I think if I was awake at 19 with so many family in I would play both sides. I would have the life I wanted never believing any of it and just do as little as possible to keep the family happy. One can fake their hours and once your busy with your career etc you could just be to busy for any advancement. If a family memeber ever asks why your not advancing you could make up a number of comments.
Anybody else having trouble walking away?
by JW-Matrix 17 Replies latest jw friends
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startingover
I'm really curious about your fifth generation roots. I am 62, third generation who's roots go back to 1910. I was an only child of Gilead grads, and have thought that my parents really went against the grain having me. Being fifth generation means several of your ancestors did that.
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steve2
Unless you're brain dead and have an insensitive disposition, walking away will almost always be difficult. I can't see how anyone can walk away without trouble of one sort or another. You're very young too so your family ties will be fresh and super-strong. I was the eldest male child in my extended JW family - but it counted for nothing. My maternal grandparents were converted to the Bible Students (before they became JWs) in the 1920s and my paternal converted about ten years after that. I thought that being a 3rd generation JW was suffocating enough - I cannot imagine what it would be like to be a fifth generation JW. I picture the heaviness of total strangulation.
You are not the first JW who identifies their waking up soon after baptism. It is far, far more common than people realize - although individuals often do not immediately act on the anti-climax of baptism. I have long said on this very forum that baptism is the very first step in leaving JW organization because after the dunking a disturbing sense of anti-climax sets in. The individual realizes baptism changes sweet bugger all. And the "inducements" to be baptized appear puny. Congregational responsibilities and applying for "special privileges" in the preaching work? Come on Governing body! What a dead smelly duck are these inducements..
If you stay the course of leaving, you'll do a lot of growing in your 20s. Being so young, time is lavishly on your side despite what the JWs claim. Take your time. There is no imperative that you get this sorted pronto. In fact, it is far better you take a much more steady low-key approach. You're 19 - you probably couldn't tolerate family-wide shunning if your exit was too spectacular. Go easy, go steady.
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notalone
JW Matrix, welcome. I am close to 50 and a fourth gen with my children being fifth.Two years ago we were the uber-witnesses. I had read the IT books, the Proclaimers and everything written by the society since the 50's. I would even call out others during the watchtower citing other publications. I truly and deeply believed it all. Now as of this year three gens have left. All of us. I tell you this to say there is always hope if someone is doing things for the right reason. As a mother I am going to give you a little motherly advice. Have a plan and understand why you are making these choices. While in college build friendships, study hard and get a degree. Save money. Tell everyone you are making plans to move where the need is greater (this is not a lie. There is a great need for you to get away if you want to be the best person you can be). Tell them you would rather interact out in the field if they try to push bethel. When you graduate, find a job that is far enough away that no one could easily drive to and no one knows you. Occasionally, go to a congregation not in the same area, so no one can happen upon your home. Then drop off the radar. Call family occasionally so they know you aren't dead, but don't try to keep a relationship. There are a lot of great people out there, go meet them. You were raised in a cult so be careful that you don't find yourself in co-dependent relationships. Educate yourself on healing and always choose to have people in your life that like the real you and inspire you. If you ever need to talk just message my husband or I.
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The Searcher
Welcome JW-Matrix.
Silence the "privilege-pushers" interrogations by telling them that when you feel ready for "responsibilities" in the org, you'll "take it in prayer to Jehovah."
Jokingly tell them that they'll be suggesting you get married next! They might get your point.
I wish you well with your college and future life & career.
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AgentSmith
Welcome to the forum JW-Matrix. It is difficult to just 'walk away' if your social support are all JW's. However you have time on your side. Play the game, make friends in college. Create a new support system, which will make things so much easier.
You wont be the only awakened JW, that acts the part. There are many others, even elders here, that know the truth about the truth. Circumstances keep them in, for now.
Good luck.
:)
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stan livedeath
My grandchildren...8 of them..are 5 th generation ( on their grandmother's side). 5 I've never met. The oldest is about your age. I wish she too was mentally out. My door is always open to them. Do you have any family members who are out that you can talk to?
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greenhornet
I am a single parent my daughter was living with me at the time, we came in a little late to the Sunday meeting and the attendant sat us on the first row like 10 feet from the podium.. we did not like sitting there so i slipped her a note asking her to meet me in the car 5 min after I left. We drove off leaving our bible, song book and wich tower rag on the seat . So yes we walked away and never went back. That was over 20 years ago. Oh yes my daughter is doing good finishing her graduate degree at the UDUB Seattle.