Dubstepped- Hang in there buddy. I was born and raised in the JW's got out 13 years ago in 2003 at age 44 finally. It's not an easy process moving on, but what you're feeling is totally normal for what we all went through with the mind control and indoctrination that the WT Society drilled into our brains.
It gets better I promise you. The more time goes by without being at those insane meetings and the further you get away from the indoctrination our PTSD will improve. With time you'll be able to pick up hobbies and enjoyable life activities that will assist you in moving on from the cult. I took up guitar playing and songwriting over 5 years ago and it's been a huge help in my healing experience. So much emotional power and healing forces within music.
As time goes by hanging out with non- JW's and ex-JW's who are supportive you will gradually find activities that will help you heal from within, but emphasis on gradually. Don't pressure yourself to feel guilty about the way you feel- how you feel is natural as many of us felt as well. With time the JW cult will have less and less of an impact on your inner psyche and your life will be re-filled with positive activities that bring you happier and better memories. Give yourself time, be your own best friend. We were all taught as JW's to " hate " ourselves or not value our authentic selves and we had low self esteem. It takes time to rebuild that self esteem back up again. You'll do fine, you'll make it my friend. You're a cool guy and I for one really enjoy your contributions to this board. Please know you have friends here as a support and I offer my friendship as well. Take care, any time you'd like to chat, I'm always here, O.K. ? Been there, experienced this stuff myself. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper