I have girlfriends, sex, night life, sport just general guy talk. He always just entertained it never added much to it except that he was married and divorced. He would add in talk that I don't vote, or I'm pretty neutral on politics etc, but I never put anything to it.
Anyway after he told me he is JW Idid research and decided to bring this up as to understand how he believes this. I spoke about the things I read. Turns out he is indeed a devout JW, born in raised etc.
When I read this shunning policy i thought it is so archaic and strange. He told me once he had another guy friend who was gay. I then decided to ask him: Your gay friend, non-JW, is gay and you talk and chill on occasion. Your JW friend then comes out and is then dfd will you associate? He tells me definitely not! So I state, you will associate with a "wordly" gay dude, but wont associate with a JW gay dude. That's a double standard. So he says well my Non-JW friend is ignorant I cant hold him responsible but my JW friend should have know better. I was BLOWN away by the response. The reasoning was beyond me. He then spoke about how when he was a kid so many doors slammed in his face and it made him angry - I said so you're angry about that, but if one of your own JWs comes to you with info they discovered you would report it, df, and shun. It's the same. Its a double standard. He just doesn't see it that way
My biggest issue
was the disassociation bit, I had an argument with him on this as I felt
it didn't allow anyone who was born in to have a freedom of choice to
religion without a consequence. That consequence being shunning. He just
says that it's a gift and the gift should be accepted if it is not
accepted I will need to associate less. mind=blown. The more soild
questions I ask, the more he seems to jump around the answers and not
answer directly. Don't get it.
Anyway he told me no JW is perfect and all are imperfect to which I said I just encourage you to think a little independently as this resonates with me as being a brainwashing/mind control.The "discreetslave" are human and thus can also be imperfect as you stated, please just think a little more independently. He did state on occassion why I am disrespecting his beliefs and being disrespectful, but I couldn't keep it in I just wanted him to see what I see because he is a respecting cool guy. I've decided to just say look we reason differently and we can continue to talk and maybe leave religion out.
Any thing you can share as being JW?
Will there be and depth to the friendship? What is going on in his head?
He's a pretty "normal" respecting dude, I'm just blown away by the
reasonings. Could you share some advice as being a JW? I do still feel
pretty strange knowing what I know, I really knew absolutely nothing
about them till a month ago.