What's preventing YOU from stopping meeting attendance?

by nicolaou 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • BluesBrother

    Why go?

    For me , my wife is determined to stay despite her seeing a lot of the flaws we can see. She is loyal to what she used to know and thinks all this silliness is "a passing phase"

    if she were in good health I would let he go alone but the truth is, I carry the bags, find a seat , fend off elders and well meaning idiots.... For decades I bore the burdens and made her life easier in it, now I cannot fix things the least I can do is help out.

    It is not every meeting, thank God . Funnily enough our relationship is better now than when I was in, I can agree when she grumbles and not try and correct her.

    It is give and take, I guess.

  • Phizzy

    All our circumstances are different, except in one regard. The one thing that prevents us from making a stand (or a stop, in the case of the Meetings) is :

    FEAR !

    There are a number of fears that assail us when we finally decide we cannot take anymore, a lot of them in my case turned out to be unfounded.

    I feared my wife would go ape shit, she did not, I feared they would find a way to DF me, they did not, I feared my JW family would totally cut me off, they did not.

    I was much luckier than many, it's true, but read the experiences on here, and you will see no eventuality is insurmountable, and everybody says their leaving was the best thing they ever did.

  • just fine
    just fine

    The only one stopping anyone from doing anything - is ourselves. We can do whatever we want to do - there will be consequences. The consequence of going to please others is maddening and self limiting. The prospect of not going and losing family is sad.

    its a lose/lose situation. Your freedom or your family. I chose freedom and would again.

  • blondie

    I was inactive 3 times from 19 till now my early 60's. I have been out for 16 years and know I won't go back ever.

    I have less family in the Borg now but I have nothing to do with those who are left finally recognizing the abuse in my family and in the Borg, emotional, spiritual, and physical. I learned the only way for me was to make a complete cutoff.

    But for everyone is different....experiences, abilities. But I feel for me it was like being told that I would die unless the bad was cut out. There would be pain, but I would not die. My past life would be gone but I had a new life.

    If anyone has read my story over the years, you know I did not fade the last time, I just left in the middle of a circuit assembly and never came back, not for the memorial, wedding, or funeral. The first Sunday I woke up not having to go to a meeting and have a nice breakfast of waffles and strawberries with my husband and read the Sunday paper, go to a nice movie in the afternoon. No more rushing to evening meetings after work unless it was to go to a class of my choosing.

    Examine your relationships at the KH, are they really for friends, if someone says something bad about you, are they loyal or do they believe it . Do people say you aren't doing enough and no acknowledge the real sacrifices you are making.

    Well, isn't that why some may not be leaving, because they know their love is conditional. My family helped me out the door but proving they had no real love towards me or others that poisoned my life.


  • Skepsis

    In my case there are two main reasons:

    - Family and all my friends are inside the Org. It's your whole social life.

    - And not only that: you have no friend or support outside.

    So yes, I could DA'd myself but it's a shock. I prefer trying to get a life outside step by step because it's not always so easy.

    Add to that the emptiness yo feel once you discover the TTATT. At least in my case, I need time to make changes and accomodate myself to this new situation.

  • Vidiot
    Skepsis - "...the emptiness you feel once you discover the TTATT..."

    More like loneliness, IMO.

    Just sayin'.

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